Talk:Dudley Clarke/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Grandiose (talk · contribs) 10:40, 21 June 2012 (UTC)

Opening comments

• Lead needs a bit of consolidation, but I'll see to that. If you could check my edits to ensure I haven't changed the meaning.
• His defining contribution/legacy, detailed in the "Deception" section, is based off a single source and is rather short. Both of those things can be problematic, although I haven't yet had time to consider exactly whether the article fulfills the criteria on this one. A few sentences taken from another source would definitely do it, if you wanted to make my life easier :)
• I accept the NFUR for the lead image but I think you could strengthen it further by pointing out that the technical quality isn't at all good (reduces the impact on "commercial opportunities"). Similar thing with File:Dudley Clarke, Madrid, 1941.jpg: I don't think the "N/As" are really N/A, I think you ought to say that it is this photograph that's important, because it is this photograph that is the subject of commentary; and, in any case, no other photographs of his predicament exist.
• File:Queens South Africa Medal rev.jpg needs copyright details of the original medal, which is prominent enough in the photograph. Similar thing with File:British Commandos Patch.svg.

All for now, Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 10:40, 21 June 2012 (UTC)

Thanks! You're lead c/e looks fine. I can expand the sourcing in the Deception section no problem. Same for the two FUR images. Will work on those tonight. I'm not sure what to do about the latter two images (they aren't my uploads); Commons templates are a black box to me to some extent :) so advice on this would be appreciated. --Errant ^(chat!) 11:40, 21 June 2012 (UTC)

I'll see what I can do for you on that. (When I look earlier, I didn't see an actual problem, only a documentational problem. I hope this is correct on further investigation.) Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 14:53, 21 June 2012 (UTC)

• I'd just make an observation about the opening "The man who would grow up to be 'the greatest deceiver of World War 2'". It's the only time that assertion, apparently a quote, appears. It's location, right in the opening paragraph before details of his birth, is a bit unusual. And I would have expected it in a subsequent sentence/phrase, cited independently for it to have less of an "editorial" feel. Can we infer that Rankin so referred to him? --Ohconfucius ^¡digame! 13:47, 23 June 2012 (UTC)
  • Yup, it's a quote from Rankin. It's intended as a hook into the article, without editorialising. If you read the "Deception" section you will see that same quote in extended for plus plenty of others - you'd be hard pressed for find a source that didn't refer to him in such tones :) --Errant ^(chat!) 16:34, 24 June 2012 (UTC)