Talk:Domonique Foxworth
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WikiProject class rating
editThis article was automatically assessed because at least one WikiProject had rated the article as stub, and the rating on other projects was brought up to Stub class. BetacommandBot (talk) 18:46, 5 January 2008 (UTC)
- Now class=start!--Dthomsen8 (talk) 16:12, 4 October 2019 (UTC)
Two suggestions
editAn impartial editor has reviewed the proposed edit(s) and asked the editor with a conflict of interest to go ahead and make the suggested changes. |
Hello, I'd like to propose a couple of updates to this article. Full disclosure before all else: I'm a consultant to the NFLPA, of which Mr. Foxworth is the current president. Because I have a paid COI, I'd like for someone else to review my proposed updates, detailed below.
First, the lead paragraph, as currently written, makes it sound like Mr. Foxworth is a former NFLPA president, rather than the current president. I'd like to propose the following as a replacement for the lead paragraph, to make clear that he does currently hold this position:
Second, I'd like to add a section about Foxworth's work at the NFLPA called NFLPA career. You can view the proposed text below:
References
- ^ Jim Trotter (15 July, 2011). "Players' secret lockout insurance could have sparked talks". Sports Illustrated. Retrieved 24 April, 2013.
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(help) - ^ Hackenberg, Dave (17 July, 2011). "NFL players' Smith tops dean's list". Toledo Blade. Retrieved 24 April 2013.
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(help) - ^ "Domonique Foxworth elected prez". ESPN. Associated Press. March 25, 2012. Retrieved April 2, 2013.
- ^ "Union president outlines CBA gains". ESPN.com. ESPN. 21 May, 2012. Retrieved 24 April 2013.
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(help) - ^ Moore, Galen (January 31, 2012). "NFL players union president is bound for Harvard Business School". Boston Business Journal. Retrieved April 10, 2013.
- ^ Florio, Mike (May 17, 2012). Foxworth plans to retire "Foxworth plans to retire". Pro Football Talk. NBC Sports. Retrieved April 10, 2013.
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If you have any feedback or concerns, please feel free to reply here or drop me a message on my Talk page. Cheers! WWB Too (Talk · COI) 00:14, 26 April 2013 (UTC)
- Generally, I think this is noteworthy and should be included, and your proposed changes aren't bad. I'll take a stab at tailoring your proposed text and incorporating it into the article. On a related note, do you have access to a complete list of past NFLPA presidents and the years they served? We really should have a succession navbox for NFLPA presidents . . . . Regards, Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 22:41, 6 May 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks, Dirt (if I may call you "Dirt"). I appreciate you taking a look! Go ahead and make any changes you see fit regarding my proposed language; I care about the article being accurate, not necessarily getting my exact wording.
- And I really like the idea of a succession navbox. FWIW the NFLPA article is GA and I think the table it lists there will have all the info we need. Besides the president, the NFLPA's executive director is the top job and the non-player leadership position, so an NFLPA leadership navbox might be best. What do you think? Cheers, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 15:57, 7 May 2013 (UTC)
- Sure, "Dirt" works just fine; I've been called a lot worse! Just looked at the president and executive director lists; they may work better as separate navboxes, but I'm not wedded to the idea. I'll be chewing on the Foxworth article changes this evening. Regards, Dirtlawyer1 (talk) 16:13, 7 May 2013 (UTC)
- On second consideration, I think you're right about making two—certainly, that's how it's handled for exec dirs and presidents of the NBAPA: see Template:NBAPAPresident and Template:NBAPAExecutiveDirector. I'd be happy to set it up if you're interested in adding them later (since, as stated, I think it's better I not directly edit NFLPA-related articles). Cheers, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 18:20, 7 May 2013 (UTC)
- @WWB Too: Your requests look neutral and well-sourced, so I say go ahead and make the edits. Dirtlawyer1 can always tweak them later if he feels the need. Best — Mr. Stradivarius ♪ talk ♪ 11:31, 23 October 2013 (UTC)
