Talk:Classy Christmas/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by Gen. Quon in topic Comment
GA Review
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Reviewer: Hmlarson (talk · contribs) 02:48, 30 December 2013 (UTC)
Hello, I have begun the review and will be posting feedback below. As issues are addressed, please add a note indicating your changes to the relevant item listed below. Thank you. Hmlarson (talk) 02:48, 30 December 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for jumping on this one after the other one stalled.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)
Comment
editLead
edit- "The scenes that were filmed outdoors had to be crafted to look as if it were cold; in reality, temperatures reached into 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and above." Where was it shot?
- "Despite this, the episode was the highest-rated NBC series of the night that it aired" --> change to "on the night that it aired"
Plot
edit- "leaving corporate to send" ---> consider changing corporate to "the corporate office"
- "either proposes to her" ---> remove s from propose
- "talking about her dirty toy" ---> change to "her damaged gift"
- "At the party, Jada begins to lose interest, but Pam and Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) try to find fun activities for her, but Andy ends up ruining most of them." ---> change last part of sentence to "try to find fun activities for her; however, Andy ends up ruining most of them."
- "Pam says that her husband Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) always gets her great Christmas gifts so she wants to give him one from her." --> change last part to "give him one."
- Done, and added a 'too'.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)
- "Meanwhile, Jim agrees to a snowball fight with Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), but when he is first challenged outside, he eventually finds the doors chained and Dwight emerging from a snowman, throwing multiple snowballs at him and leaving him with a bloody nose." Can you split this up into 2 sentences?
- Did one better and made it three!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:59, 30 December 2013 (UTC)
Production
edit- "her eighteenth writing on the series" ---> consider changing to "her eighteenth writing credit for the series"
- "The scenes featuring the snowmen were shot on the hottest day of the episode's shoot, with temperatures reaching above 90 degrees Fahrenheit." ---> consider adding where it is shot
Review checklist
edit- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Verified.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail: