Talk:Croatian Peasant Party during World War II/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 18:37, 5 April 2021 (UTC)

Happy to review the article.

Criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Comments

Lead section

• The link to armed resistance doesn’t lead where you would expect it to.
  • Yugoslav Partisans were the armed resistance in Yugoslavia in the period. If you prefer, I can remove this (and similar links).--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:21, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

I think it simply needs to be clearer at this point in the text that the armed resistance were the Partisans. AM

Reworded - please check again. In the process, I linked Yugoslav Partisans too.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:47, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

• NDH needs to be spelt out in full, just as was done with the HSS.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:22, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• and join the Partisans – it needs to be clearer who the Partisans were.
  • I believe recent clarifications per above have also addressed this - could you please recheck?--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:14, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Link Communist (Communism) (in Communist regime); Partisans (Yugoslav Partisans).
  • Linked--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:55, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

 Partly done AM

Yugoslav Partisans have been linked already pe above.--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:14, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:23, 16 April 2021 (UTC)

1 Background

• to protect Croats – remove the link to Croats (all duplicated links are usually removed).
  • Removed (and all other duplicate links too)--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:25, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• to HSS's opposition – amend to ‘ to the party’s opposition’. (to avoid repetition of ‘HSS).
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:26, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

2 Invasion of Yugoslavia

• Remove links to Croats; German plans for the breakup of Yugoslavia (they are duplicated).
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:26, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• I have produced this new version of the map for the article, which I would consider using.
  • I think both versions are good. Swapped to see how this one works - maybe it will be better as a vector map.--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:29, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• joined the Axis Tripartite Pact – can you provide the date(s)?
  • Those were all from September 1940 to January 1941. Do you think this information would be helpful to readers? I suppose it would not be difficult to source those dates, I just never thought exact dates significant.--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:23, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Added dates and a source to back them up.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:59, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Amend Only two days later to ‘Two days later’.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:33, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Delete links to Bulgaria, Hungary, and Romania (MOS:OL).
  • None of the links are to the present-day country articles. I think the MOS:OL does not apply to these. For example FA Operation Retribution (1941) also links to the Kingdom of Bulgaria, and I assume it would have been noticed as contrary to MOS either at FAC or before it became TFA.--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:40, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Understood, but it's only fair to readers that the links go where they might expect them to, so I would make it clearer in the text that the countries are not the current states. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:53, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

This exact same formula is used in the FA. I feel adding "Kingdom" in front of each link will not be helpful at all and will only create clutter. Then again, if you insist...--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:56, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

No, we can leave it be. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:18, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

• who pulled Yugoslavia out of the Tripartite Pact – consider replacing ‘pulled out’ e.g. with ‘and Yugoslavia withdrew from the Tripartite Pact’ (which is less idiomatic).
  • Done something similar, please check.--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:42, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Amend to include police to ‘to include the police’. (I write in British English, so please ignore this if you don’t.)
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:43, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Link Axis powers in the image caption.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Who was Slavko Kvaternik?
  • He was a former Austro-Hungarian Army officer, and obviously was a supporter of Ustaše (later a government minister etc.). He had no formal position at the time of the declaration, so it is hard to pin a specific short label. I added a bit on his being a former army officer, but I'm unsure this helps at all. Any suggestion?--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:57, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

'Slavko Kvaternik, a founding member of Ustaše,'? Amitchell125 (talk) 18:21, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Scanned the entire Tomasevich, Calic and The Oxford Handbook of European History and all I could get from them was that he was the most prominent member of the movement and leader of the movement in the country (Yugoslavia or Croatia depending on point of view, but makes no difference for this purpose). The wiki article on him indeed says he was a founding member (and it is quite possible he was one), but offers no sources to back the claim up and Tomasevich does not confirm it. Instead I wrote what he says about Kvaternik - that he was the leader of the Ustaše movement in the country (retaining the potentially ambiguous formulation "the country") and I have expanded the corresponding reference page range to encompass pages 48 and 53 where those claims exist. I'll have a look at other sources too and include the founding info if I find it.--Tomobe03 (talk) 22:14, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Thanks, what's there now is fine, anything else would be good too, but it's perhaps not essential to include it. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:15, 18 April 2021 (UTC)

• Imo is devastated should read ‘would be devastated’,
  • Changed as suggested--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:47, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Is Furthermore necessary? (see MOS:EDITORIAL)
  • It's not. Removed--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:48, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Add a comma after between major powers.
  • Added--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:50, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Link estate (Estate (land)).
  • Linked--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:51, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Consider clarifying Macedonia, perhaps using the title of the linked article (Vardar Macedonia), as the place name has multiple meanings.
  • Clarified as suggested--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:52, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Who was Josip Broz Tito?
  • I believe this is addressed in the "armed resistance" which says "KPJ proceeded to organise the Yugoslav Partisans, as resistance fighters led by Josip Broz Tito." The lede also notes Tito as KPJ leader and the partisan leader. Should there be something more added?--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:59, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

No, the text is fine. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:22, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

