Talk:Death and state funeral of Raúl Alfonsín/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 18:38, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Hi. I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this nomination.  — Calvin999 19:42, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• was the president of Argentina from → presumably he's not the only president of Argentina?
• He died on March 31, 2009, → Just checking, does Argentina use American date formatting?
• at the age of 82. → aged 82.
• a big candlelight vigil took place in the vicinity of it. → There's something about this which reads a bit informal and not very encyclopaedic.
• the most important politicians → Same as before. I suggest 'senior politicians'
• people from other countries also voiced their respect for him. → Such as?
• where he was left. → where he was left?! I doubt he was just left there.
• You link lung cancer in Health and death, but not in the lead?
• a number of turnings for the worse, → Too informal
• The president Cristina Kirchner → The current president
• Link Cristina Kirchne
• Sadler announced → Is his name misspelt?
• Sadler announced it at 21:03, after confirming it. → This reads awkward
• He was sleeping at the moment, → Again, this isn't well constructed and is a bit confusing.
• If Argentina using American dates then they likely use American English spelling? So neighbours should be neighbors.
• The president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner was → You're using a full name here and linking it, but the previous section is styled differently and not linked?
• was out of the country at the moment, → Same as before, this makes no sense.
• There were almost a thousand people, → Almost a thousand people attended,
• and singed → and sung
• The people was → The people were
• but the huge amount → huge is too informal. Vast, perhaps?
• The governments of Spain, United States, Brazil, Mexico, Uruguay, Paraguay, Peru, Colombia, France and Chile → I would alphabetise these.
• after futfilling his goals. → typo, I guess you mean fulfilling.

Outcome

I debated the outcome of this nomination with myself for a while. I found it quite confusing in places. I'm assuming that English is not your first language? I will put it on hold for 7 days, as you should be able to amend the above.  — Calvin999 20:00, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

 Done Cambalachero (talk) 17:24, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

Great, well done. Passing.  — Calvin999 17:26, 26 August 2015 (UTC)