Talk:Dorking/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by SovalValtos in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:48, 7 February 2021 (UTC)Reply


I'll leave comments within a couple of days. This looks like an interesting read. ♦ jaguar 16:48, 7 February 2021 (UTC)Reply

Lead
  • "held at least weekly since early Medieval times" - not sure if medieval should be capitalised here
  • The lead summarises the article well, so no issues here
Geography
  • "The basic plan of the town centre has not changed since Medieval times" - capital 'm' here again
  • "The National Trust owns several properties in the area, including Box Hill" - link Box Hill, Surrey. Also I'm not sure if 'properties' would best describe a hill
  • "The Weald (the area covering modern-day south Surrey..." - link Weald
  • "the Hythe Beds take the form of iron-rich" - 'beds' was not capitalised in the previous mention, which is the proper use?
History and development
  • The third paragraph in the Governance subsection is too short and chops the flow of the prose. I would recommend merging it with the fourth paragraph
  • "The antiquarian, John Aubrey," the comma after antiquarian is unnecessary
Public services
  • 'Services' doesn't need to be capitalised in the heading
  • "In 1735, a pump (powered by the stream) was installed" - this could be removed and condensed to just waterpump
  • "lift water from a spring (on the site of Archway Place)" - these brackets are unnecessary
  • "As of 2020, the town has two GP practices (on Reigate Road and South Street)" - brackets also not needed here
Sport
  • "Walker's contribution to motorsport and to Dorking was celebrated in October 2018 (the centenary of his birth)" - how about Walker's contribution to motorsport and to Dorking was celebrated on the centenary of his birth in October 2018
Notable buildings
  • "The statue of Thomas Cubitt (the architect and master builder) was installed in 1995" - The statue of architect and master builder Thomas Cubitt was installed in 1995

Apologies for the delay in getting to this as I've been held up by studies. There is much to commend in this article - it is well-written, comprehensive and has an extensive and well-formatted bibliography. The prose is overall engaging and flows well. I have noted a couple of choppy sentences which could easily be tweaked. Once all the above points are addressed I'll be happy to promote this.  jaguar 15:25, 12 February 2021 (UTC)Reply

Hi @Jaguar:, thanks very much for reviewing the article so thoroughly. I appreciate that this was a relatively long one to read through. I have addressed all your concerns.
Section Done? Comment
Lead  Y Medieval -> medieval
Geography  Y Medieval -> medieval
Linked Box Hill, Surrey
Linked Weald
beds -> Beds
History and Development  Y Paragraphs combined
Comma removed
Public services  Y Services -> services
pump (powered by the stream) -> pump
Round brackets removed x2
Sport  Y Rephrased as requested.
Notable buildings and landmarks  Y Rephrased as requested.
Please let me know if you have additional concerns. Thanks and best wishes, Mertbiol (talk) 15:53, 12 February 2021 (UTC)Reply
Thank you Mertbiol. It was a pleasure to review! With those out of the way I'll be happy to promote this now. Very good work with this one!  jaguar 19:12, 12 February 2021 (UTC)Reply
Awesome!! Thanks @Jaguar: for your very thorough review. Thanks also to @SovalValtos:, @Murgatroyd49: and @KJP1: for their support, encouragement and proofreading. I’m delighted that the most important town in Surrey is the first in the county to have a GA Wikipedia article! Best wishes Mertbiol (talk) 19:19, 12 February 2021 (UTC)Reply
@Mertbiol: Congratulations, well deserved. Murgatroyd49 (talk) 19:16, 12 February 2021 (UTC)Reply
Mertbiol - I’ll second that! A fantastic article. You, and Dorking, can be justly proud. KJP1 (talk) 21:36, 12 February 2021 (UTC)Reply
The vote of congratulations is carried Mertbiol! It helps having continuity of prose style.SovalValtos (talk) 22:35, 12 February 2021 (UTC)Reply