Talk:Deltopia

(Untitled)

delete first heading to bring lead above contents

make lead shorter and create a new heading for general material in first paragraph

find more informative heading than "networking"

find better heading than "incident reports." incorporate references as citations within the section

provide more citations inside SLOtopia section Rudolph2007 (talk) 22:52, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

1.Floatopia is an event that has taken place

be more specific--what kind of event?

2.Name also relates to "Utopia." Explain the etymology.

3. "characterized"--wrong word--probably "patronized."

4. "General" is too vague for a heading. This material belongs in the lead.

5. "Furthermore" is redundant with "also"

6. "Online Social Networking" doesnt clearly relate to topic; change wording of heading.

7. "attributed" --do you mean "attributable"? Look up these two words.

8. There are as many as 67 results that appear when searching for "Floatopia" on Facebook.--what does this mean?

9. Next three headings should be subordinated to a heading that covers all of them. "Safety Staff" doesnt provide enough information.

10. Dont use "there is" or "there are" constructions anywhere.

11."were taken to hospitals to receive treatment from head injuries from alcohol bottles being thrown, alcohol poisoning, and other lacerations." Proofread

12. proofread for spelling in this section

13.Environmental impact section needs to begin with a topic sentence, not a small supporting detail. Good material in this section, but the evidence is just thrown together, not combined into a coherent report.

14.Dont use "amount" for "number." Needs correction in several places.

15. verbs in "Floatopia 2" need to express condition contrary to fact: e.g. not "would" but "would have."

Summary: almost sufficient word count, no padding and repetition, good research and range of sources and use of paraphrase and quote, interesting subject. Still needs work on organization and expression as noted. B-

Rudolph2007 (talk) 14:33, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

Improved. This is an informative and also entertaining article. Please check the many small edits I had to make by comparing the current to the earlier page. Final grade B+ Rudolph2007 (talk) 16:10, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Contested deletion

This page should not be speedily deleted because the article does not fail any of the criteria for speedy deletion as laid out per WP:ACSD. --GauchoDude (talk) 23:16, 20 January 2017 (UTC)

Merge into another article?

Now that the AFD discussion ended as "no consensus", shall the article be merged into another article? If so, which one? --George Ho (talk) 02:10, 2 March 2017 (UTC)

No, otherwise the AfD result would have been to merge. GauchoDude (talk) 02:52, 2 March 2017 (UTC)

After an AfD closes, normal editing resumes. A merge discussion would be part of such process.

I think an appropriate target would be Santa Barbara, California, possibly the Tourist attractions section. K.e.coffman (talk) 02:56, 2 March 2017 (UTC)

Sounds reasonable to me. Dramatically shortening the article and pruning the content would also be quite welcome (and a natural side effect of a merge.) ElKevbo (talk) 14:46, 2 March 2017 (UTC)

That would not be an appropriate place as the event is actually is Isla Vista, California. The subject line in the article is incorrect. Let's put this conversation on hold for maybe like a week. Since no one else has stepped up to do it, I have taken on the task of re-writing the entire article. While it's no where near complete, feel free to view my progress User:GauchoDude/Deltopia. It is, by no means, a finished product, but should give a bit of insight as to where I'm heading with the article. If you'd like to edit the draft as well, feel free. Comments would also be appreciated. GauchoDude (talk) 19:47, 2 March 2017 (UTC)

I agree with rewriting instead of merging. Floatopia/Deltopia is most relevant to Isla Vista, but it also touches on San Diego and San Luis Obispo, and other communities, and there's plenty of source material available for a good-sized independent article instead of a few sentences in the IV article. Thanks GauchoDude for starting that project! I'll take a look and might throw some edits in. Dreamyshade (talk) 00:16, 4 March 2017 (UTC)

• Not merge – The topic has received significant coverage in reliable sources, and also meets WP:EVENTCRIT, as it has received enduring news coverage through the years. As such, it qualifies for a standalone article. North America¹⁰⁰⁰ 08:36, 3 March 2017 (UTC)

The photo was taken in San Diego, not Isla Vista.

The photo's location is given. It is in Mission Bay, San Diego. Mackerm (talk) 20:26, 14 April 2023 (UTC)

Good point! I clarified the caption. Dreamyshade (talk) 14:32, 15 April 2023 (UTC)