Talk:Edward Dando/Archive 1
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Archive 1 |
Comments
- There seems, to my eye, to be a confusion of tenses. "had been" and "was" both feature. Also "was arrested" and "had stolen" Choosing just one may improve flow.
- "3 shillings 6d" and "3s and 6d".
- "By 1840 Londoners ate 496 million oysters a year—a quarter of which was by street sellers." This has 125 mn oysters a year being eaten by street sellers.
- "Dando had a second three-month sentence in prison before being released in October 1831." This pops up a little unexpectedly. For what? For how long?
- "he was committed for eight days." I would be inclined to class this as technical jargon.
- "He was given money to tell his story". By whom and to whom?
- "A pre-decimal penny equates to approximately £0.38". I think that "in today's money" is needed to allow a reader to make sense of this. Similarly elsewhere.
- "with 6,000 people killed." Optional: 'dying'.
Nice. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:30, 25 February 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks Gog - much appreciated. I need to clear up the tenses, but the remainder is sorted. - 07:05, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- The tenses all now sorted (I hope...) - SchroCat (talk) 12:40, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
From TR
Not much from me.
- "Numerous sources provide his name Edward Dando, born in Britain" – this reads rather oddly. Perhaps something on the lines of "give his name as Edward Dando, and his nationality as British"
- "although the British Library describes him as "John Dando", an American" – you do the BL an injustice: your cited source is the British Museum
- "Dando's April 1830 arrest followed him eating 1.75 pounds" – without straying too far into the realms of pedantry, may I point out that "eating" is here a gerund – a verbal noun – and wants a possessive pronoun rather than a plain one: "followed his eating", just as you would write "followed his lunch" and not "followed him lunch".
- "in The Pickwick Papers (1836), Dickens relates that "poverty and oysters always seem to go together". You might (or might not) like to add a bit more colour by quoting more extensively from The Pickwick Papers, the last sentence below, in particular:
- "It's a wery remarkable circumstance, Sir," said Sam, "that poverty and oysters always seem to go together."
- "I don't understand you, Sam," said Mr. Pickwick.
- "What I mean, sir," said Sam, "is, that the poorer a place is, the greater call there seems to be for oysters. Look here, sir; here's a oyster-stall to every half-dozen houses. The street's lined vith 'em. Blessed if I don't think that ven a man's wery poor, he rushes out of his lodgings, and eats oysters in reg'lar desperation."
- "he visited to a tavern in Knightsbridge and drunk sixpence-worth of brandy" – two points here: first you don't want the "to" and secondly the plain past tense of "drink" is "drank". "Drunk" is what you are after getting home from lunching with me.
- "he ate two plates of beef à la mode and brandy" – I don't think one can eat brandy, whether from a plate or even a glass.
- Brandy ice-cream? - SchroCat (talk) 12:25, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Wouldn't freeze, surely? Boeuf à la mode ice-cream might be a possibility chez Heston Blumenthal. Tim riley talk 13:13, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- @Tim riley: I've made G&T ice cream before - rather pleasant it was too. A Nigella recipe, I think - and if they can do run and raisin, then why not. I tried to find something in The Alcoholics Cookbook, but no frozen brandy, alas! (And I can't believe The Alcoholics Cookbook is a redlink!) - SchroCat (talk) 13:33, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Naturally I have a copy, though it's The Alcoholic Cookbook, rather than the Alcoholic's Cookbook, which would be coming uncomfortably close to home. The only thing I frequently make from it is the Coffee Marshmallow with Brandy Cream (p. 168), which is easy-peasie and a guaranteed knock-out at dinner parties, though the Gin Torte, made once, was interesting and the Elegant Veal Chops on p. 106 and the Port Baked Plums on p. 155 have stood me in good stead now and again over the forty-odd years I've had the book. Shall ponder if I can get enough to make an article on the book, and report back by email. Tim riley talk 13:49, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Note g: "The pandemic was particularly bad in London that year, with 6,000 people dying" – there are those (of whom I am not one) who have a thing about the "with" construction used here. You could avoid their moaning (another gerund, incidentally) by recasting as "The pandemic was particularly bad in London that year: 6,000 people died".
