Talk:Egon Mayer/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jonas Vinther (talk · contribs) 23:00, 22 November 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this article first thing when I get home from work tomorrow. Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 23:00, 22 November 2014 (UTC)

• Is it well-written? Y

1. "and claimed his first aerial victory in this campaign" - Merely a suggestion, but I would suggest replacing "this" with "that" as the current word could come off as present tense.

done MisterBee1966 (talk) 18:35, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

2. "World War II in Europe began on Friday 1 September 1939" - I suppose it's matter of taste but ... is it really necessary to mention what specific day of the week the war began?

I don't have a strong opinion about this other than I think this day should be rembered. MisterBee1966 (talk) 18:35, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

3. "named after the after World War I fighter pilot Manfred von Richthofen" - I think by replacing "pilot" with "ace" the reader would get a better understanding. After all, there were thousands of German fighter pilots in World War I, but not all were top-aces like Richthofen.

done MisterBee1966 (talk) 18:35, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

4. "Together with Georg-Peter Eder, Mayer developed the head-on attack as the most effective tactic against the Allied daylight heavy combat box bomber formations" - I recommend adding ", another fight ace," between "Georg-Peter Eder" and "Mayer developed" for clarification.

reworded MisterBee1966 (talk) 18:35, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

• Is it verifiable with no original research? Y
• Is it broad in its coverage? Y
• Is it neutral? Y
• Is it stable? Y
• Is it illustrated? Y

Another excellent article, MisterBee1966. The article meets the GA-criteria, but I need your opinion on my four points. Cheers. Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 16:47, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

Thanks again for your review MisterBee1966 (talk) 19:36, 23 November 2014 (UTC)