Talk:Endgame (Megadeth album)/GA1

Latest comment: 13 years ago by Novice7 in topic Second review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Novice7 | Talk 04:43, 14 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Lead

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  • References in the lead are not encouraged. It's okay, still...  Done
  • Billboard should be italicized.  Done
  • The sentence about guitarist confuses me. Reword, maybe?

Done?

  • Remove the review by Slash. Twitter is not reliable.  Done

Writing and recording

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  • Is it edition or episode?  Done
  • Endgame was inspired by the movie Endgame written and directed also by Jones. – written and directed by Jones himself.  Done
  • The next sentence is confusing. Why did he send a copy?  Done
  • The album itself.. - remove "itself"  Done
  • "The first preview of any song off Endgame was a six-minute video featuring Andy Sneap, describing the process of mixing the new Megadeth.." – what does this actually convey?  Done

Re-worded it and made it more coherent.

  • Remove the website after track listing.  Done
  • "Dave Mustaine has said about the album" – remove "has"  Done
  • Songfacts in not reliable.  Done
  • Add he added to the end of the quote instead of "he adds", and source it.  Done

Release and promotion

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  • On May 10 - which year?  Done
  • Again, TheLiveLine need not be mentioned.  Done
  • Copy-edit may help.  Done

Singles

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  • Move the section down (below Critical)  Done
  • Lead and first need not be together. Just one is enough.  Done
  • Remove the Single cover.  Done
  • According to Roadrunner Records official. It is Roadrunner Records' official website.  Done
  • Why go way over detailed like mentioning time? Remove them.  Done
  • Music video is not an award. Also, place this sentence near the download sentence.  Done
  • Needs some sources.  Done
  • 34 → thirty-four  Done
  • No need to mention the number of nomination.  Done

Critical reception

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  • Inside quotes use ( ' ) instead of ( " ).  Done
  • Slash review should be removed. Twitter is not considered to be reliable.  Done

Track listing

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  • Maybe sources?  Done

Charts

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  • Reference should be placed near each chart. Placing all of them together is not encouraged.  Done

Personnel

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  • Source?  Done
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  • Many references should be fixed. Billboard refs should be work =Billboard and publisher =Prometheus Global Media. Also, online websites should not be italicized. I'm unsure about reliability of many websites.

Fixed, I believe.

Do not make ref titles all capital letters. Also, if work =Allmusic, then publisher =Rovi Corporation. Also, orf.at is good, use this link to cite.
  • No Dab links
  • A dead link  Done
  • Maybe, you can include a sample of a song?

I have little understanding of audio file uploading, but if it's a major concern I could put out a notice for someone to upload one.

It's not necessary. Novice7 | Talk 09:38, 28 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Second review

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More comments

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  • There is a Dead Link and redirects Here.
  • The way you've used webcite is not correct. See {{citeweb}} for the correct syntax.
  • Why is the VG lista ref title in italics?
  • Remove Discogs from the Japan Bonus Track citation.
  • Do not overlink Blabbermouth
  • Again, I'm unsure about many sources like Everydayjoe.com, Ultimate-guitar.com, Bnrmetal.com, Metalassault, Metalunderground etc. Are you sure they are reliable?
  • Remove the align center from Album chart table.

Lead

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  • Released on September 9, 2009, it was the second Megadeth album distributed through Roadrunner Records. – merge this with the first sentence and remove "it was the second Megadeth album" part.
  • Produced by Andy Sneap and Dave Mustaine, it entered the Billboard 200 at number 9, marking the band's tenth overall top 10 debut – reads as if the album entered the charts because Sneap and Mustaine produced it. Split to two sentences.
  • It was the first album featuring guitarist Chris Broderick, following prior guitarist Glen Drover's departure in 2008 and was the band's last studio album with bass guitarist James LoMenzo before Dave Ellefson replaced him in 2010. – Maybe rewrite as The album features Christ Broderick as the guitarist, and James LoMenzo as the bass guitarist.. Just summarize.
  • There are eleven tracks on the album – remove this part. Rewrite as The lyrics of the album were inspired by...
  • Move the third paragraph up and bring the now second para down.
  • and was thought of continuing the success from the band's 2007 album United Abominations. – remove this.
  • Also, couple the review from critics and chart together. See Breakout for an example.

Writing and recording

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  • On the September 10th episode of the Alex Jones Show – doesn't quite fit.
  • Jones suggested that the title and – did he choose the title?
  • who was also the producer of Megadeth's last album, → who also produced Megadeth's last album.
  • Roadrunner Records and Mustaine viewed the album as a success, and rehired Andy for duties on Endgame → which album?
  • You have undid many changes. If you don't fix them, I'll fail the article.


I'll post more. Novice7 | Talk 04:40, 29 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

Good! On Hold Novice7 | Talk 05:34, 27 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

It's okay, but the prose could use some copy-editing. Many tense issues can be seen. Novice7 | Talk 09:38, 28 December 2010 (UTC)Reply


I've fixed up all of the concerns to the best of my abilities. If further issues need to be fixed, I will address those as well. Bruce Campbell (talk) 19:33, 27 December 2010 (UTC)Reply

You reverted back all the corrections. I'm sorry, but I have to fail it for the time being. Novice7 | Talk 04:54, 30 December 2010 (UTC)Reply