Talk:Edward Puttick/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Anotherclown in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk • contribs) 11:21, 15 May 2013 (UTC)
Progression
edit- Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
- Version of the article when review was closed: [2]
Technical review
edit- Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
- Disambiguations: no dab links [3] (no action req'd).
- Linkrot: external links check out [4] (no action req'd).
- Alt text: Images lacks alt text so you might consider adding it [5] (suggestion only - not a GA criteria).
- Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copy violations or close paraphrasing [6] (no action req'd).
- Duplicate links: no duplicate links (no action req'd)
Criteria
edit- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- Seems a little stilted: "Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, Southern Canterbury, New Zealand, the son of a railway worker from London." Perhaps consider: "The son of a railway worker from London, Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, in Southern Canterbury, New Zealand."
- Done
- "On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest when leading...", consider instead: "On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest while leading..."
- Done
- "He was evacuated to England for treatment. After some recuperation, he commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire." Consider instead: "He was evacuated to England for treatment and after recuperating, commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire."
- Done
- "In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force. This was raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers." Consider instead: "In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force, which had been raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers."
- Done
- Lacks context: "When New Zealand declared war on Germany..." When?
- Rephrased.
- Possible missing word here: "...to make a counterattack to support defenders of Maleme airfield...", consider: "... to make a counterattack to support the defenders of Maleme airfield..."
- Done
- Unclear what you mean here: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully defending the capture of the island...", do you mean: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully preventing the capture of the island..."?
- How did I manage to phrase it like that?! Anyway, Done
- No MOS issues I could see.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- All major points cited using WP:RS.
- No issues with OR.
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
- Level of coverage seems appropriate.
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
- No issues here.
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No issues here.
- It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
- a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
- Images are PD and seem appropriate to the article.
- Overall:
- a Pass/Fail:
- Looks quite good, just a few prose issues to work through / discuss. Anotherclown (talk) 11:46, 16 May 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review AC - all points addressed. Zawed (talk) 09:55, 17 May 2013 (UTC)
- Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 10:07, 17 May 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review AC - all points addressed. Zawed (talk) 09:55, 17 May 2013 (UTC)