Talk:Connor Maloney

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Connor Maloney/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 16:38, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

I'll have a look at this one, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 16:38, 5 January 2019 (UTC)

Initial review

Infobox

• What's the source for his full name and height?

 Done, full name from his Penn State profile and height from his MLS profile.

• Judging by the text, his loan spell with Pittsburgh was broken up by a lengthy spell back at Columbus so should this not be displayed as separate loan spells?

 Done. The club name did change in between his two loan spells, if you think that should be different just let me know. I also adjusted the related subhead slightly ("Loan" to "Loans").

No worries, happy with the alterations. Kosack (talk) 10:43, 7 January 2019 (UTC)

Lead

• "while playing soccer and football", should that be American football to avoid any confusion? I notice American football is used in the early life section, even linking football to American football would help I think.

 Done. Added link to avoid confusion.

• Link Penn State and Nittany Lions.

 Done, linked Penn State to the university and Nittany Lions to the men's soccer team.

• "earning a nod", does this mean he was nominated for the award? Comes across a bit informal, I would switch to was nominated for the... or something similar.

 Done, changed to "being named as". I also changed the tense of the entire sentence a slight bit, might want to double check that it still sounds correct.

Early life

• "scoring 45 goals with nine hat tricks", I think this could do with rewording slightly, the current wording makes it sound a bit like the nine hat-tricks would make 45. Perhaps "goals, including nine hat-tricks" or something similar?

 Done, changed to "45 goals, including nine hat tricks."

• Link hat-trick.

 Done, see above.

• On a side note, I notice our hat-trick article uses the hyphen for association football. Is it commonly used with or without in American soccer?

In American soccer, the common use is "hat trick", without a hyphen (see this article for a quick example.) I've set the link like that, but I'd have no issue adding the hyphen back in.

That's fine, just wanted to check it wasn't a typo. Kosack (talk) 10:43, 7 January 2019 (UTC)

• "debatably setting a state record by scoring 328 points", why was it debatably a record? The source doesn't seem to place any questions over it.

In 2017, a kid claimed the record with 320 points (although Wikipedia isn't a source, that is the record we list at PIAA football records#Career Kicking Points.) I couldn't find a source from the state to clarify which one actually holds the record, so I left in the "debatably" for the time being – I'm open to any advice in addressing this.

Hmmm, that is very strange. I'm finding sources that support either player so I'm a little confused about what's going on here. I've left a message on the records talk page in the hope of a response. I would suggest using a note, in the style of those used at Fred Colling for example, to say "some sources attribute Connor Raupach with the record with 320 points (+ source)" or along those lines. Just to clarify for any readers. Kosack (talk) 10:43, 7 January 2019 (UTC)

 Done, added and sourced a note.

College and amateur

• "Maloney responded by leading the team in shots, shots on goal, points, and goals", what's points?

 Done, removed for simplicity. It's simply goals plus assists, but it's a statistic that rarely appears outside of the United States.

• "He finished his Penn State career with 27 goals from 75 appearances", the section ends with this unsourced sentence. Is there a general ref that can be added just to confirm the fact?

 Done, also sourced through his Penn State profile.

Reading United

• The ref in this section doesn't appear to support the number of appearances or his minutes played.

 Done, added another reference to support the appearances and minutes.

Columbus Crew SC

• Outside back is an unusual term for the position, I'd suggest linking to the appropriate position page.

 Done, linked to Defender (association football)#Full-back.

• "Maloney would play just one more time on the season", should that be in the season? On the season sounds a bit odd.

 Done, changed to "one more time during the season".

• "cracking the Columbus bench", sounds a bit journalistic. "Was named on" or "appeared on" would seem more appropriate.

 Done and thanks for the catch, that's the journalism student in me coming out. Changed to "being named to the Columbus bench".

Loan to Pittsburgh

• Last sentence is unsourced.

 Done, added reference for Nashville game.

References

• Per WP:ALLCAPS, writing in all capitals should be avoided, even if the ref title uses them. Refs 7, 8, 9, 10, 26 and 28 are all affected.

 Done, due to above adjustments the ref numbers have now changed but I believe I've adjusted everything accordingly.

• Other than that, refs all appear to be working and formatted correctly.

External links

• Soccerway is used as an inline citation so there's no need to list it here.

 Done, removed.

A nice article with nothing major to worry about, just a few tweaks here and there. If there are any obvious things I'm questioning with relation to the American English/English divide, let me know. Placed on hold for now. Kosack (talk) 09:53, 6 January 2019 (UTC)

Just one or two minor things that I've questioned in the Early life section, but otherwise I think I've addressed all the other concerns. Let me know if there's any issues with my fixes, otherwise thanks for the review. 21.colinthompson (talk) 18:26, 6 January 2019 (UTC)

@21.colinthompson: Nice work, I've added a few responses and one further query relating to his kicking record. Let me know what you think about it and we'll probably be done here once that's cleared up. Kosack (talk) 10:43, 7 January 2019 (UTC)

@Kosack: I added the note, which I think was all that was outstanding on the article. As long as the wording of it works for you, I think we've finished everything up. 21.colinthompson (talk) 17:04, 7 January 2019 (UTC)

I'm happy that this article meets the required GA criteria, copyvio check scores a little higher but there's a sizable quote that largely accounts for that. Promoting. Kosack (talk) 19:56, 7 January 2019 (UTC)