Talk:Dracophyllum fiordense/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:22, 8 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• "fiordland grass tree" this isn't mentioned in the article, there shouldn't be anything in the lead alone.

I've added it again in the etymology sec.

• You arbitrarily split the lead mid-description. I would just merge the first two paras.

Done

• "and Westland National Parks" put National Parks inside the pipelink.

Done I think

• "It was first described" reinforce the subject here.

Done

• "to D. menziesii" link?

Done

• Conservation status could be mentioned in the lead.

Done

• "4.92–16.40 ft" be consistent with conversion accuracy, the lead didn't go to 1/00th of a foot.

Done

• "Its branches grow ... and are rarely branched" grammar is a bit off for me, but also this seems contradictory, perhaps switch the other way, i.e. It is rarely branched but when it is,...

The line from the source is: "Branches erect and sparsely branched," which also makes no sense. I like your wording though, and have changed it to: "It is rarely branched but when it is, they grow upright and have greyish-brown bark on older sections, whilst newer growth is a yellow-brown." Which I think reads better.

• "the rachis and the pedicel (flower stem) " you tell us what a pedicel is, but not rachis (nor the previously mentioned panicle.

Reworded

• "pedicels, which have caducous" pedicels is overlinked, what does "caducous" mean?

Unlinked, caducous means bits which fall off early or easily, so I put it in brackets as the jargon to which I was referring.

• And bracteoles?

Done

• And ciliate and corolla?

Ciliate given as further information/real wording of many small hairs, corolla now done.

• And anther?

Done

• "article.[7][4]" ref order

Done

• "the genus Dracophyllum, as well" overlinked.

Done

• "D. townsonii and" overlinked.

Done

• " the Mount Cook and Westland National Parks" see earlier comment. And these seem to be piped to slightly different targets from before.

Done

• "the New Zealand Journal of Botany, however" journals are italicised.

Done

• "60 to 75 km " convert.

Done

• "fruit.[4][4] " so good you ref'ed it twice.

Fixed

• "Zealand."-> Zealand". (in the note)

Don't punctuation marks go in the quote? Or is this an exception.

• ""WELT55115"[4]" full stop before ref as this is a complete sentence.

Done

• Retrieval dates for websites should be consistently formatted.

Done

• ISBNs should be consistently presented.

I think all the ones that have ISBN's have them or am I wrong.

That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 18:05, 9 September 2021 (UTC)

• Ok @The Rambling Man: I have addressed all your comments but have found a few small bits I want to add if that's ok.

• @The Rambling Man: I've added a few more lines at the end of the description and in the distribution section if you want to have a quick check, I think that's all the information there is. Thanks, Dracophyllum 23:42, 11 September 2021 (UTC)