Talk:Eduardo Maldonado/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 05:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)

Yo! I shall review this within one week. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 05:05, 8 August 2023 (UTC)

Sorry for the wait! I have left my comments below. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 20:30, 13 August 2023 (UTC)

Nice work on the changes! I am satisfied and can now confidently pass this article for GA status. Congrats! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:53, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

Copyvio check

Earwig says good to go.

File(s)

Image is appropriate and has a valid public CC BY 2.0 license on Commons.

Prose

• "fixture of the department's cultural heritage" – I reckon "Potosí Department's cultural heritage" works fine here.
• I would spell out master's degree in full.

  Check! Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

• "getting his start as president" – recommend "commencing as president".

  Check. That's a word I'm definitely adding to my regular article vocabulary. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

• "He later held membership" – I would use Maldonado here IMO as his was just used three times.

  Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

• "(MAS-IPSP)" should be changed to "(MAS)" since this is the acronym used elsewhere in the article.

  Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

• Can you add a translation in parentheses next to campesinos for unfamiliar readers?

  I'd rather not, as the most accurate translation of "peasant" had kind of a negative connotation in this context – "a mob of peasants". Is it ok if I just link to the relevant section in the article on peasants? Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

  Yes! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• "lived to win his race" – should it not be "the race"?

  Since he's not running independently, yes, you're correct. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 04:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

• "of three of five" – recommend "out of five" to avoid using of twice in close succession.

  Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• "Given his break with the MAS" – recommend "Given his divergence with the MAS".

  "Given his 'split'"? Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

  That works! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• "Having done that, he kicked off his campaign" – how about "After accomplishing this, he initiated his campaign".

  Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• "ex-MAS legislators" – recommend "former MAS legislators" for better formality.

  Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• "delegation, as it had" – is the comma necessary here?

  Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• Remove the main article template for the 2021 Potosí municipal election until said article is created, as such templates cannot be redlinks.

  Enclosed in an invisible comment. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

  Great. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• What does "until-then-current" entail?

  Rearranged to "current-until-then"; in other words, they were part of the MAS up until their defection to the MTS. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

  Ah, I see – that clears things up. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

Refs

Spotcheck: I am using DeepL Translator to translate the text so forgive any errors on my part. Refs 3, 7, 19, 28, 36, 50, 59 and 62 are good.

• Ref 11 does not seem to support the first sentence: "Although Maldonado's top billing on the MAS's slate of candidates significantly boosted his odds of entering the Senate, he nonetheless actively campaigned for the position".

  Removed mention of his odds being boosted. "Top billing" is still justified; the article labels him "primer candidato a senador", meaning candidate occupying the top slot on the party's senatorial list.

  Ahh I see! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:50, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

• For ref 45 or 46, I recommend putting a citation directly after "a blue hand dictating the unethical actions of the ... Supreme Electoral Tribunal" as it is a direct quotation.

  Check. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 05:00, 18 August 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.