Talk:Dutch brick/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by Dr. Blofeld in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Caponer (talk · contribs) 03:24, 12 May 2014 (UTC)
Dr. Blofeld, I plan on conducting a thorough review of this article in the coming days. Upon my initial review, it looks like it meets the criteria for Good Article status. I look forward to working with you throughout this process! Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns in the meantime. -- Caponer (talk) 03:24, 12 May 2014 (UTC)
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Dr. Blofeld, I've completed several re-reviews of the article, and I find that it is well-written and meets the criteria for Good Article status! I have a few comments and suggestions, which I've included below to be addressed. Once these have all been taken care of, we can commence with passage to Good Article status! Thank you for all the fantastic work you've done to improve the overall quality of this article! -- Caponer (talk) 02:21, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
Lead
- The image of the staircase in the lead seems a bit large to me, would there be any opposition to shrinking it slightly?
- Would the first sentence read more correctly if it was worded like so?: "Dutch brick is a type of brick made in the Netherlands, or similar brick, and an architectural style of building with brick developed by the Dutch."
- I suggest wiki-linking ballast, as it's not a very commonly used term.
- Would it be more appropriate to refer to Britain as "Great Britain" here?
- I think Britain also covers Ireland but I'll do it as suggested.
- Rather than write "eastern states of America," would it be more accurate to say "colonies in North America"? This would encompass both British and Dutch colonies in the future United States, and would avoid using the term "state" as there were no "U.S. states".
- Changed to the colonies in the east of America.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:20, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Wiki-link "Dutch Colonial" to American colonial architecture#Dutch Colonial.
Background and manufacture
- Is it possible to find another source to support the fact that the word "brick" may have Dutch origins? This source is fine, but it will substantiate the claim further with a second internal citation.
- In the second paragraph, should "twentieth century" be written as "20th century"? I'd suggest inserting a comma after "20th century".
- As stated above, I suggest replacing "nineteenth century" with "19th century".
- I disagree, it's a writing preference. An FA of mine passed recently using word form.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:23, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Paragraphs two and three utilize Janssen quite heavily. Are there any other substantiating sources that can be internally cited for some of this content?
- There's nothing wrong with that I don't think, it's what we consider a reliable source.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:28, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Dates and numbers, temperatures in Celsius should be listed "1900 °C". I suggest using the Template:Convert/list of units so that Fahrenheit equivalents are available in parentheses.
- Well-spotted! Done.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:28, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- I noticed the spellings "clinker" and "klinker" are both used in the article--pick one and use it throughout for consistency's sake.
- Klinker I think sounds more Dutch. If you spot any remaining clinkers please reword them! ♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:28, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
Europe
- In the second paragraph, please add a comma after "By the 1640s".
- I don't think it is needed, it flows better without it.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:32, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- In the second sentence of the second paragraph, "display" should probably be "displays". "Exhibits" would also work here and may be preferable.
- Agreed, changed.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:32, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- The following sentence should be rewritten as following: Saint Michael's Castle, built in Saint Petersburg between 1797 and 1801 for the Emperor Paul I, is "an enormous quadrangular pile, of red Dutch brisk, rising from a massy basement of hewn granite." This seems to read better to me, but I'm open to other alternatives.
- Changed as suggested.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:32, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- I suggest removing "(1712–86)" after Frederick the Great as it is unnecessary here.
- Add comma after "In recent years".
- Again I don't it's needed and flows better as it is.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:32, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Should European Union be wiki-linked here? It's not completely necessary, but some users may want to pop over to the article to research the organization's "competition authorities".
- "Commission" is capitalized in the final sentence. What commission does this refer to? The European Commission? Or a commission within the EU?
- More commonly referred to as the EU so I've changed to that.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:32, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
Britain and Ireland
- As I stated above, would it be more appropriate to rename this section "Great Britain and Ireland"?
- Add a comma following Dartmouth.
- Rework sentence to read "mariner Robert Plumleigh".
- Suggest editing sentence to read "One house from the late 17th century in Dutch Court is built entirely of Dutch brick." I do have a question about the sentence though: is Dutch Court a street in Topsham? If so then the sentence should read "One house from the late 17th century on Dutch Court in Topsham is built entirely of Dutch brick."
- Altered as suggested, thanks.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:35, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Wiki-link Exeter.
United States
- The lead states that Dutch brick was shipped to the United States as ballast, but the beginning of this section contradicts this by stating "bricks were not imported to the American colonies". When bricks were used as ballast, were they not counted as "imported" items?
- Wiki-link Massachusetts Bay.
- In the sentence with "but the imported bricks were better quality" add "of" between "were" and "better".
- Add comma after "at first".
- In the second paragraph, add a comma after "In New Amsterdam".
- Add comma after "In 1845".
- I don't think it's needed. If you look at the MoS guidelines I believe it's optional after years, some editors don't.
- In the third paragraph, "Revolution" should be referred to as the "American Revolution".
- Add comma after "if so".
- "Build" should be replaced with "built" and "USA" should be rewritten as "US" or "United States".
- "Albany county" should be rewritten as "Albany County" and wiki-linked to Albany County, New York.
- Wiki-link Parapet.
Albany County, New York
- "data of construction" should be reworded "date of construction".
- Hehe, oh dear. Done!♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:51, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Wiki-link Fleur-de-lis.
- The last sentence should read "The houses' brickwork incorporated various designs including spear shapes and a form like a fleur-de-lis."
- Reworded, almost as suggested.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:51, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
Other Dutch colonies
- I recommend beginning this section with some sort of lead in sentence such as "Dutch bricks and brickwork were also imported and utilized in other colonies throughout the Dutch Empire in Asia, Africa, and the Caribbean". This is merely an example, but you see what I mean.
- Added as suggested, agreed.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:51, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- In the Fort Zeelandia paragraph, should the sentence be reworded "after the Dutch acquired Formosa from China as a trading colony."
- Add a comma after "After a siege in 1662".
- In this instance I agree.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:51, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- In the Christ Church, Malacca paragraph, the unit of measurement should be metric, with feet in parentheses.
- The source states it in feet I believe, metres is given anyway, I'm not sure it matters.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:51, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Wiki-link Laterite.
- "In the island of Sint Eustatius" should be "On the island of Sint Eustatius".
- Changed.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:51, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- Add a comma after "Netherlands Antilles".
- Rewrite as and wiki-link to Johannes de Graaff.
- The gallery of images should be placed in their own section named "Gallery" or "Image gallery".
Thanks @Caponer: for your very thorough review, you picked up on a great deal of things! I don't agree on all, but the majority have been of much use, thankyou.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:58, 13 May 2014 (UTC)
- It was my sincere pleasure Dr. Blofeld! Thank you for addressing all the above comments in such a thorough and expedient fashion! This article meets all criteria for Good Article status, and so I am proud to pass this article to GA! Great work! -- Caponer (talk) 01:11, 14 May 2014 (UTC)
@Caponer: Thanks, that review was exceptionally good, you've helped improve it considerably!♦ Dr. Blofeld 08:56, 14 May 2014 (UTC)