Talk:Cleveland (30 Rock)/GA1
Latest comment: 16 years ago by 76.211.30.142 in topic GA Review
GA Review
editArticle's looking good. Here are some suggestions:
- Unbold quotes around episode title.
- It was written by one of the seasons co-executive producers, Jack Burditt and one of the seasons executive producers, Robert Carlock - write the possessive "season's" with an apostrophe in both instances here; also add a comma after "Burditt".
- Jack Donaghy's (Alec Baldwin) fiancée, Phoebe (Emily Mortimer) is keeping some deceiving secrets - add a comma after "(Mortimer)".
- Alan Garkle (Eric Dysart)--a black, wheelchair bound, affirmative-action hire--he informs Liz Lemon - use emdashes (—).
- take Phoebe and Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) on a girls-day-out - "girls' day out".
- "Avian Bone Syndrome," a symptom of which is that her purportedly brittle bones would not be able to stand such intimate contact - would it rather be a "result" than a symptom?
- to Cleveland and, from there, onto Needmore, Pennsylvania - "into"; and I'm assuming Needmore isn't a real place?
- These cast members include: Rachel Dratch - link Rachel Dratch.
- he rated the episode "9.7 out of 10." - don't need quotes here as the rating is meant to be taken out of context.
- regarding Emily Mortimer's guest appearance "Emily Mortimer [...] she's not the first thought - no need to include "Emily Mortimer [...]" at the beginning of the quote; it's established that it's regarding her and that part of the quote is broken up from the main fragment anyway. Jump straight into "she's not..."
- But here, she's obviously relishing (as Rossellini did) the chance - who is "Rossellini"?
- she "didn't find "Cleveland" nearly as funny as the super-sized "Fireworks" episode - use 'single quotation marks' for the episode names as quotes-in-a-quote.
- Image:30 Rock season 1 episode 20.png is completely unhelpful as an image - it really offers nothing to the reader (it's simply a postcard of a nondescript bridge reading "Cleveland!") and the caption, "I say, Cleveland Hello!", offers even less, it's completely irrelevant to the rest of the article. Again, there is no critical commentary accompanying this and it in no way helps the reader identify the episode (none of the characters or actual scenes are visible). Image:Phoebe (Cleveland).png is a much better image - I'd say to stick this one in the infobox (and take out the full-stop/period at the end of the caption as it's a sentence fragment) and just chuck the other image. We don't need both for "identification of the episode" and there's not significant critical commentary on either, apart from some critique of Emily Mortimer's performance.
Other than that, it's looking fine. I'll hold it for a week, so good luck :) —97198 (talk) 10:06, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
- Awesome. I'll pass it to GA. —97198 (talk) 13:42, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
Ahem... Needmore is a real place in Fulton County, Pennsylvania... my three sisters all died there...76.211.30.142 (talk) 00:40, 8 November 2008 (UTC)