Talk:Cholmondeley Castle/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Eric Corbett (talk · contribs) 15:55, 12 January 2014 (UTC)

Later history

• "As of 2014 Cholmondeley Castle is occupied by his mother, Lavinia, who has developed and cares for the garden." That Lavinia cares for the garden (should that be garden or gardens?) is repeated in the Gardens and park section, so probably not needed here as well.

• Thanks; duplication deleted. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 16:36, 14 January 2014 (UTC)

Old Hall

• "Old Hall" is capitalised in this section, but it isn't in the Interior section.

• Fixed. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

Present building

• There seems to be some slight overlap/conflict with what's said later in the Exterior section. Here we're told that the front faced west, but as the Exterior section tells us that the front faces west I don't understand the reason for the past tense, unless the present front isn't the one completed in 1805.

• Amended wording. Does that work? --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

Chapel

• First we're told that it's timber-framed encased in brick and then we're told that it's built of brick.

• Amended. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

Gardens and park

• "Since the middle of the 20th century the gardens have been under the care of Lavinia, the wife of the late 6th Marquess". She was never the wife of the late 6th Marquess, she was the wife of the 6th Marquess and now his widow. Same issue in the lead.

• Of course! Both changed to "widow". --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

Lead

• "The site of the house has been a family seat of the Cholmondeley family since the 12th century." That "family ... family" doesn't look great.

• First "family" deleted. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

• "... who also created the landscape park". Should that be "landscaped park"?

• I think "landscape park" is the technical term for this type of development (like "formal garden"). This is how it is used in Groves, p.21 (on the same page she refers to the "landscaped lake" which is not a technical term in the same sense). It is used in a similar way here. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

• " The structures listed at Grade II include the altered remains of the Old Hall, five of the lodges in and around the estate, and a variety of structures in the gardens. That "structures ... structures" ain't so pretty.

• First "structures" -> "buildings". --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

References

• Shouldn't ref #42 go directly to [1]? I'm not entirely happy with ref #43, which looks far too promotional to me. Doesn't seem to be necessary either, as the only fact I can see it's backing up is that the pageant has been going since 2008, which is covered by ref #42 anyway.

• The web site seems to have been changed since I wrote this bit, so I've changed the events sentence, and got rid of the that horrible web site. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

• Ref #37 doesn't seem to go anywhere.

• Another change; so I've deleted the bit about the gift shop. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

• Many thanks for the review. I think I have dealt with all the points. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 11:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

  OK, I think that's job done now, we can move on to other things. Eric Corbett 11:34, 18 January 2014 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.