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Talk:Chilean cruiser Esmeralda (1883)/GA1

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Latest comment: 3 years ago by The ed17 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 12:41, 9 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


I'll grab this one.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 12:41, 9 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

  • A couple of DABs, which you can check at [1]
  • File:Twms gen twcms 00 6077 large.jpg needs a PD-1923 tag
    • Fascinatingly, the page says both "You must also include a United States public domain tag to indicate why this work is in the public domain in the United States." and, because of the PD-100 tag, "This photographic reproduction is therefore also considered to be in the public domain in the United States." But from en.wp policies, we need a publishing date and I can't find one (tough for paintings!), so I've removed the image.
  • In the infobox,
    • link compound steam engines
    • link to and clarify the type of boiler if possible
    • Move boiler and hp to |Ship power field
    • Clarify that hp is ihp and link input and outputs
        • Last four done.
    • Range figure is unavailable?
      • Nothing given in Brook or Conway's, strangely.
    • Add link=in to knots
      • Done.
    • Add link for deck (ship)
      • Added as a redlink to deck armor, which really ought to be its own article.
    • Fix rounding errors for 10 and 6-inch guns
      • Done.
        • The digit controls the rounding, so the number of places displayed to the right of the decimal point. What you want is 0 so that there aren't any digits to the right and the rounding is to the nearest mm.
    • Give the bore diameter for a 6-pounder
      • Done, I think.
    • Convert sizes for both 6 pdr and 37 mm guns
    • To keep things as simple as possible in the infobox, I'd delete caliber lengths
      • I've deleted the word but left the slashes. Does that work?
    • See Catinat-class cruiser for a useful example of formatting and linking in the infobox
    • The note is redundant, since you're citing all of these figures in the specifications
      • Done.
  • Good to see you back in the game. More later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:53, 30 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Suggest curved rather than arched.
  • Clarify that Japan is the Empire of Japan, not the modern nation.
    • Done.
  • Link IJN and provide the abbreviation if you're going to use it later.
    • Linked, abbreviation not used.
  • Done through the lede, more when I get back from work.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:45, 6 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • I don't think that congregationalist is the right word to use for the supporters of the Chilean Congress. How about Congressional? And link it to the Chilean Congress.
  • It was also faster, being the fastest cruiser the first clause is kinda redundant and I suggest simply stating that it was the fastest in the world
    • Done.
  • areas overhanging the machinery Suggest "around" instead, and clarify that you're referring to the propulsion machinery
    • Done, though I used "above."
  • Link waterline on first use
    • Done.
  • which if hit by an enemy shell in the right position could allow water into a good portion of the ship Awkward, I'd suggest reversing the order of these two clauses
    • Done plus an additional copyedit.
  • However, as small cruisers were incapable of taking on full-fledged capital ships, Armstrong-built cruisers would subsequently never mount guns larger than 8.2 inches (210 mm). This needs to be expanded because George Rendel and others believed that small ships armed with big guns could be an effective counter to battleships during this time.
    • I've expanded on this with as much as Brooke gives.
  • Link Prince of Wales, and identify him as the future Edward VII, Director of Naval Construction, Nathaniel Barnaby, Army and Navy Journal, compound-expansion steam engine, quick-firing gun
    • All done.
  • Fix the roundings in the specifications section and do the same things there as I suggested for the infobox.
  • The propulsion started with two horizontal compound steam engines built by R and W Hawthorn, which were in turn fed by four double-ended boilers. The former were placed in their own compartments, while the boilers were placed equally in two of their own compartments. Awkward. More later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 09:43, 7 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Typo in the armor section for the armor thickness at the ends of the ship
  • In the Japanese para what does the 1901-02 refer to? And that date for the 120 mm guns? You've already give a conversion for 6-inch and 14 inch torpedoes, so you needn't do it again.
  • Link laid down/keel laying, launched
  • Where in the UK is the Armstrong-Mitchell shipyard? City more important than country. Fix in the infobox as well
    • All above done/fixed
  • Was Cordero overthrown because of Esmerelda, or were they totally unrelated?
  • You provided the conversions for 120 mm and 150 mm in the description, you needn't do it again. But be sure to use a hypen since it's used in a adjectival form here.
    • Done
  • What did the ship do during Tsushima? What unit was she assigned to, etc.? Moar details!--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:11, 11 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Number ranges (pages and dates) need to be spelled out in full by MOS
  • Still need to put 4.7 inch guns into adjectival form and delete the conversion in the Japanese section.
  • The conversion for 6-inch gun in that section is redundant
  • rearmed the ship's secondary armament replaced
  • Link stability to ship stability
  • You're going to need to dive deeper into the Russo-Japanese War. Corbett's Maritime Ops in the Russo-Japanese War has a lot more coverage of what she was doing, especially during Tsushima.
  • All books need either an ISBN or an OCLC # and journal articles need either a doi or ISSN--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:20, 20 October 2020 (UTC)Reply
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