That's my lot. I was struck, and indeed rather moved, by your quotation from Dando beginning "I refuse to starve in a land of plenty". By the time I reached the end of the quotation I was almost cheering aloud. Tim riley talk 11:39, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Many thanks Tim. All duly followed. It's a tragi-comic story the whole way through - I wonder if his proximity of mercury as a hatter had a deleterious effect on him - it seems odd that he began doing this without any known trigger, but I don't think we'll ever know the truth of it! Thanks for your comments - I'll be back for more in a few months when it starts going through some other processes. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 12:43, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
Did you know nomination
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cielquiparle (talk) 13:09, 10 March 2023 (UTC)
- ... that Edward Dando once ate 300 oysters with a loaf and a half of bread and butter in one sitting? Source: Impey, Christopher (2019). The House on the Hill. Brixton: London's Oldest Prison. London: Tangerine Press. Page 52 and "Caution to shell fish dealers, publicans &c.—Dando, the oyster-eater—abroad". The Observer. 24 June 1832
- ALT1: ... that Edward Dando's consumption of oysters was so prestigious, William Makepeace Thackeray based a short story on him and Charles Dickens compared him to Alexander the Great? Thackeray: Harden, Edgar F. (1998). Thackeray the Writer: From Journalism to Vanity Fair. pp. 11-12; Dickens: Dickens, Charles (16 March 1861). "Oysters". All the Year Round. Vol. 4, no. 99. p. 544
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Rudaki
- Comment: New article, moved from userspace
Created by SchroCat (talk). Self-nominated at 14:16, 27 February 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Edward Dando; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.
- Taking this one, expect a review within the next 24 hours Elias 🌊 💬 "Will you call me?"
📝 "Will you hang me out to dry?" 17:13, 27 February 2023 (UTC)
- @Your Power: Considering you are busy, I am available to review it. If you are still interested, kindly review it today. Thanks RV (talk) 04:54, 2 March 2023 (UTC)
- Nah, don't worry, I got this handled
General: Article is new enough and long enough |
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Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems |
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Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation |
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QPQ: Done. |
📝 "Will you hang me out to dry?" 15:00, 2 March 2023 (UTC)
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Edward Dando/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: UndercoverClassicist (talk · contribs) 17:55, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
I'll have a look at this one. Done a quick read-through and it's obviously in good shape: I'll do a more full review over the next few days, with points for general improvement separated out from the strict matter of the GAR. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 17:55, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
General comments
I should say that I'm really enjoying reviewing this article - it's a fascinating topic written with a fair bit of panache. I'm particularly impressed by the judicious incorporation of context (e.g. of Dickins on oysters) to flesh out the story and set it into its time.
This is only the results of a very quick look-over so far: I'll give it another go in the next few days. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 22:34, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
- Thank you for all your speedy replies and edits so far. I've now done another look and added a few more comments; I think I should be good to go with the template and 'proper' review once those are replied to. Again, very nice work. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 17:56, 8 March 2023 (UTC)
Resolved matters
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Lead/General
Biography
Cultural legacy
Referencing and references
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GAR Template
- It is reasonably well written.
- a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
- Very much so. Some MOS question-marks that are above the bar for GAR, so shouldn't be an impediment here.
- b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- As for 1a, I have raised some quibbles about the lead, but I'm satisfied that it's sufficiently compliant with MOS:LEAD to go through here.
- a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a. (reference section):
- The clear division between source types is a nice touch.
- a. (reference section):
- b. (citations to reliable sources):
- No remaining issues here.
- c. (OR):
- No issues here.
- d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
- Earwig's happy, and I read through some of the key sources in the course of conducting the review, and can see no evidence of plagiarism or close paraphrase.
- b. (citations to reliable sources):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a. (major aspects):
- Passes with flying colours.
- b. (focused):
- a. (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- The article has been continuously, incrementally improved over the last few months, but there are no edit wars.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
- No issues here. UndercoverClassicist (talk) 21:36, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
- b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- All images are captioned succinctly: FAC may wish for more information on their provenance, but I'm happy at a GAR level.
- a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/fail:
- This is a very good article, and I greatly enjoyed reviewing it. Thanks to User:SchroCat for their engagement with the process and timely response to my comments, as well as for their hard work on the article before (and no doubt after) this review. I note that they intend to take it to FAC, and wish it and them all the best for that - no doubt there will be more quibbles and changes, but I'm sure it will come out well.
- Pass/fail: