Talk:Daruvar Agreement/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by Khanate General in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Khanate General (talk · contribs) 21:36, 15 December 2013 (UTC)Reply

General

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  • No disambiguation links.
  • No neutrality issues.
  • Copyright tags for the pictures look fine.
  • No missing in-line citations.
  • No original research.
  • Article is stable.
  • "the Sector West" Remove the "the". Proper names only need definite articles if it's a shorthand like "the Amazon", if it contains nouns that are normally common nouns like "the United Sates", or if there's a tradition of using it like "the Ukraine". That's not the case for Sector West. This is also proven by a search on GBooks.
  • The lead should sum up more of the aftermath, including what happened with Fischer.

Background

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  • "As a consequence of organisational problems and breaches of ceasefire the UNPROFOR, did not start to deploy until 8 March." Comma should be before "UNPROFOR". Unless there's a verb miss between "ceasefire" and "the"?
  • "a diplomatic recognition" Remove the "a". "Diplomatic recognition" is not countable.
  • "A part of the western Slavonia" Remove the "the".
  • "A part of the western Slavonia, encompassing an area extending approximately 90 by 45 km was designated as the UNPA of Western Slavonia" In the sentence, "encompassing an area extending approximately" is a paranthetical phrase, so there should be a comma after "km".
  • "—approximately a third of the UNPA located in the south," When enclosing a parenthetical phrase with an emdash, the emdash needs to be on both ends. The comma should be replaced with the emdash, or vice versa.

Cooperation schemes

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  • "unaccessible" is misspelled.
  • "Sector west suffered from severe shortage of fuel" Proper name. West should be capitalized.
  • "to propose a degree of cooperation between local authorities on either side in the area" Wouldn't an agreement by definition require the participation of both sides? Replace "either" with "both"?
  • "RSK-held part o the Sector West" Replace "o" with "of".
  • "a wider support for the cooperation". Remove the "a", support is not countable.

Aftermath

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Thank you for your time and effort. I believe I have addressed all the issues you raised above except the two marked separately requesting your feedback. Cheers--Tomobe03 (talk) 10:58, 20 December 2013 (UTC)Reply