Talk:Derek Harland Ward/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 09:19, 24 August 2020 (UTC)

Great article. A few comments:

Lead and infobox

• for short service commission link Officer (armed forces)

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• mention and link North African campaign in the lead

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• mention when he got the bar to his DFC in the lead

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• enemy airfields and installations

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• expand 1937–38, 1938–42 and 1941–42 in the infobox, the first and second are not strictly necessary, but the second is

• I think you mean recite the year range in full? Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• decap Campaign

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

Body

• suggest "A second application to join the RNZAF, made two months after starting his pilot training, was successful."

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• for short service commission link Officer (armed forces)

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• for SS Tamaroa, link SS Sophocles (1921)

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• for Rumanian Minister of Foreign Affairs, link Ministry of Foreign Affairs (Romania), and you could add the name, Grigore Gafencu. I think we go with Romania on en WP

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

More to come. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 11:13, 24 August 2020 (UTC)

• the references to England should probably be to the UK, as the RAF is a UK service, not an English one

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• suggest "Now flying the Hurricane (drop the link, linked above), No. 151 Squadron saw little action..."

• Have deleted mention of Hurricane entirely as probably not necessary in light of previous mention. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• link RAF Martlesham Heath

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• "Immediately sent into action"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• "After refuelling he took off and low over the Channel ran into more Bf 109s. Ward dived to low level" could you condense to remove the repetition of low?

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• in general, I suggest using "RAF Debden" etc rather than piping, to make it clear they were RAF airfields

• Done, with a couple of variants. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• suggest "The irreverent nose art on the Hurricane he was ferrying back to the UK, a coat of arms featuring various unlucky symbols captioned by the phrase "So what the hell?", became widely associated with Ward but it was not actually his usual aircraft." if that is correct?

• Indeedy it is, have gone with your suggestion. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• "His involvement was brief, for a few days later"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• suggest "Messerschmitt Bf 110 heavy fighters"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• Luftwaffe is in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, so shouldn't be italicised per MOS:FOREIGNITALIC

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• do we know when he was promoted to flying officer? He seems to jump from pilot officer to flight lieutenant

• Good catch, I have added. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• mention and link North African campaign and that it was against the Germans and Italians

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• could you highlight the victory that made him an ace?

• My main source doesn't explicitly state this and I'm reluctant to do for the reason that I think the six may be based on at least two confirmed half shares. My sources doesn't state which of the damaged aircraft are confirmed though, so the actual fifth could be the He 111 or the Condor. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• Bar in the infobox vs bar in the body

• Gone lower case. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• say that Marseille was then an Oberleutnant

• Done. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• suggest "While doing so he was killed when his aircraft was shot down by Marseille."

• Much better than my clumsy version. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• in the Citations, #4 I assume the Northern Advocate is a newspaper, so italicise it

• I completed the wrong field in the newspaper cite template, fixed now. Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

• File:Derek Ward.jpg needs a US PD tag, unless it can be determined that NZ crown copyright expiry applies worldwide (like PD-AustraliaGov)

• Have added a US tag

• That one won't work without a date the photo was published. Unless you can find that, you might need to shift it to Wikipedia and add a NFUR as a bio pic. Suggest something similar to the NFUR used at File:Dobroslav Jevđević in ceremonial uniform.jpg

That's all I could find. Placing on hold for the above to be addressed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:38, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

Peacemaker67, thanks for the review. I have responded to just about all of your criticisms, except one RE becoming an ace. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:00, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

Just one thing with the infobox image. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:07, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

Have replaced with another image, unfortunately of lower quality, but one with a known publication date. Zawed (talk) 08:33, 26 August 2020 (UTC)

A shame, perhaps a publication date for the other one might be found in future. This article is well-written, verifiable using reliable sources, covers the subject well, is neutral and stable, contains no plagiarism, and is illustrated by acceptably licensed images with appropriate captions. Passing. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:53, 27 August 2020 (UTC)