Talk:Digital divide in Morocco
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Group Comments
editVery, very good work on your outline and source list for your project. I would recommend that each group member put their name on the section they are working on, as this will make it easier to see who is doing what during the drafting process. Also, make sure that you are all posting in the group sandbox space. I am including a link to the Digital Divide in South Africa. This is a good example of about how much you should write for each section, though obviously your sections will likely not be identical to the South African ones. [Divide in South Africa] Remember, if you need any extra help come to mine or Dr. Benoit's office hours. Again, excellent work on the beginning of your project!
Mmaggi9 (talk) 17:26, 11 October 2017 (UTC) Melanie Maggio: TA for LIS 2000
Group Comments for the Draft
editYour lead and your section on Government Involvement are looking great. You are doing a good job keeping everything focused on the digital divide, and not moving into extra information. This week make sure you finish up the last few sections of your rough draft. Please contact Dr. Benoit and I if you have any other questions.
Mmaggi9 (talk) 03:07, 17 October 2017 (UTC) Melanie Maggio: TA for LIS 2000
Peer Review
editFirst, I think the lead is really great and explains a lot about what needs to be said. Everyone seems to be on topic and have great subtopics that have to do with the digital divide. I think the lead doesn't really need more.
William: It looks like your sections are still working but is going in the right direction. I'm not sure if the numbering is still part of your outline? but confusing if it is the rough draft, I think it should be more in paragraph format.
Astede: This section could be kind of hard to link back to your guys' lead where you talk about cost being the reason for the divide. I think when you say " The age gap in who is active when it comes to social media and the internet is an apparent gap." should be worded differently. I know your trying to say that age and the internet are connected when it comes to who uses it but sounds awkward. Other than that I think if you can connect the cost of internet and age usage, this will be pretty good.
Victoria: Your section is very informative and have good points. Some sentences are a bit wordy like your starting sentence when you say, " increasingly involved in closing the digital divide being experienced by the country." and your other paragraph when you say " There are a number of measures that could be taken to help begin to close the digital divide Morocco is experiencing. One such solution would be for the government to remove ... ", here I would just say "here are the solutions helping Morocco get closer to closing the digital divide", or something direct and simple along those lines so it doesn't sound more like an essay. Other than that you have great info in both your paragraphs, so it sounds really good to me so far and I don't think much needs to be changed.
Overall, everything sounds good and factual. Also all the sources look reliable and are good choices of info.
Cecil Rucker's Peer Review
editThis is one of the more polished Wiki articles I've seen in our class. You guys have a good amount of sources and you did a great job of summarizing the information from the sources. One suggestion that stood out first would be to find a way to break up some of the longer paragraphs. The Government Involvement section flows considerably well but it does feel like a lot of information to digest. The Solutions section could be broken up by giving the final solution regarding the "Digital Morocco" its own paragraph.
Some of the language in the article could sound a little more encyclopedic. The tone of the lead section was more narrative than encyclopedic. Sentences like "This acts as a block for a lot of Moroccan internet users because the lack of competition can become costly," would be stronger if you found a way to rephrase the first four words. The previous sentence, "There exists some restrictions on telecommunication services and limited service providers to choose from," was a bit confusing and should be revised.
The first sentence of the Age section sounds slightly repetitive because of the usage of the word gap. One way to revise this one might be to say that "The age gap in who is active when it comes to social media and the internet is one that is apparent." You could also say that "There is a discernible age gap between individuals who are active social media and internet users."
You guys are off to a great start, keep up the good work.
- Cecil
Peer Review Morgan Goree
editOverall, I found this to be one of the most well-written and organized articles of any in the class. Each section was truly insightful and there were numerous different sources in use. This article is obviously far from a finished product, however this group is undoubtedly off to a good start. My first suggestion for this group going forward would be to expand on all of the sections already listed before bringing in any additional sections regarding the digital divide. I say this because for each section and respective subsection there is a great source provided, however, there is not much information there. An example of this is the Education subsection of the Limitations to Internet Access section. I would think that Education level could potentially be a major barrier to internet access and technology use in any country. However, there isn't much information about this at all, in fact education level is not even presented as an obstacle keeping some from Internet and technology use. Once you guys fil these section with a good amount of information from the credible sources you have already found I believe this will be a very good, polished article! As far as tone goes, this article is mostly informative however it is a bit narrative at times. I would suggest that you guys go in and re-evaluate the introduction section, the government involvement section, and the solutions section just to make sure that your tone is uniform and encyclopedic throughout the article. These sections were the ones I found to be a bit on the narrative side. However, I did not find any of the information given to be necessarily biased, so that is certainly a positive aspect. Overall, after reading this article the reader will certainly receive a better understanding of what digital divide is. And, once a bit more information is added to this article I believe one will recieve a clear understanding of the state of the digital divide in Morrocco.
Addressing Peer Review Comments Victoria D.
editThe peer review comments were very useful in learning what it is about the article that needed improvement. Some of the suggestions I have already implemented such as changing the tone of my sections to be less narrative and more like encyclopedia entries. I have also restructured my sections to have better flow and removed some of the wordy language originally used. My group members will need to do some additional expansions on their sections and remove the last few pieces of the outline in order for the article to be more complete. Once this is finished, the page should begin to look more like an article. VDised1 (talk) 01:05, 1 November 2017 (UTC)
Response to Peer Reviews -W. Clapp
editThe responses back were great. It was very helpful to get in others take on our work in progress. I agree that we still have much more work do to and need to expand on more of the topics when moving forward. We have some outline topics that we did not touch on. We may also need to add in a few more sources that will better give us information regarding certain topics we have not yet touched on. Moving forward we will assess the outline topics first before addressing or enhancing already existing information. I appreciate the feedback from all of my fellow classmates. Back to the drawing board our group goes to move this article further.
-W.Clapp — Preceding unsigned comment added by Wclapp1 (talk • contribs) 02:58, 6 November 2017 (UTC)
Response to Peer Reviews A.Jahannes
editThe reviews that were given were extremely helpful, and although I realize the responses to these were due a while ago I went back and reviewed everyone's final production of the sections they worked on and it seems as though what was said by our review team was implemented well in the edits. We may not have been able to collaborate in person to put this project together, but I do agree that it came together nicely. Thank you all for your feedback and great job members putting forth the work.