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Talk:Danielle Rousseau/GA1

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Latest comment: 15 years ago by Sgeureka in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 15 years ago12 comments2 people in discussion

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My GA review per WP:GA?:

  • Image FUR checks out, although I encourage the use of the {{Non-free use rationale}} since it's machine-readable
  • No obvious MOS issues
  • Sourcing and sources are okay
  • Neutrality is fine
  • Article is broad in coverage, stable and neutral

No truly GAN-fail-worthy prose issues, but I hope you'll find my notes below helpful for improving the article, especially if you want to take it to FAC someday.

  • No ref needed in the lead necessary
  • "The character [...] was introduced" -> "The character [...] is introduced"
  • "Rousseau was a member of a French research vessel..." - make clear now that this happened 16 years before the events of the first season, not a few sentences afterwards
  • "The reunion is short-lived; Rousseau is shot and killed by a band of mercenaries." - say it's in the middle of season 4
  • "Prior to the crash" section - mention right in the beginning that Rousseau was pregnant (and advanced in pregnancy)
  • "Prior to the crash" section - Rousseau is nuts, so maybe some of the sentences should say that this is all "according to Rousseau"
  • "survivors, and tortures him" - start a new sentence right after the comma
  • "She makes her next appearance in "Numbers"" -> "Rousseau makes her next appearance in "Numbers"" to avoid confusion with Claire from the previous sentence
  • all the number talk in the "After the crash" section seems mostly superfluous and almost random, and I'd personally cut it as the numbers are Hurley's story
  • "She steals Claire's baby..." - should mention that Claire had given birth before, and also that the baby is a boy (or Aaron) to make sense of the information afterwards
  • I'd trim the information about Rousseau finding and shooting Ben in season 2, as it seems so random when taken out of context (it's Ben's story)
  • "On their way, she and Karl are shot" - replace "she" with "Rousseau" to avoid confusion with Alex
  • "Official Lost Podcasts" -> maybe "official Lost podcasts"
  • link Carlton Cuse, and unlink him later
  • The quote "How can you ever be prepared for that moment?" doesn't flow, so if you can paraphrase it, great.
  • check the paragraph "Rousseau is named after..." for switches between simple past and simple present. Better always go with simple past, as you never know when actors change their opinions about plot interpretations (especially on Lost)
  • "Furlan asked for her character to be written out..." - when did she ask?
  • link Writer's Strike
  • the Development section doesn't really need to delve into plot retelling like "Rousseau has the opportunity to meet her daughter but chooses not to" and "Rousseau is killed by mercenaries from the freighter in season four episode "Meet Kevin Johnson"" - that's what the plot section just did. Such information works better as a very short segment of a real-world sentence for context
  • ""there will still still [sic] be flashbacks" - would read more fluent and nicer if you replaced it with ""there will still [...] be flashbacks" or ""there will still ... be flashbacks"
  • "With this new storytelling structure, the backstory of Rousseau will be further revealed,[21] but not through flashbacks.[22]" seems redundant to the previous two sentences
  • "In her first appearance, Danielle Rousseau (Mira Furlan) appears to be..." - A good rule of thumb I once heard is that you should never cite more than three consecutive sentences. This is four sentences, and I think the reception section would benefit from breaking up this quote.
  • "Rousseau's death in "Meet Kevin Johnson" was heavily discussed among critics." - I remember that it wasn't clear for weeks if Rousseau had really died, so I'd rephrase this sentence to make clear that at the time of the reviews, this wasn't clear either

I'll put the article on hold for the next seven days. Please address the prose issues as you see fit (I won't fail this GAN if some points get ignored), and leave a quick note here so that I know when to promote. – sgeureka t•c 02:03, 29 December 2008 (UTC)Reply

Thank you so much for the review, I hope it wasn't too much of a hassle. I have addressed most of your concerns, but I'll reply under each point for clarity if I haven't changed anything. Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 04:37, 29 December 2008 (UTC)Reply
If I regarded doing GA reviews as a hassle, I shouldn't be doing them. :-) Everything seems to be good now, but there is one more thing that I completely missed by accident, and that should absolutely be addressed before I promote: The information from the call sheet can't be used per long-standing agreement of the Lost wikiproject that DarkUFO is not a reliable source (I know, he probably has more of a clue about Lost spoilers than Ausiello&Co, but that doesn't make him and his obscure contacts wiki-reliable). Per google, it seems none of the celeb spoiler guys have picked up on the leaked call sheet (too bad), so would you be willing to remove the info until either the press release confirms it or until the ep airs? – sgeureka t•c 11:17, 29 December 2008 (UTC)Reply
I was wondering why you didn't take issue with it. :P Anyways, I hid the line so it can be used when a better ref can be found, and I also linked strike again, per your reasoning. Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 13:36, 29 December 2008 (UTC)Reply
Puh, resolved without drama. :-) Promoted. – sgeureka t•c 14:35, 29 December 2008 (UTC)Reply

Claire and Danielle: Soul(less) Sistahs

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Just making verby on something that I'm sure virtually everyone has noticed, but not commented on. Claire Littleton seems to have ben made to substitute for the deceased Danielle Rousseauwas, as the WILD WOMAN of the island. Claire was manipulated and later driven insane (really l-o-o-n-y) by the "Man in Black"; The "Smoke Monster", otherwise revealed as the 'dead' "Christain Sheppard". This is-to say the least-most intriguing, as when "Smokey" attacked Danielle's crew and grusomely killed and then "posessed" her ppl, she went slowly insane.(Smokey didn't kill the young Danielle though it had leisurely opportunity.) The last straw that sent her over the edge was Ben Linus's abduction of her baby daughter. That in itself is a mystery. We know that Ben was ordered to kill the child on orders of Charles Widdmore. Now, here's the mystery: Did Widdmore order Ben to kill the baby on orders of Jacob? Was it Widdmore's own descision, or was Widdmore in league with Jacob, or "Smokey", perhaps in one of his many guises??? And further, though the island seems to have some prohibition against birthed children on its real-estate (the exceptions beng ETHAN ROM and the child saved with Juliet Burke's "miracle" cure, Danielle's baby survives and grows. (How was this possible?)

Again, Rousseau was driven insane by "Smokey", but there is no indication that she ever made further contact with the entity in the years since. Upon her and her daughter's murder, shortly afterwards, "Smokey"-using his "Christrian S." guise-lures Claire away, abandoning her baby, Aaron. Now, this demands explaination, even in the wildcard "logic" of the series. In speaking of "wildcards", did the island always have a crazy wild-woman, even before Rousseau? If it had, then this means that there has always been a purpose for her in configuration to the Jacob\"Smokey" mix. Or, as we who are more rational would surmise, the writers and producers overlooked this fact. It would be in keeping with the Jules Verne novel, "The Castaways". One of the protagonists was a pirate, driven to wildness and insanity, latter playing a pivotal role in the escue of the castaways.

The question still begs, what is the purpose of the wild woman (whether Claire, or Danielle)and what is she to the two "masters" of the island? Were both women used as a raging, one-woman guerilla strike-force to constantly harrass and keep in check the "Others", as both have done? (A "control" element, perhaps?) This sounds insane as both "Smokey" and Jacob commissioned the Others as on-the-ground protectors of the island. Were both pawns of Jacob AND "Smokey" in their eternal tug-of-war for dominance? Or, is the wild-woman (either of them)like Hugo, who is somewhat alleged to be insane, given the peculiar grace to see and communicate with Jacob, and altenately with the monster, especially when the latter is in a more quiesent, non-murderous state? Veryverser 02:11, 31 March 2010 (UTC)Veryverser

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