Talk:Dungeon Siege III/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: David Fuchs (talk · contribs) 20:27, 9 January 2019 (UTC)

Review in progress (poke me if nothing is here by weekend.) Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 20:27, 9 January 2019 (UTC)

• In general, this is a solid start, but there's a few issues that have to be addressed. In particular, I think the article needs a lot of work on being accessible. It really feels like I'm expected to have played the previous game to understand this one, as much of it is written in relation to the predecessor rather than explained for the reader.
• Lead:
  • You've got just one line in a paragraph all by itself for the beginning with no further elaboration, and then a whole paragraph of well-nigh incomprehensible plot details that don't feel like an introduction to the plot at all.  Done
• Prose:
  • The game takes place in a fantasy medieval world with geographic variety in open and closed environments (dungeons). The player controls one of four predefined characters with one of the other three characters accompanying them. In previous Dungeon Siege titles, multiple characters could be active at the same time—First, you should probably state what kind of game Dungeon Siege is, as currently the only mention of action role-playing is in the lead and inbox. Secondly, I don't know what "active" characters means—I assume it's that you could control multiple characters as the human player, but I can't be sure. I'm also not sure why this is the most important details to tell readers about the game.  Done
  • What's co-op mode? What's host? You have to either explain these terms somewhat or lose them.  Done
  • Are fighting stances and styles the same thing? Done
  • We get mentions of selling and transmuting items before we get any indication you can actually buy gear or how you obtain it.  Done
  • Jeyne Kassynder rallied the people of eastern Ehb and the Azunite Church against the Legion—who?  Done
  • Following a long and brutal campaign, she managed to kill the entire remnant of the Legion in a battle in the Rukkenvahl Forest and the royalist army of young Queen Roslyn has been driven deep into the mines of Glitterdelve, bereft of almost all their power. Okay, first you say she didn't kill all the Legion, so killing the "entire remnant" sounds like she did. Secondly, royalist army implies loyalty to the king and it's not clear why the presumed princess and Queen are at loggerheads and which side is which; and finally, do we need to know details like the name of the forest or the mines? This stuff gets repeated later on but it's not really any more important there.  Done
  • He is also a descendent of the first Lady Montbarron, the protagonist of Dungeon Siege, who is commonly only referred to as "The Farmer" Lady Monbarron is known as the Farmer, or is it Lucas or Hugh? It's unclear from the construction.  Done
  • reopen the grand chapter-house there Is this a Legion chapter-house? I'm not sure what the importance of it is. Done
  • Meisters—these guys are?  Done
  • Kassynder's capital, the Spire of Azunai on top of Mount Jhereb—again, why is this stuff about the Spire and the Mount important? You're hitting readers with tons of proper nouns for stuff that doesn't matter.  Done
  • she is revealed to be an archon, a member of a servant race to the lost creator gods—we already heard about this in the character section. Done
  • Any more details on exactly what changes in the ending?  Done
  • previewing a "guardian" and an "archon" class.—not sure why these are in quotes, because we've already gotten archon explained and guardian never comes up, so might make more sense to just say they demoed two character classes.  Done
  • Not really sure we need the quoted profanity of "fuckton" to talk about the items in the reception section. It's colorful, but it's also not that illuminating.  Done

• Images:
  • File:Dungeon Siege III screenshot.png needs a better fair use rationale; what key game mechanic positively reviewed by critics is being discussed? Why is it essential to have an image versus description? Etc. Also, was it a self-made screenshot? The source just gives the game, which is not specific enough.  Done
• References:
• Spot-checked statements attributed to current refs 1, 3, 6, 15, and 25; didn't spot issues.
• A few of the links I clicked on timed out for me or redirected away from the original content (esp. the Dungeon Seige website) so those should all be double-checked and archived (or in the case of the ones already archived, deadurl field adjusted.) Done
• Some missing work/publisher fields etc throughout the article that should get cleaned up Done

—Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:02, 11 January 2019 (UTC)

Thanks for the review. I'll try and get to all of it during the next week and will ping you once I'm done. Regards SoWhy 19:03, 13 January 2019 (UTC)

Okay, I made a first pass and hopefully fixed that stuff I indicated above as done. I'll try to make a second pass to handle the rest and sprinkle references where needed tomorrow. Regards SoWhy 16:11, 17 January 2019 (UTC)

@David Fuchs: I think I got everything you mentioned. Please take another look when you have the time. Thanks again! Regards SoWhy 21:22, 18 January 2019 (UTC)

I've gone through the article again and didn't see any big remaining issues. Passing. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 15:24, 25 January 2019 (UTC)