Talk:Domestic medicine

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Achara1, Jpunnoo1. Peer reviewers: Brendanjhong, Achow3, Zsmith7.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 20:12, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled

Hello, this is Joshua Punnoose posting on the talk page for feedback on whether this is a good article to edit.

Feedback

Hi Achara1. I liked how you incorporated Buchan into your article because he does seem to have had a major influence on domestic medicine. It was especially interesting to learn that Buchan opposed midwives and nurses. I think you could improve your article by dividing what you wrote into different subsections so that it is easier to follow what you wrote. I sometimes found myself a little lost while reading your article because I did not know what you were going to talk about in the beginning of each paragraph. Your article seems to be written in a essay form, and I think it writing it in a more factual way would help you organize the article into sections. This would also help give your article a more neutral voice. Also, you mentioned Buchan and his book once at the beginning of what you wrote and later mentioned them again as if you did not mention it before. Some small things you can fix is that you put "sever" instead of "sever," you didn't italicize Buchan's book the first time you mentioned it, and one of your citations is stuck in between the word "individual." Overall, you had a good foundation of information to build upon, and the main thing I would focus on to improve the article is the organization of it. Brendanjhong (talk) 15:20, 16 March 2017 (UTC)

Headings

This is a good article but it could use some headings to further organize the information. It starts with a large block of text and no headings afterward so there is no clear divide between the broad introduction to the topic and the specific details. Zsmith7 (talk) 12:30, 17 March 2017 (UTC)

Building off the prior comment, I would suggest making Bunchen's Domestic Medicine a complete topic on its own within this article, given the impact it had on the general topic of Domestic Medicine as a whole. Content is very good though! Sarfrazzle (talk) 17:19, 23 March 2017 (UTC)

Content

This is a good article with a lot of material present, especially in the very first section. However, I suggest making the content easier to read and less dense. The organization and content of the article was good and easy to read starting the section section. Great job! Achow3 (talk) 14:15, 22 March 2017 (UTC)