3 Fracturing of the party

• Delete Yugoslav cabinet (duplicated link).
  • Delinked--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:55, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Consider reducing the number of times that Maček is mentioned by name in the second paragraph; there are 9 instances of Ustaše in the second paragraph, I would reduce the number if possible.
  • Removed a few--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• declaring Yugoslavia dead ‘ is idiomatic (MOS:IDIOM and should be rewritten.
  • Revised, please check--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:03, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Consider amending (Croatian Parliament) to ‘(the Croatian Parliament)’.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 15:57, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Amend Thirty-nine of them sent a letter to ‘A letter was sent by 39 of them’ (to ensure consistency in the way larger numbers are written).
  • Wanted to avoid number at the beginning of the sentence per MOS:NUMNOTES. Reworded - please check--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:07, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Magovac was disappointed by the HSS' lack of resistance, even if only nonviolent, in light of NDH atrocities, and by the HSS faction supporting the NDH. Consider amending to something like ‘Magovac was disappointed by the HSS faction that supported the NDH, as well as party’s' lack of even non-violent resistance in light of atrocities committed by the NDH.’.
  • Done.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:09, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Imo several in with several HSS leaders is redundant.
  • Removed--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:10, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• moved to the - ‘ moved to’?
  • Done.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:11, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Consider amending Hebrang believed, correctly, that to ‘ Hebrang correctly believed that’ (if only to remove the commas).
  • Amended as suggested--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:12, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• The second paragraph is rather long, I would remove the italics, as suggested by the copy editor.
  • Removed--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:15, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Should there be another dash just before and reformed?
  • Not sure, wouldn't it make the part following the dash a conclusion of the preceding part?--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:14, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

4 Scheme to seize power

• Amend the link to Adriatic coast to only link ‘Adriatic’.
• Amend Treaties of Rome to ‘1941 Treaties of Rome’.
  • Done both of the above--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:17, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Who was Josip Torbar?
  • At this point, he fairly irrelevant and could be dropped from the article (just a HSS member and a Košutić's associate). On the other hand, he much later became the president of the HSS, so .... I don't know what to do. Suggestions?--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:12, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

I would drop him, as according to this from the Croatian Wikipedia, it seems that it was his son who became president. Amitchell125 (talk) 17:49, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 21:52, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

• Who was Tomo Jančiković?
  • Former HSS MP and Yugoslav National Bank governor who was a close associate of Maček - added a brief explanation, so please check--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:05, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Sorry, can't find it. AM

My bad. AM

• drawing the ire is idiomatic, and so needs to be replaced.
  • Reworded, please check--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:18, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Imo in the second half of 1942 sounds better placed after ‘Allied landings’.
  • Amended as suggested--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:19, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• reached Allies – ‘reached the Allies’.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:20, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Add commas after prison camp in Bari; travel to London.
  • Added--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:21, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Unlink Egypt; Switzerland.
  • Delinked Switzerland. For Egypt, I'll apply whatever is worked out above for Romania/Bulgaria/Hungary--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:23, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

 Partly done AM

• no effect on the allied - ‘no effect on the Allied’?
  • Fixed--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:24, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Consider linking Ivan Šubašić and King Peter II in the caption. Also, the caption in this case does not have a full stop.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:26, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Churchill should be introduced and have his full name and the link to his article.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:28, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Unlink Belgrade (MOS:OL).
  • Unlinked--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:29, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• joined the conspiracy – I'm a bit confused, what conspiracy is being referred to here?
  • There's no mention of any conspiracy in the article. Could you please clarify?--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:30, 17 April 2021 (UTC) Looked at a wrong thing. Sorry--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:32, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Clarified - it was the HSS-devised plot to switch sides in the war. Please check--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:21, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

No, I can't see your clarification. AM

Found. AM

More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:01, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

5 Aftermath

• Amend of People's Front of Yugoslavia to ‘of the People's Front of Yugoslavia'.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:34, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Who was Stjepan Pezelj?
  • Krnjević's secretary - added explanation--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:09, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• allowed to operate - ‘allowed to coexist’ sounds better imo.
  • Modified as suggested--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:35, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Amend eleven to ‘11’ (as ‘28 ‘ occurs earlier).
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:36, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• only six of the eleven - ‘only six of them’.
  • Done--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:37, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• and Šubašić suffered a stroke needs to be preceded by a comma or a colon to help the sentence make better sense.
  • Comma added--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:38, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
• Marija Radić's bookshop was bombed – any more details available (the perpetrators, whether bombed from above or destroyed with explosives inside)?
  • Sorry I missed this one. The source just says "bombed". I assume it was an explosive device and not an aircraft bomb since it was peacetime and the centre of Zagreb, but no info on perpetrators is available (likely nobody investigated given circumstances) and no specific info if the explosion occurred outside or inside or on the exact type of the bomb. Any suggestions how to proceed?--Tomobe03 (talk) 21:49, 17 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Apologies, was looking at a wrong Radelić article. The one referred to inline says an "explosive device or a bomb" exploded in front of the bookshop. An investigation was started but produced no results except that the police interviewed the editor of the newspaper. I edited the passage to reflect the source more closely.--Tomobe03 (talk) 23:12, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

7 References

• The links to Calic and Vuksic should be removed, as they provide little extra information.
  • Which links are you referring to? If you mean the url parameters in the cite book template, I believe those are meant for easier verification.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:41, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Sorry I didn't make myself clear, I meant the links to the Google Books, which have no previews. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:32, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Oh, ok - I assumed the url is always included. Removed now.--Tomobe03 (talk) 21:47, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

• There is no need to include Hungary, Croatia or UK within the sources (USA is not mentioned already).
  • Removed.--Tomobe03 (talk) 16:44, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

On hold

I'm placing the article on hold until 25 April to allow time for you to address the comments in the review. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:19, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Thank you for thorough review. I believe I have addressed most of your concerns above. I have requested clarifications on others, so I'll resume take this up again when I get more feedback. Cheers--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:25, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Still some issues to address, thanks for your work so far. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:08, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

Did some more work. If I'm not missing anything, I think the description of Kvaternik and Radić bookshop bombing remain to be resolved. Please correct me if I'm overlooking something.--Tomobe03 (talk) 23:02, 17 April 2021 (UTC)

All good

Passing the article now, great work. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:29, 18 April 2021 (UTC)

Thank you for your time taken to reveiw this article. I believe its quality has improved as a result.--Tomobe03 (talk) 08:44, 18 April 2021 (UTC)