Talk:Eighth Army Ranger Company/GA1

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Ealdgyth in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 15:41, 31 January 2012 (UTC) I'll bite. Reviewing now. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:41, 31 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
    Some small spots of prose niggles and a few MOS issues.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Organization:

  • "...unique initial organization of three officers and 73 enlisted men." think MOS wants "...unique initial organization of 3 officers and 73 enlisted men." or "...unique initial organization of three officers and seventy-three enlisted men." Your choice.
  • With that same phrase - why was it unique?
  • "The unit was formulated based on the..." awkward - can we reword to something not so jargony here? Maybe "The unit's organization was based on the.."?
  • Jargon alert: "They were authorized no vehicles." ... can we write this in non-jargon? It'll read better too.
  • "Subsequent Ranger companies furnished 107 enlisted men and five officers in three platoons..." Furnished???? They were furniture???? Suggest a different word - maybe "comprised" or something like that. Also need to either use words or numerals again here ...
  • "...which meant it did not have a permanent lineage." This means what to the non-specialist?

Origins:

  • "...though few mentioned combat experience." do you mean "...though few had combat experience."?
  • "...Of the original 76 men, 12 either dropped out of training or were injured,[17] and so the company was furnished with 10 KATUSAs." explain what KATUSAs are rather than rely on a link?

Hill 205:

  • "...and many of the Rangers were killed in their foxholes being shot or stabbed with bayonets." awkward - perhaps "and many of the Rangers were killed in their foxholes by being either shot or stabbed with bayonets."
  • "...under First Sergeant Charles L. Pitts..." two things - one, you've always lowercased ranks prior to this and second, don't we have an article on Pitts? If we don't and won't, why is it neccessary to mention his name here?

Operation Ripper:

  • "newly arrived in theater" - can we avoid the jargon?

Analysis:

  • "Altogether, 15 Ranger companies would be formed in 1950 and 1951, and another six would see combat in Korea." Needs to be either "fifteen" and "six" or "15" and "6"
  • "a military author"?? that's kinda implied from the fact that he's retired military - can we say what sort of subjects he specializes in?
Usual excellent work - just a few niggles.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:11, 31 January 2012 (UTC)Reply
I've fixed everything. Thanks for your review. —Ed!(talk) 19:45, 1 February 2012 (UTC)Reply
Looks good! Passing now. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:51, 2 February 2012 (UTC)Reply