Talk:Dry shampoo
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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
editThis article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 1 April 2019 and 7 June 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Xinruib, Mtang19, Sydykim8. Peer reviewers: Rauscha, 1,1,2,3,5,8-BelaC, Tgb005.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 20:20, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Peer Review (Andrea)
editSo far, this article looks pretty good. One suggestion I would make for your introduction is that you consider either cutting out or re-ordering the 17% statistic, as it doesn't seem to fit smoothly into the introduction and feels unnecessary. For the history section, I would consider re-ordering your events. It might be a good idea to organize them chronologically: late 15th-century, and then 1700s, and then 1940s. The composition and types of dry shampoo sections look good. Overall, this is a solid start. Your section ordering seems logical. I would go through and touch up on some of the grammar and sentence structure to make everything flow smoothly, but otherwise I think this looks good.
Peer Review (Mandy Chen)
editThis article contains various relevant information that are worded in ways easy to understand. The only thing I would fix would be to trim the introduction a little bit so it is not too long. Maybe sort some of the information there into existing or other new sections? Otherwise, good job!
Peer Review (Izabela Carpenter)
editThis article looks pretty solid as of right now, but I have some ideas for changes to improve clarity. The line 'so the hair may appear clean but feel clean to the user' is a bit confusing, and could be clarified with some base word choice changes. For the History section I would arrange the information sequentially, clay powder before Minipoo etc., to give a better sense of flow. Finally, I would highly suggest adding the structure of the composition molecules, and images of dry shampoo to both give the reader a more comprehensive understanding about how dry shampoo works and to add visual interest to the page.
"Proper application"
editThis section appears to violate WP:NOTHOWTO. --Craig (t|c) 07:49, 21 October 2022 (UTC)
- The whole article seems to have problems, with an odd critical tone which reads like advocacy or even soapboxing. All the evidence that I've seen suggests that modern dry shampoo is a generally harmless product which some people find useful. --Ef80 (talk) 18:42, 8 August 2024 (UTC)
commercial products
editIf people were patenting dry shampoo in the 1790s it seems unlikely that it was first commercialised in the 1940s! Plus I can't imagine wealthy gentlemen making their own... 2A0A:EF40:131C:A401:A077:DA0B:51A2:6576 (talk) 13:27, 6 October 2024 (UTC)