Talk:Duesenberg Model A/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MusikAnimal (talk · contribs) 20:59, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

I'll be taking on this review. Because of where I live I'm not much on cars, but I do find them interesting, so this should be a fun read :) — MusikAnimal ^talk 20:59, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

Sorry for the long delay, I got held up with other matters. Here’s what I’ve got:

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citations to reliable sources:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Concerns

Lead

• Just a recommendation, what if we reworded the first sentence like so: "The Duesenberg Model A was the first automobile in series production to have hydraulic brakes and the first mass-produced automobile in the United States with a straight-eight engine". I simply replaced the second instance of "series production" with mass-produced to make it sound less repetitive. If you disagree that is okay!

I am not certain of the extent to which the term "mass production" would apply to an automobile of which fewer than seven hundred were made in about six years of production. In those six years, Ford made a few million Model Ts. Sincerely, SamBlob (talk) 01:34, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

• I have to question why we would link Indianapolis, Indiana, and not New York City.

This may have been an oversight; either that, or links were placed for the locations of the company headquarters, which would explain why Newark, New Jersey, is also linked later in the article. I have since added a link to New York City in the lead. Sincerely, SamBlob (talk) 01:34, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

• I see that we are referring to the subject as the Duesenberg Straight Eight here and in other places in the article. As a legitimate pseudonym, I think we should bolden it and remove the italics in the lead. We should then also create a redirect from the alternate title Duesenberg Straight Eight to this page. You can categorize the redirect with {{R from alternative name}}.

The redirect might be a bit tricky, since Duesenberg's more famous Model J also had a straight-eight engine, and there is an article specifically about all the various types of Duesenberg Straight-8 engine. Sincerely, SamBlob (talk) 01:34, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

I think as long as we bolden Duesenberg Straight Eight (and remove the italics) we're letting the reader know there's an alternate name. If there's another car with the same name, and the article Duesenberg Straight-8 engine, I think that's cause for a disambiguation page. I can help you with that if need be. Once created, we can use {{for}} or {{about}} as a hatnote in all three articles linking to the disambiguation page. I'd recommend something like {{For|other uses of Duesenberg Straight Eight|Duesenberg Straight Eight (disambiguation)}} which renders as "For other uses of Duesenberg Straight Eight, see Duesenberg Straight Eight (disambiguation)". How does that sound? — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:34, 5 December 2014 (UTC)

I have created the redirect Duesenberg Straight Eight and added the {{redirect}} hatnote to the article. I have also added the "about" template to Duesenberg Straight-8 engine to inform those looking for the "Duesenberg Straight Eight" automobile that it is here. Sincerely, SamBlob (talk) 17:54, 5 December 2014 (UTC)

Design and engineering

• Perhaps we should link cylinder head, crankcase, oil pan, crankshaft, carburetor, intake manifold, distributor along with the other automotive terms. What do you think?

Having checked what is meant by overlinking, I agree with your suggestion and have acted on it, hopefully without going too far. Sincerely, SamBlob (talk) 01:34, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

• Should we link Stromberg to Strömberg (company)?

I have found a source that says we should not:

"In 1908, the Chicago Police Department bought its first motor vehicle, the Cubs won their last World Series, and in a one-room shop near the waterfront, a Swedish immigrant named Alfred Stromberg and five business partners incorporated the Stromberg Motor Devices Company.

"Stromberg was manufacturing brass carburetors with glass fuel chambers at the rate of one per week, but production grew as demand rapidly increased. The company provided carbs for cars, tractors, and World War I aircraft. By 1929, when Bendix Aviation acquired the company and moved it to South Bend, Indiana, Stromberg employees were producing 4,000 carburetors a day." —Bernsau, Tim (June 26, 2006). "Carburetors - The Resurrection Of The Old 97". Hot Rod Network. Archived from the original on 30 November 2014. Retrieved 30 November 2014. {{cite web}}: External link in |website= (help); Unknown parameter |deadurl= ignored (|url-status= suggested) (help)

According to this, Stromberg Motor Devices Company in Chicago would have made those carburetors. This is particularly confusing when one considers that Zenith carburettor also made a carburetor under the Stromberg brand; I do not know if these were licensed from the American company or were a trans-Atlantic coincedence. Sincerely, SamBlob (talk) 01:34, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

In hindsight I'm realizing I was probably not the best reviewer for this type of article as I’m so unfamiliar with automotive lingo and the like. However, I poked through other featured articles within Wikipedia:WikiProject Automobiles and they seem to go into just as much detail. This relieves my concern of the article being too overly detailed.

Overall I feel pretty good about this article. The above concerns should be easily addressable so I am placing the article on hold. — MusikAnimal ^talk 21:51, 30 November 2014 (UTC)

I am still trying to think of how to address the issues you raised about the lead section, especially how to have a "Duesenberg Straight 8" redirect that can be disambiguated from other potential meanings of the term. Sincerely, SamBlob (talk) 01:34, 1 December 2014 (UTC)

Sorry (again) for taking so long to get back to you. I've left another note about the lead. Once that gets addressed I think we're good to go :) — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:34, 5 December 2014 (UTC)

Y Great work! This nomination has passed. Congratulations! — MusikAnimal ^talk 04:35, 8 December 2014 (UTC)