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Talk:City Hall MRT station/GA1

< Talk:City Hall MRT station
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Epicgenius in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 2 years ago39 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 01:27, 10 March 2022 (UTC)Reply


Hello @ZKang123, I hope to look at this soon. Epicgenius (talk) 01:27, 10 March 2022 (UTC)Reply


GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):  
    c (OR):  
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):  
    b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

  ·   ·   ·  

Prose, POV, and coverage

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Lead:
  • North South (NSL) and East West Lines (EWL) - It seems a bit strange to not fully spell out "North South Line" just before the abbreviation is given. My suggestion is "North South Line (NSL) and East West Line (EWL)".
  • it is located underneath Stamford Road, near the junctions with North Bridge Road and St Andrew's Road. - Near Stamford Road's junctions with North Bridge Road and St Andrew's Road? Also, "located underneath" can probably just be "underneath".
  • Initially named St Andrew's MRT station - Initially known by that name during planning? I assume for the cathedral or the road.
  • Construction of the tunnels between this station and Raffles Place - This should be "Construction of the tunnels between City Hall and Raffles Place stations" if it's the segment between here and Raffles Place MRT station, or else "Construction of the tunnels between City Hall station and Raffles Place" if you meant the road instead.
  • With the MRT extension to Outram Park station, the station opened on 12 December 1987. - The word "station" is repeated in close succession. You can condense this to something like "The station opened on 12 December 1987 with the MRT extension to Outram Park station."
  • ahead of the MRT network operational split with the eastern line extension to Tanah Merah station - I know what you're trying to say, but the sentence structure is a bit confusing. Do you mean something like "ahead of the opening of an eastward extension to Outram Park station, which split the MRT network into two lines"?
– Epicgenius (talk) 01:17, 11 March 2022 (UTC)Reply
Great. Moving on to the history section now:
  • The station, then named St Andrew's, was included as in the early plans of the MRT network in May 1982. - A couple things here. The word "as" in the phrase "as in the early plans" should be cut. The station was tentatively supposed to be known as St Andrew's but never operated under that name, whereas the current sentence structure implies that the station was known as St Andrew's while it was operational. On a related note, the name "St Andrew's" should probably go later in the sentence because the station itself has not been introduced. E.g. "The station was included in the early plans of the MRT network in May 1982 and was originally supposed to be named St Andrew's".
  • It was later renamed to City Hall for historical reasons in November that year. - "Later" is unnecessary as the month and year are mentioned anyway. Do the sources elaborate on the historical reasons?
  • the Novena to Outram Park stations - Either "the" should be removed, or another "the" should be added before "Outram Park".
  • This segment was given priority as it passes through areas having a higher demand for public transport - Do you mean "that had a higher demand"? Currently, the word "having" is present tense, whereas past tense may be more appropriate.
  • The line was aimed - This can just be "The line aimed".
  • four 800 metres (870 yd) of tunnels - This should be "four 800-metre (870 yd) tunnels".
  • Construction of the station began on 7 September 1984 with a Christian ceremony - Any idea what type of "Christian ceremony", or was it just a generic ceremony with Christians?
More later. – Epicgenius (talk) 01:45, 11 March 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • For the first point... I think that was a typo (partly from copy pasting from an article elsewhere). Removed the "as".
  • Fixed. No, not much. Added that it was also renamed to better reflect the locality served. Source in question.
  • Isn't "the A and B stations" grammatically correct? Cos it sounds weirder if it's "between A and B stations", as though something is missing.
  • Fixed
  • Fixed
  • Fixed
  • Fixed
  • From the source, it's implied that the ceremony was held with Christian rites, with prayers and bishops overseeing the ceremony.
ZKang123 (talk) 01:55, 11 March 2022 (UTC)Reply
Regarding "the A and B stations", it is inconsistent (as one station's name has the definite article but not the other); however, it's not incorrect. I see your other points. – Epicgenius (talk) 02:12, 11 March 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • The construction of tunnels between this station and Raffles Place station - Similar issue to in the lead, I suggest "The construction of tunnels between City Hall and Raffles Place stations".
  • The contractor decided to proceed with the cut-and-cover method for the construction project - This can be condensed to something like "The contractor used the cut-and-cover method of construction"
  • Due to the acidity of the Singapore River, a layer of concrete was added to the concrete frame around the tunnels, with a waterproofing additive for the base slab concrete - So the concrete frame was strengthened, with this second layer being waterproofed? (Nothing wrong here, just wondering.)
  • occupy 40% of the river width - I presume this means "occupy more than 40%".
  • the work was planned to go in three stages - I'd replace "was planned to go" with "would proceed", which is less casual.
  • Immigration Department site - This being the Immigration Building? If so, I'd move the first mention of that building to here.
  • Immigration Building and the Cavenagh Bridge. These two historical sites - Are these national monuments or another heritage register? If so, that may explain the need for close monitoring.
  • I would link uncommon engineering terms such as prestressed structure and settlement (structural).
  • the columns at the entrance was underpinned - It should be "the columns were underpinned", but see below.
  • After finding some cracks on the entrance façade of the Immigration Building, the columns at the entrance were underpinned - This sentence has a dangling modifier. Either it should be active voice with a subject, e.g. "After finding some cracks on the entrance façade of the Immigration Building, contractors underpinned the columns at the entrance", or passive voice throughout, e.g. "After cracks were found on the entrance façade of the Immigration Building, the columns at the entrance were underpinned".
  • The first stage of the construction was completed in May 1985, with a delay of seven months. - Is any particular reason given for the delay?
  • restrictions on the work length - The duration of the work?
  • mix use of cut slopes - Should this be "mixed use of cut slopes"?
  • Installation of the 2nd stage cofferdam began in May and works were completed in May 1986 - I presume installation began in May 1985, so you can just say the work took 12 months.
  • Eventually declared safe for use, operations at the church resumed - This sentence includes another dangling modifier. So something like "The church was eventually declared safe for use and operations resumed..." would work.
  • Investigations revealed that it was entirely an accident, with all other safety measures observed - I think this should go after the sentence about how he didn't have a safety belt fastened.
  • to Outram Park station was officially completed - Is "officially" necessary (i.e. was there an unofficial completion)?
  • The station was part of a line service that ran continuously - Instead of "line service", you can say "route".
  • with the operational split of the MRT system - While it is good that you put an explanatory footnote there, I would condense this, e.g. "when MRT operations were split".
Station details:
– Epicgenius (talk) 02:31, 11 March 2022 (UTC)Reply

References

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References section:

  • "New names for eight stations". Singapore Monitor. 30 November 1982. - Does this have a page number?
  • Other formatting looks fine.

Bibliography:

  • Information portfolio. Singapore: Mass Rapid Transit Corporation. 1984. - Could any other information be added for this reference, e.g. an OCLC number?

Source checks forthcoming. Epicgenius (talk) 16:29, 17 March 2022 (UTC)Reply

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