Talk:Club Rocker/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Aoba47 in topic GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 17:32, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 17:32, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- Lead and infobox
- For this part ("Club Rocker" has been described as techno–influenced electropop song), I would clarify who is describing the song in this way.
Not done I'm hesitant about including that in the lead as I think it is really not a critical point here. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- The information will still need to be attributed as you are saying that someone is describing the song in this manner. If you do not want to add attribution here, then just say ("Club Rocker" is a techno-influenced electropo song). Either way, it will need to be changed before I can pass it. Aoba47 (talk) 00:08, 4 January 2018 (UTC)
- For this part (The recording samples "Bass Atitude" by Seight.), I would add a short descriptive phrase in front of “Seight” and the year in which the song was released.
- I would rephrase the following sentence (The clip portrays Inna at an auto service center and taking part in a rally race) to (In the clip, Inna takes part in a rally race at an auto service center.)
- Not done Rephrasing the sentence like this would be wrong, as Inna did not take part in a rally race in the center. Those are two different occurrences.Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- Understandable. Aoba47 (talk) 00:08, 4 January 2018 (UTC)
- Background and composition
- I would add a short descriptive phrase in front of “Seight” and the year in which “Bass Attitude” was released.
- For this part (Sililarly, Jérémy B. of French website Melty wrote: "Definitely a sound for clubs […].”), I think you mean “Similarly” instead of “Siliarly”.
- Critical reception
- Great work with this section. I could not find any issues.
- Thank you very much! Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- Controversy
- I would recommend moving this section up after the “Background and composition” section as it is more tied to the information on the song’s composition if that makes any sense. Something about the placement of the section in this article seems a little awkward to me, particularly splitting up the “Critical reception” and “Commercial performance” sections.
- For this part (of "stealing" the key accords of his song), I would paraphrase the quote in your own words.
- For this part (his song "A Minute of Life”), please add the year in which the song was released.
- For this part (affected her image), I would clarify “image” as “public image”.
- This is more of a clarification question, but do we know the results/verdict of the lawsuit?
- We don't know anything about that. I assume it was dimissed long time ago, but no publication wrote about that. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- Commercial performance
- Great work with this section; I could not find anything to improve here.
- Music video
- For the image caption, I would change “the package of I Am the Club Rocker” to “the packaging for I Am the Club Rocker”.
- For this sentence ( One of the submitters was Romanian socialite and model Natalia Mateuţ, who however withdrew after learning that she would have had to appear summary dressed), I do not know what you mean by “summary dressed”. After looking through the source, I would suggest changing that part to “barely dressed” or “provocatively dressed”.
- I would change this sentence (The video opens with what appears to be a few women fixing a car in an auto service center.) to (The video opens with women fixing a car in auto service center.) the “what appears to be a few” is not necessary.
Done I kept the "an" in "auto service center" though. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- Live performances
- Great job with this section!
- Thank you very much for this comment! Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- Track listings
- Do you have a reference for all of these remixes and edits?
- The "Track listing" section is a sum up of all different versions found in the "Release history" track. Since there is a note up there, I think it would irrelevant to add all refs from "Release history". Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- Final comments
- Wonderful work with this article! I will pass this once everything has been addressed. I will get to my reviews for your other GANs later in the week. I am slowly trying to be less obsessive with Wikipedia to get to my off-Wikipedia projects lol. Aoba47 (talk) 20:12, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Hi! Thanks again for reviewing! I believe I solved your concerns. I don't want you to feel like you must review my articles, I just assumed you would have time. I am also in holidays now until Monday, so I have more time than (I thought) you have. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:59, 3 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Cartoon network freak: Thank you for responding to my comments. Once my above response is addressed, then this is ready for promotion. And don't worry about it. I picked up a few of them, and I will get to them at my own pace over the next week. I am going to take a short break from doing GAN reviews in the future, just so you know. I will primarily focus on my own GAN projects and FAC projects for some time. Hope you are doing well. 00:12, 4 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: I fixed it! Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:15, 4 January 2018 (UTC)
- Verdict
- Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 17:56, 4 January 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.