Wikipedia

Talk:Didier Drogba/GA1

< Talk:Didier Drogba
Latest comment: 8 years ago by DatGuy in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
Latest comment: 8 years ago18 comments3 people in discussion
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 03:40, 11 April 2016 (UTC)Reply


I will be picking up the review of this one - both for the Wiki Cup and the GA cup as well. I will be making my review comments over the next couple of days.

Side note, I would love some input on a couple of Featured List candidates, Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship and NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship. I am not asking for Quid pro Quo, but all help is appreciated.  MPJ-US  03:40, 11 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

  • @DatGuy: - leaving my first round of feedback.

GA Toolbox

edit

I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer review tool
  • No issues  Y
Copyright violations Tool
  • It looks like http://makewav.es/story/185402/title/drogba copied the Wikipedia article, too much overlay with the current article for the current article to have copied EVERYTHING without being noticed
  • I believe the other two high percentage hits are on quotes and the lower percentage ones are not actual violations either.  Y
Disambiguation links
  • No issues  Y
External links
  • According to the tool 4 links are dead (highlighted in red)
  • 9 links have connection issues (highlighted in blue)

Well Written

edit
Lead
  • The lead lists his full name but only gives the French pronunciation of Didier Drogba?
  • "Ligue 2 club Le Mans, and signed" does not need the comma
  • "year later he won another Premier League" I would change that to "they won", it's a team accomplishment
  • Statements should not be found only in the lead, the lead summarizes the article. The comment on the "Ultimate big game player" is not in the main article, I would think it would be a natural thing to include. I believe there are more statements in the lead not found later, please address.
  • "until his retirement" - earlier it stated he was still playing, please clarify.
Early life
  • "then settling in 1993 at Antony in the Paris suburbs" should be "then, in 1993, settling in Antony in the Paris suburbs.
  • Since source 19 is dead I cannot verify how much of the information between reference 18 and 19 it covers.
Le Mans
  • "switched cities" seems very informal, where did he move to?
  • "then upon his return he" needs a comma after "return"
Guingamp
  • "the end of the season he" needs a comma after "season"
Marseille
  • "Marseille manager Alain Perrin was soon replaced by José Anigo after signing Drogba from Guingamp." - not really relevant for this article is it? it's already so huge, any unnecessary detail that can be removed should - this could be removed and we would still get the same understanding of Drogba's career.
  • "At the end of the season" needs a comma after "season"
Chelsea
  • "Chelsea won the Premier League, only their second English top-flight championship and their first in 50 years,[28] and the League Cup, with Drogba scoring in extra time in a 3–2 final win against Liverpool at the Millennium Stadium, as well as reaching the semi-finals of the Champions League. " that is a lot of information crammed into one long, run-on sentence. Can you revise it into two sentences?
  • "scoring winners" too informal a phrase
  • the "highlights" section only has a source for one hattrick, they need sources as they claim these are "highlights " and need attribution to not be the author's judgement calls.
  • No source for "Drogba was the first player to end up on the winning team after scoring in both finals.", needs a source
  • "Drogba was crowned the Ivorian Player of the Year" replace "Crowned" with the neutral term "named"
  • There are no real details on the transfer issues, lack of co-operation hardly sounds like something to investigate on the face of it.
  • "He soon regained the trust of the board and fans" - seems like an interpretation or artistic license, is there a source specifically stating this?
  • The use of the term "superb" needs to be attributed to someone, otherwise it reads like a fan judgment.
  • "the last 30 minutes in which he was on the pitch" simplify as "the last 30 minutes he was on the pitch"
  • "the first to score in three consecutive English domestic cup finals" claim is not supported by a source
  • "diving" in this case seems to be a specific thing in Football, but there is no link - what exactly is "diving" in this context?
  • "hit back at Benítez in an interview" i am looking for more details, how did he hit back?
  • "the two goals he scored putting his tally at 17" - "the two goals he scored put his total at 17"
  • "beating Peter Osgood's record of 16" - "surpassing Peter Osgood's record of 16"
  • "three match" should be "three-match".
  • "Chelsea remained keen to keep the Ivorian" does not seem to be actually stated in the source
  • "his rich goal-scoring", take out the word "rich"
  • "Champions League heroics" is not neutral, find a different word than "heroics" please
  • "scored a late winner" too informal
  • "superb pass" not neutral
  • "before slotting into an empty net" too informal
  • "and sign a new contract" should be "and signed a new contract"
  • "was fouled in the area" I read that as if he was kicked in the groin or something?
  • "an impressive eight goals" not neutral, judgment call what is impressive
  • "in a 4–0 thrashing" informal tone
  • "score a fine team goal" not neutral
  • "with a ban" - ban for what?
  • "The latter being a fine solo effort in which he beat a number of the opposition players and had his first effort saved by the goalkeeper but then slotted in the rebound." - this is an encylopedic article, not a puff piece on Drogba, this seems excessively detailed and overly prasing.
  • "scored a brace" what?
  • "continued to impress" not neutral.
  • "Drogba inspired Chelsea", tone, neutrality issues
  • "medal, but" does not need a comma
  • "respective fixtures" what is a fixture in this context?
  • "The following week, Drogba scored the only goal of the 2010 FA Cup Final against Portsmouth from a free-kick, keeping up his record of having scored in all six English cup finals (FA Cup and League Cup) in which he has played. is totally unsourced
  • "when he smashed home a penalty", tone issues
  • "Drogba rejected a new deal with Chelsea and is set to sign for the highest bidder" changes tense half way through and seems to be written as it happend, never updated afterwards.
  • I don't think the article needs to mention each time he moved up the rank of Chelsea goal-scorers, just list the last one, his highest rank.
  • "hammering the ball past former teammate" - tone issues
  • "ran out" too informal
  • I think "penalty-shootout" does not need the dash
Galatasaray
  • "€4 million per season (thus €2 million in 2012–13 Süper Lig)" should be "€4 million per season, €2 million for the remaining 2012–13 Süper Lig season"
  • No follow up on the contract dispute?
  • "Gala's" too informal
  • "second half" should be "second-half"
Return to Chelsea
  • "penalty-kick" should be "penalty kick
International career
  • Drogba helped the Ivory Coast qualify for its first ever FIFA World Cup, held in Germany in 2006. His first cap came on 8 September 2002 against South Africa and he scored his first goal with Les Éléphants on 11 February 2003 against Cameroon in a 3–0 victory.[141]
  • The above paragraph seems chronologically out of order.
  • " in a penalty shoot-out." redundant, already mentioned it went to penalty kicks
  • Reference 143 does not use the colorful "group of death" moniker.
  • "5–0 thrashing of Guinea" , tone and neutrality
  • "misfortune" makes it seem like they were just unlucky, not neutral
  • Reference 157 does not support the claim that Drogba's goal was the first player from an African nation to score on Brazil.
  • "ended by their loss" should be "ended with their loss"
Style of play
  • I would have expected something, somewhere about his controversies, yes they're mentioned in passing but with the talk page referring to him as having "petulant behavior on the field" etc.? It is currently rather downplayed in the article.
  • "Dr Ken Bray of University of Bath" should be "Dr. Ken Bray of the University of Bath"

