Talk:Constans II (son of Constantine III)/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Iazyges in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 18:29, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
Will take this on. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 18:29, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
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Criteria
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GA Criteria:
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- No DAB links
- No dead links
- No missing citations
- Passes spot checks
Discussion
editProse Suggestions
editPlease note that almost all of these are suggestions, and can be implemented or ignored at your discretion. Any changes I deem necessary for the article to pass GA standards I will bold.
Lede
edit- The splitting of the lede seems slightly awkward, with the short first para and long second one; suggest either merging or re-allocating to make it either one big para or two medium-sized ones.
- Done. (One bigger one.)
- Made some copyedits, feel free to revert them.
Prelude
edit- was a common soldier[note 2] suggest bringing the note into prose as was a common soldier, rather than an officer,
- It comes across really odd sounding to me. If you don't like the footnote, I could bracket it off?
- It just seems odd to me to have a footnote so short, when it could easily be prose instead. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 22:34, 5 February 2023 (UTC)
- It comes across really odd sounding to me. If you don't like the footnote, I could bracket it off?
Caesar
edit- Little is known of Constans prior to his father being declared emperor. Constantine's oldest son was a monk at the time his father rebelled I think Constans is not introduced enough for a reader to understand that Constantine's oldest son is the same person as Constans; indeed this confused me for a second. Perhaps Little is known of Constans, the eldest son of Constantine, prior to his father being declared emperor. Constans was a monk at the time of the rebellion...
- Absolutely. *Smacks head* Thank you.
- and appointing Apollinaris as praetorian prefect, or chief minister phrasing might come off as him holding one of two positions, suggest and appointing Apollinaris as praetorian prefect (chief minister) to clarify that this a gloss.
- Ha, ha! See my Glycerius review. I have gone with "appointing Apollinaris as chief minister (with the title of praetorian prefect)."
- rebelled and overthrew the new regime on first read this seemed to be in support of Constantine, perhaps an appendage of rebelled and overthrew the new regime of Constantine in Hispania; the in Hispania part is very optional, but I think it helps to clarify that they overturned his rule in Hispania, but not everywhere.
- Fair point. Rewritten.
- Didymus and Verinianus went with him and were executed there as civilian rebels went with him seems rather more willing than I'm sure they were, perhaps Didymus and Verinianus were taken with him and were executed there as civilian rebels
- Hmm. I meant "went with him" as spare robe went with him, and as cousins to the reigning emperor they may well have had very decent treatment. How would you feel about "accompanied him"?
- Works well enough for me. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 22:35, 5 February 2023 (UTC)
- Hmm. I meant "went with him" as spare robe went with him, and as cousins to the reigning emperor they may well have had very decent treatment. How would you feel about "accompanied him"?
- @Gog the Mild: That is all of my suggestions, passing now. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 21:18, 5 February 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for that Iazyges, much appreciated. Responses to your comments are above. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:32, 5 February 2023 (UTC)