Talk:Eastwatch/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 12:45, 5 September 2019 (UTC)

Comments

• I would say the lead is a little too long, for an article of this size I'd expect no more than three paras (see WP:LEAD). ✔

You don't seem have addressed this? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:07, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

• Any reason Sansa isn't linked in the lead. ✔
• "seasons[2][3]. " refs after punc. ✔
• What is the reason for the proseline in the Plot section? Those mini-paragraphs could be merged to form one suitably sized para per section? ✔
• Be consistent with how you link "King Joffrey", i.e. either King is or is not inside the link. But be consistent. ✔
• Avoid overlinking, e.g. you have "second season" linked in both the Writing and the Casting section. Hollywood Reporter is also overlinked in the Filming section... check for others. ✔
• "'Look, your character ... the line.'" why the two sets of quotes?+*" Christmas of 2015" no need for "of". ✔
• "including ... among others" one of these is redundant. ✔
• "For Daenerys Targaryen's return ..." this para is unreferenced. ✔

You don't seem have addressed this? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:07, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

• "Additionally, Shakman revealed..." ditto. ✔

You don't seem have addressed this? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:07, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: Apologies, I didn't initially see this and assumed that the lead was the only outstanding issue. The Optimistic One (talk) 10:37, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

• "which Peckinpah wrote the screenplay for and directed"->"for which Peckinpah wrote the screenplay and directed" ✔
• "was viewed by 10.72 million viewers" repetitive, what about "was watched by.."? ✔
• "which was significantly higher" really? 6% higher is "significantly higher"? ✔
• "to that point... to date" one of these is redundant. ✔
• "on its channel." whose? on that channel perhaps? ✔
• Check ref titles, no spaced hyphens, e.g. ref 10. ✔
• Rotten Tomatoes currently says 8.07 from 63 reviews, including three negative reviews, worth noting that the acclaim wasn't universal... ✔

That's it from me, I'm putting it on hold while we work through the above. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 10:18, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: Mission accomplished! The Optimistic One (talk) 23:37, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

The Optimistic One, there are a few notes above where you don't seem to have addressed my comments, it's easier for me and you I think to respond individually to each of the comments so we know you've completed them, or we agree they don't need to be done? Cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:07, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: I've done the vast majority of them. Are you pleased with the lead section overall? The Optimistic One (talk) 09:09, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

The lead is still four paragraphs, it should be three max. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:18, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

 Done The Optimistic One (talk) 09:20, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

There are still other outstanding comments I noticed above, please check each comment off to ensure we've covered everything. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:35, 11 September 2019 (UTC)

The Optimistic One hello, are you going to address each comment individually so we can check you've covered them all? I can still see that a para in there hasn't got a reference, as I noted above... The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 07:47, 12 September 2019 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: I've ticked above what tasks I've done. I can't find a source at the moment because my laptop is getting repaired; I'm using my phone and Xbox One at the moment. Perhaps Another Believer could help me out with this one. The Optimistic One (talk) 19:07, 12 September 2019 (UTC)

Sorry, but I'm not familiar with this article and have not been following along here. Above I see there's perhaps concern over the length of the lead, which does not seem problematic to me, and perhaps also a problem with sourcing for the paragraph starting "For Daenerys Targaryen's return...", which I don't see in the article. So, can someone please clarify what's still needed, or hopefully User:The Optimistic One can just finish this off ASAP? I'm sure User:The Rambling Man will allow the time needed. ---Another Believer _(Talk) 19:21, 12 September 2019 (UTC)

I've sorted everything bar the two quotes that are unreferenced. They're in the filming section. The Optimistic One (talk) 19:24, 12 September 2019 (UTC)

Sure, no rush. And the lead wasn't too long it had too many paragraphs. It's okay now. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 17:43, 13 September 2019 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: Are you satisfied with the article? The Optimistic One (talk) 20:11, 15 September 2019 (UTC)

The Optimistic One better, just need to fix those bare URLs in the references now and I'll done one final check, good work so far. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 16:04, 17 September 2019 (UTC)

Sure, I'll just tag it. The Optimistic One (talk) 20:06, 17 September 2019 (UTC)

Weird, why wouldn't you have fixed that yourself? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 22:33, 17 September 2019 (UTC)

Just thought I'd let a bot do it instead. The Optimistic One (talk) 05:07, 18 September 2019 (UTC)

Ok, this is done now and I'm promoting. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 19:46, 18 September 2019 (UTC)

Cheers! The Optimistic One (talk) 23:30, 18 September 2019 (UTC)