Talk:Cliff Thorburn/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:57, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

Will review Thorburn's article as thanks for reviewing the 2002 Masters. MWright96 (talk) 20:57, 3 January 2021 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• The Reference in the lead after Thorburn's birth date is not needed there but in the prose
• "and winning the prestigious invitational Masters three times," - the word highlighted in bold is non-neutral
• Maybe the third and fourth paragraphs can be merged into one

All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Early life

• Any more information about his parents?

I've added a little based on Black Ball Farce & Cue Ball Wizards and a Guardian article. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

• "He left school at the age of 16," - what school did Thorburn go to?

Couldn't find this information in any of the sources. I thought it might be in one of the 1950's articles about his lacrosse career, but it wasn't as far as I could see. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

• Wikilink snooker on the first instance only

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

• "He spend time with Fred Davis and Rex Williams when they toured Canada in 1970," - typo; should be spent

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:06, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• "he reportedly made a maximum break of 147 against Fred Hardwick." - in a tournament match, exhibition match or a practice game?

The Ottawa Journal doesn't say, but I found a little article about it in Billiards and Snooker magazine for September 1970 that makes it clear it wasn't in competition. Amended the text. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:04, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

• "He won the North American championship in 1971, making six century breaks during the tournament, equalling the record for century breaks in a single tournament" - repetition of both the words "tournament" and "century breaks"

Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:06, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Early professional career

• "Thorburn played John Spencer in a series of three exhibition matches in 1971, and although he lost all three matches," - repetition of "matches"
• "and on the day he arrives," - day of his arrival,
• "losing the quarter-final 12–19 to Eddie Charlton, and, the following year, lost 14–15 to Higgins" - repetition of "losing/lost"
• Wikilink session on the first instance to the relevant snooker-related article
• "winning against Willie Thorne and Graham Miles to reach the final, where he won 8–6 against Taylor." - repetition of "win/winning"
• "Thorburn reached the final of the 1978 1978 Masters" - duplicate mention of the year "1978"

All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:08, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

1980 world snooker champion

• "then lost 3–5 to Griffiths in the Quarter-final." - the word in bold doesn't need to begin with a capital letter in this instance

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• wikilink interval to the relevant article

 Pending I couldn't find an appropriate entry in Glossary of cue sports terms, or a suitable standalone article for this. Is there any target that you can suggest please? BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• "with Higgins taking the following to the make it 11–11." - following two to level at 11–11.

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• "before Higgins squared the match at 15–15." - equalised at 15–15.

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• "and made a 51 break after than to win the title." - typo; should be that

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• "Thorburn is generally regarded as the first player from outside Britain to win the world championship, with Horace Lindrum's win in the match 1952 World Snooker Championship usually being disregarded." - repetition of "win"

Done. Also removed stray "match." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• What's the reason given for Lindrum's 1952 world championship victory being disregarded?

I've added a footnote to attempt to address this. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:16, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

• "Thorburn decided to move back to Canada." - return

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:02, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

1983 world championship maximum break

• Wikilink table to billiards table
• "with Thorburn emerging as the winner,13–12." - needs to be a space between the comma and the number "13"
• "on the day that he made his maximum break." - how about on the day of his maximum break.

All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:13, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

1984 to 1989

• " where he met Thorne, with Thorne winning five frames in a row after the pair had been tied at 8–8." - repetition of "Thorne"

Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• "to win 13–8." - think there are several words missing from this sentence

Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• Wikilink penalty points to the relevant article on the first instance only

Linked to "foul" in cuegloss. Let me know if there is a better target. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• Think the second and third paragraphs should be merged together

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• "In 1988 Thorburn was fined £10,000 and two ranking points," - think there's a word missing to introduce the loss of two ranking points

Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

• The fourth and fifth paragraphs I believe should be merged together

Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:16, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Later years

• "In 2010, Thorburn returned to the UK to compete on the Snooker Legends Tour where he faced Alex Higgins, Jimmy White and John Parrott." - sentence is lacking a reliable source to verify that it's correct

Reworded and added a source. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 20:31, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

• You can mention that he is an 1995 inductee of the BC Sports Hall of Fame with the appropriate reference

Added. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 00:06, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

Performance and rankings timeline

• There needs to be some text above the table so that the reference is not a floating one

Removed floating ref. Refs pending for New Zealand Masters, Pot Black (most years), and 2 x Canadian Professional Championship. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:24, 4 January 2021 (UTC) Added refs for previously-unsourced results. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:00, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Ranking finals: 10 (2 titles, 8 runners-up)

• Same issue as the one in the above sub-section

Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:28, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Notes

• All four notes need to be cited to reliable sources

Added. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:58, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

References

• The authors can be linked where appropriate with the authorlink= field in the relevant references
• Reference 26 "Embassy world professional championship" is lacking the page numbers
• It should be stated in Reference 39 "Assetereum Masters Seniors Championship 2018" that is source is from YouTube through the via= field
• The page numbers for Reference 42 "A Billiards and Snooker Compendium" need to be spaced out
• Reference 54 "Other National Professional Championships – Canadian Professional Championship" is missing the accessdate

All addressed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:54, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Shall put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 13:11, 4 January 2021 (UTC)

Many thanks for the thorough and constructive review, MWright96. Apologies for the silly errors that I'd left in. Let me know what else is required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 01:18, 5 January 2021 (UTC)

@BennyOnTheLoose: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 08:56, 5 January 2021 (UTC)