Talk:Closing Time (Doctor Who)/GA1
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Gen. Quon in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 03:35, 12 August 2012 (UTC)
- Plot: "He stops by Craig ("The Lodger"), finding he is living with his girlfriend Sophie, has moved into a new home, and is now raising their baby, Alfie." -> "He stops by Craig ("The Lodger"), who is living with his girlfriend Sophie, and finds that he has moved into a new home and is now raising a baby, Alfie."
- Changed this to "He stops by Craig ("The Lodger"), who is living with his girlfriend Sophie in a new home and is raising their baby, Alfie." Just a little more fluent. Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
- Plot: "As the Doctor leaves, he notices…" Is the 'he' the Doctor, or Craig? Just wanted to check..
- The Doctor. He's the subject of the sentence. I made it more clear anyway. Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
- Plot: "Craig, while at a new department store with Alfie, discovers the Doctor working in the toy department." 'Department' is used twice in a sentence, maybe change the second one to "section"
- Changed it to "toy area". Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
- Plot: "but the Doctor manages to reverse the teleporter and disables it." -> "but the Doctor manages to reverse the teleporter and disable it." or "but the Doctor manages to reverse the teleporter and he disables it."
- Did the former Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
- Filming: "the couple who owned the house allowed it so it would be an experience for their two young boys." -> "the couple who owned the house allowed filming to take place in order for it to be an experience for their two young boys."
- Critical Reception: Maybe its a personal choice, but I like to have refs at the end of every direct quote, but it is up to you.
- Oh, what the heck... Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
- Critical Reception: "Smith and Cordon’'s Laurel and Hardy double act" There's a double ' in here
- Yeah, I think I tried replaced the styled ’ with a straight one and didn't delete the other. Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
- Reception: Change B+ to "B+"
- References: Ref 7 should use an endash, not an emdash
- I think I fixed it. Honestly, I don't know much about dashes; I just use Advisor.js to detect and fix them. Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
That's really all I can find. Good work; on hold.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 16:12, 13 August 2012 (UTC)
- I believe everything is fixed! Thanks for the review. Now, to tackle that finale...so much continuity... Glimmer721 talk 01:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)
- Everything looks good, I will pass this. Good luck with the finale! I finally got the third series, and it has "Blink" commentary track, so I will try to work on that in the next few days.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:06, 14 August 2012 (UTC)