Talk:Derek Jeter/GA2

Latest comment: 15 years ago by Muboshgu in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Review will begin within 24 hours. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 08:57, 19 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Well. This will be my first time doing a GAR for an article that's already failed one. Let's get to it.

Quick-fail assessment
  1. The article completely lacks reliable sources – see Wikipedia:Verifiability. -  
  2. The topic is treated in an obviously non-neutral way – see Wikipedia:Neutral point of view. -   Superlatives appear sourced.
  3. There are cleanup banners that are obviously still valid, including {{cleanup}}, {{wikify}}, {{NPOV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{fact}}, {{clarifyme}}, or similar tags. -   Clean
  4. The article is or has been the subject of ongoing or recent, unresolved edit wars. -   The article has been stable but for necessary updates for months.
  5. The article specifically concerns a rapidly unfolding current event with a definite endpoint. -   N/A, as further updates will obviously be necessary (as his career continues), but a career is neither "rapidly unfolding" nor does it have a "definite endpoint."

Proceeding with further review. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 21:59, 20 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:   Pretty much okay. Here are a few nitpicks.   Well done.
    • Avoid conditional-sounding phrases like Jeter would lead the Yankees to championships. Just say Jeter led the Yankees to championships.
    • Jeter chose to go pro, but has said, however, that he intends to attend college in the future. Best to put a time frame in this. If he said this a year ago, it may no longer be true. But if he said it a year ago, as of 2008, Jeter intends to attend college sometime in the future will always be true.
    • His season totals in average, runs, hits, runs batted in, doubles (37), triples (9), home runs (24), slugging percentage (.552) and on-base percentage (.438) were all personal bests. At the time, or to date? If to date, it should say are all personal bests, and if at the time, I'm not sure why that is significant.
    • During the 1999 season, Jeter had a rare confrontation with another player. Why's it rare?
    • After the game, Curtis approached Jeter in the clubhouse, with beat writers present. Is there a wikilink or some other explanation for beat writers ? Maybe just writers would be sufficient.
    • Rodriguez signed his deal earlier than Jeter, increasing Jeter's value. Huh? Can this be explained a little more clearly?
    • Jeter has made a series of notable plays both in the field, especially in the 2001 postseason. Needs some kind of time reference. To simply say Jeter has made notable plays in the field is probably accurate and verifiable, but it's not a claim to be made in one sentence well hidden in a section about a specific time period (1999-2002) in his career.
    • Done Removed that part, it read like it was written by a fan boy. I hope what I left is acceptable, as it came right before discussion of "The Flip", which is one of Jeter's most notable plays. --Muboshgu (talk) 13:14, 25 September 2009 (UTC)Reply
    • Regarding Mr. November, it might be good to work in a mention of and wikilink to Reggie Jackson somehow.
    • Try to go easy with the sabermetrics. Wikilinks to batting average on balls in play and range factor are sufficient to explain those terms to the uninitiated, but I'm not sure where to link for "zone rating." And goodness knows there are many, many more bizarre (well, bizarre to me anyway) stats known only or mostly by acronyms that could, but probably should not, also be included. The worst thing you can do is just refer to someone's VORP or WAR or whatever like it's immediately clear what those statistics mean or what the scale is (as in, anyone with the slightest base of knowledge in baseball knows that .220 wouldn't be considered a good batting average, but that 4.02 is a bad range factor for a shortstop needs to be explained (and is)). The article is probably all right with this as is (except for "zone rating"), so this is really just an advisement and not something that needs correction.
    • On August 23, 2009, Derek Jeter became the third youngest player since 1930 (behind Hank Aaron and Robin Yount), and sixth youngest of all players with their entire career in the Modern Era (behind Aaron, Yount, Ty Cobb, Tris Speaker, and Rogers Hornsby), with 2,700 hits. Just seems way too arcane to be significant.
    • During the 2009 season, Jeter and Mets star David Wright will represent their foundations in a competition sponsored by Delta Airlines What's Wright's group?
    • Thierry Henry appears in Gillette advertisements outwith North America in place of Jeter, for reasons of recognisability Outwith? Recognisability? American English, please, but on top of that, is this necessarily significant for Jeter's article?
    • Wax figure...is there possibility for this section to grow beyond a single sentence? Maybe it shouldn't have a separate section header if not. "Other appearances" would certainly seem to cover it. Also, did Jeter lend his voice to Funeral for a Fiend, or is it simply his likeness that appears in the show, because I really don't think Jeter himself "can be seen briefly" in an animated TV show.
    B. MOS compliance:  
    • Only thing that bugs me just a little is all the pictures being on the right. Very generally speaking, the eyes in a picture of a person should face the text. So I'd suggest moving one or both of the pictures in "2003-present" to the left, and also the picture in the "Personal life" section (moving the picture in the "Awards" section would shift the text, which is not desirable).
    • Is [1] really a necessary external link?
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:  
    • Structure's mostly okay. Source #8 (Baseball Almanac) just needs an accessdate.
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:   struck Concerns all addressed.  
    • Jeter responded to this criticism by saying "I play in New York, man. Criticism is part of the game, you take criticism as a challenge." Direct quotes need to be cited.
    • On June 2, 2009, Jeter became the 74th player to reach 2,600 hits. On June 23, 2009, Jeter passed Babe Ruth for most career doubles in Yankees history. Sources? Significance? 2600 hits and most career doubles aren't exactly talked about milestones.
    • Oh boy...sources 24, 65, 66, and 71 are all dead links.
    C. No original research:   struck Sourcing improved.  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:   Images are all free-use. This is what we like to see.
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:   Gotta have these sourcing issues addressed before I can pass this. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 00:50, 21 September 2009 (UTC) Fine job in improvements on what was already a pretty good article. Happy to capitalize that G.   Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 00:04, 27 September 2009 (UTC)Reply
Awesome, thanks. These look like reasonable fixes that won't take too much effort. How much time do I have? --Muboshgu (talk) 04:38, 21 September 2009 (UTC)Reply
Oh, I see, seven days. Is that strict, in case I'm still working on it but busy this week? --Muboshgu (talk) 04:44, 21 September 2009 (UTC)Reply
It is absolutely not strict. I would never even say seven days, it's just that the GAN template automatically does that when the status parameter is set to on hold. As long as some progress is made in a reasonable time frame, I won't fail the article for lack of attention. I'd wait about a month before I did that. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 04:51, 21 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Fixed formatting to not disturb the numbering, and in the future, please know that striking out others' comments is not really a good idea. I usually don't strike out individual concerns after they've been addressed (what I strike out is the {{GAList/check}} and any comment that follows it). This can even be considered vandalism. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 09:38, 21 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Strikethrough also disturbs numbering (actually, in that case, it creates numbering, which is a different sort of disruption). I have unstruck my comments. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 09:41, 21 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Sorry, my bad. I've seen it done in other reviews. --Muboshgu (talk) 13:33, 21 September 2009 (UTC)Reply
It's all right, I know you didn't mean anything by it. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 04:22, 22 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Good progress so far. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 05:39, 23 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Thanks. Almost done... --Muboshgu (talk) 13:00, 25 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Looks like I've finished off all issues! --Muboshgu (talk) 13:14, 25 September 2009 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for your review. My summer project finally becomes a GA! Next comes the FAN, in due time... --Muboshgu (talk) 02:46, 27 September 2009 (UTC)Reply