Talk:Deepak Tijori/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 14:26, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

I'll take this one and will leave initial comments within a day. Thanks! ☯ Jaguar ☯ 14:26, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

• The only major concern here is the lead section. It needs to be expanded to summarise the article and comply per WP:LEAD. A rule I tend to follow is that the lead should almost act as a "mini article", and at the moment it contains a list of his roles. I would expand more on his personal life and add some more details on his career (this can easily be done by shifting content around)

I have added a few more points.

• "While in college, Tijori joined an amateur theatre group. Aamir Khan, Ashutosh Gowariker, Paresh Rawal and Vipul Shah were also the members of the same group" - which group was this? Is it sustained by a reference?

Probably it was a college level amateur group. Source is given at the end of the para.

• "His friends influenced him and Tijori pursued a career in film acting. He had to struggle a lot during his early career" - not grammatically great, how about His friends influenced him to pursue a career in film acting, in which during his early career he struggled.... Also, what kind of struggles?

Reworded per suggestion.

"*He had worked for Cine Blitz magazine and also as a hotel manager" - the end needs a citation

Added.

• "Tijori portrayed minor characters in Tera Naam Mera Naam, Main Tera Dushman and Parbat Ke Us Paar" - these three films should have years

Added.

• "...alongside Aamir Khan, in which Tijori played his first negative role" - why was this role negative?

Reworded.

• ""He was a housemate on Bigg Boss (Season 1), a replacement for Salil Ankola" - how about He played the role of a housemate on Bigg Boss (Season 1), as replacement for Salil Ankola

Reworded per suggestion.

• "On Day 7, Salil was ordered by the Bombay High Court" - is this real life or part of the show? And I would change the prose to seventh day

Clarified and reworded.

• "Tijori had planned to produce 1984 — Black October" - does an article exist for this?

No, there's no article for it.

References

• The toolserver picks up no dead links

On hold

I'll leave this on hold for the standard seven days. The prose is a little rough in some places, but I'm sure you can handle it. Overall the lead needs to be expanded and anything else I mentioned above too. The references are in excellent condition. If you have a any questions, please ask. Thanks! ☯ Jaguar ☯ 15:18, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

@Jaguar: I have addressed the above issues and copy-edited the article. Do let me know if further improvements are required. Thanks.--Skr15081997 (talk) 13:57, 1 February 2015 (UTC)

Close - promoted

Thank you for addressing them, I am confident that this article is now stable and well-written enough to meet the GA criteria. The prose is pretty solid now, so promoting ☯ Jaguar ☯ 16:46, 1 February 2015 (UTC)