Sources/verifiable

edit
  • There are eight sources in the lead, I am pretty sure most of those statements are actually in the main article too. They should only be sourced in the main article, leads normally do not have sources in them.
  • Sources that are not in English need to indicate the language
  • All online sources should have "Accessdate" listed.
  • Reference 130 is just a bare link, please format appropriately
  • 136 as well
  • TEAM OF THE YEAR" should not be in all caps even if the source has it as such.

Broad in coverage

edit
  • Yes, it's not just football related  Y

Neutral

edit
  • Is covered under "well written"

Stable

edit
  • Fortunately vandalism is not a demerit when it comes to stable although this seems to be semi-protected for years (six years?).
    • Sorry to jump in, couldn't tell whether the question mark was for you estimating six years or being surprised at such a long semi-protection. Certainly six years ago DD was one of the most famous and visible footballers, so there would be high traffic and vandalism. He had detractors for his sometimes petulant behaviour on the field. He is not as much a daily news item any more, but I still think for now he could be classed as one of the personalities where indefinite protection is valid. '''tAD''' (talk) 22:40, 13 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

Illustrated / Images

edit
  • No issues  Y
  • @DatGuy: - Your comment "finished what I can do. Rest is foreign languages" does not indicate that you're done, in fact i am not sure what "rest is foreign languages"? Are you saying that everything has been addressed?? and "sat too long" means it sat there with no activity since the 24th when you made the language comment.  MPJ-US  12:46, 30 April 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Checking the links, there are still issues there to be addressed, that's just the first thing that I checked. Is it your assertion that you've addressed all comments?  MPJ-US  12:53, 30 April 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • @MPJ-DK: External links are fixed now. The only thing that ISN'T fixed is that the "lead lists his full name but only gives the French pronunciation of Didier Drogba." The connect issue actually does work if you check, so that's the machine's problem.Dat GuyTalkContribs 13:29, 30 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

Theni will assess to see if it passes. MPJ-US  13:54, 30 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

Since the fail was a mistake on my part I have reassessed this and passed it. Congrats  MPJ-US  17:03, 30 April 2016 (UTC)Reply

@MPJ-DK: Thank you! Keep going with the detailed comments, they really helped. Dat GuyTalkContribs 18:50, 30 April 2016 (UTC)Reply
Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Didier_Drogba/GA1&oldid=717960178"