Talk:Effects of Hurricane Wilma in Mexico/GA1
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Hurricanehink in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 03:34, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "The effects of Hurricane Wilma in Mexico consisted of strong winds, record rainfall, and high tides." - I mean, yeah, but this is about as generic of a start as possible. C'mon, dig deep! Be creative!
- I focused on the tourism impacts, which were the most important aspect for the region. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Three months prior to Wilma, Hurricane Emily also struck the same region." - Is this needed? If Emily compounded the effects, then sure, but I don't see a connection drawn later in the article.
- It was mentioned in quite a few articles. There was still some rebuilding going on. I think it's worth mentioning. It would be more trivial if the storm was a year or more prior. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "The large and powerful hurricane dropped torrential rainfall in the region, with 1,576 mm (62.0 in) recorded at Isla Mujeres over a 24 hour period" - Lemme see a hyphen in 24-hour period.
- Done! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Wilma damaged 28,980 houses and destroyed at least 4,571 others." - I think there's some rule somewhere that says the most notable aspects should go first, so destroyed before damaged.
- Moved around. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Wilma contributed to eight deaths in Mexico – seven in Quintana Roo and one Yucatán ." - Missing a word before Yucatan. Also, the period is flying away!
- Doh! Fixed ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- " the Hurricane Hunters recorded a minimum pressure of 882 mbar (26.0 inHg)" - Common TC practice is to use inches to the tenths right? 26.05 inHg.
- You're right, good catch. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Wilma weakened as drifted northwestward through the Caribbean over the next two days" - Missing a word. I think we can make everything after the semi-colon a new sentence too.
- Agreed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "As the hurricane approached, these watches were upgraded to a hurricane warning and expanded from Chetumal near Belize to San Felipe, Yucatán" - Plural watches --> plural hurricane warnings.
- God it. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- 'Los Premios MTV Latinoamérica – the MTV Video Music Awards Latinoamérica – were canceled due to the hurricane, scheduled originally to occur in Playa del Carmen on October 20." - scheduled originally to originally scheduled? Flows better.
- Mhm! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Hurricane Wilma affected parts of northeast Mexico that were struck by Hurricane Emily in July, as well as Hurricane Stan, which struck Mexico two weeks before Wilma." - Same deal as earlier about whether this is needed.
- This is the citation so I can mention it in the lead. We usually mention when areas were affected by a notable landfall, or other additional storms. It helps put the storm into context. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "While drifting near the Yucatán peninsula, Hurricane Wilma set a record in Mexico for the nation's highest 24 hour rainfall total," - HYPHEN
- "On the Mexican mainland, a station in Cancún recorded 10 minute sustained winds of 160 km/h (100 mph)," - 10 MINUTE NEEDS A HYPHEN
- OK :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "...it was estimated at 230 km/h (140 mph)." - What was?
- The gusts, before the anemometer failed. I clarified. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Hurricane Wilma also damaged coastal coral reefs." - You started the previous sentence with Hurricane Wilma, so maybe "The (hurricane/storm/cyclone)"?
- "In Cancún, the wave action washed away about 700,000 m3 (247 million ft3)" - Washed away what? My hopes and dreams?
- Damn, I saw that at one point and meant to add that haha ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "Across the region, Wilma damaged 473 schools,[1] including about 60% of Quintana Roo's schools; damage to schools was estimated at $156 million (MXN, US$14.8 million)." - Schools are mentioned three different times in this sentence. Maybe change the last usage to "these structures"?
- Changed the second one. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "High floodswaters damaged bridges to Telchac Puerto, Chabihau, and Santa Rosa" - I spy with my little eye a typo.
- That's what I get for writing about high floodwaters while high :P ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- In general in the Impact section, you use the word "wrecked" a lot.
- Especially the last paragraph, yea, I changed one. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "President Fox pledged that 75% of the hotels would be repaired by December 15, pledging loans and tax breaks to restore the industry." - Lots of pledging.
- Changed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "On November 28, the Official Journal of the Federation announced a disaster area for nine of Quintana Roo's 11 municipalities" - Numbers under 10 are spelled out, except when combined in a sentence with a higher number. Nine --> 9
- Good call. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- "The new beaches were not as smooth or white as the previous beach, which formed naturally over time." - Not entirely sure this is worthy of being mentioned. Not a dealbreaker for me though.
- It was mentioned in a few articles. Cancun's beaches used to be pristine white and clean, which was part of its whole international tourist draw. I wasn't sure if I struck the right balance between being informative about the aftermath, or if it's trivial. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- Spelling error in reference 34.
- ot it! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
Good, quick work with only a few minor tweaks needed! 🌧❄ϟ TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contributions) 03:34, 19 March 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks TA! I believe I got all of the issues. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 13:46, 19 March 2020 (UTC)