- Hey Mr. Stradivarius, thanks for taking a look at this. I actually proposed these changes some months ago, and have since worked with another editor, Arxiloxos, to place a whole new draft of the article, but apparently failed to close this request. Sorry about that! Cheers, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 14:08, 23 October 2013 (UTC)
Sources to expand this article
editFollowing a conversation with User:Dirtlawyer1, I've compiled some sources that can be used to verify some relevant information about Mr. Foxworth's life and career not now included. Although Dirtlawyer1 said that he'd do the work of actually writing up the prose to include in the article, anyone is, of course, welcome to take a look at expanding this article based on these (and other) sources. Here's what I've found, including several from the Baltimore Sun and ESPN.com:
Sources:
- Education paramount to Foxworth, Denver Post, 10 December 2006
- —Early life (including full birth date), brief NFL stats, degrees
- Football Game Notes -- #23 Terps at Duke, CBS College Sports, 20 September 2004
- —ACC awards, college football info
- Three from Baltimore Co. selected in middle rounds, Baltimore Sun, 25 April 2005
- —Detailed info about NFL draft to Broncos
- Teen center to open in slain Bronco's memory, ESPN, 27 May 2008
- —Work with Boys and Girls Club
- Denver trades cornerback Foxworth to Falcons for draft pick, ESPN, 2 September 2008
- —Trade from Broncos to Falcons
- Who's The Man?, Baltimore Sun, 28 June 2009
- —Move to US, Western Tech, University of Maryland, drafted to Broncos, Falcons, Ravens, work with Boys and Girls Club
- MDVarsity.com All-Decade Team, ESPN, 28 December 2009
- —Info on high school
- Ravens' Foxworth earns first Tim Wheatley Award, Baltimore Sun, 2 August 2010
- —Philanthropic work
- Ex-Raven Foxworth says he's 'probably' going to retire, Baltimore Sun, 17 May 2012
- —Decision to retire
And that's my list. I'd be happy to help out in a more involved capacity at some point, but I hope for now that helps others get started! Cheers, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 20:27, 7 June 2013 (UTC)
Proposing a new version of this article
editThis edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Hello, I'm currently working with the NFLPA to improve articles here on Wikipedia relating to their organization. This article came up as one that needs some work, as it currently suffers from a lack of citations, and has a couple sections that consist of only one sentence.
Although User:Dirtlawyer1 had originally thought he'd be able to get to redrafting the article, based on sources I provided, it looks like he's been quite busy, so I went ahead and prepared a new draft of the article.
Because of my financial COI, I won't make any direct changes to the article. Instead, I've uploaded the draft I'm proposing to my userspace. Briefly, the new draft is structured as follows:
- A slightly shortened introduction, more in line with Wikipedia's guidelines
- An Early life section, which documents Foxworth's birth in England, his family's move to the US, and his high school football career
- A College football career section documenting his time with the Terrapins
- A Professional career section, which contains two subsections:
- National Football League discusses Foxworth's time playing for the Broncos, Falcons, and Ravens
- NFL Players Association covers the roles that Foxworth has held with the NFLPA
- Finally, I added a Community service section to the article, discussing the charitable organizations Foxworth has established
For convenience, here's the link to the draft again:
If all this looks okay, I'd appreciate it if someone could move my draft over into the mainspace, reenabling categories when they do. If you have any comments or questions, though, I'm more than open to hearing them. Cheers, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 18:26, 27 September 2013 (UTC)
- This proposed rewrite appears to me to be quality work written in good faith and a with a neutral tone, so I have placed it into the article in mainspace. I should note that I did not review all of the cited sources. --Arxiloxos (talk) 17:21, 4 October 2013 (UTC)
- Hey Arxiloxos, thanks so much for taking a look at this and moving the article over—I very much appreciate it! Cheers, WWB Too (Talk · COI) 14:27, 7 October 2013 (UTC)