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Talk:English cricket team in Bangladesh in 2009–10/GA1

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Latest comment: 9 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 9 years ago17 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:57, 25 March 2015 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • I would start the opening sentence with when they played, then what they played, to avoid that comma so early on.
  • "due to regular captain" not keen on "due to", perhaps "because"?
  • And is it worth noting in the lead why it was controversial?
  • Put ODI in parentheses after the first use of the expanded version.
  • Do we have a suitable link for "all-rounder" for our non-cricketing readers?
  • Last sentence of lead reads poorly to me. It sort of implies the criticism came about as a direct result of Kieswetter being included, not the other foreign-born players.
  • I've left this as it is, because for this series, it was the specific selection of Kieswetter that drew the criticism. Albeit largely because he was perceived as the next in a series of them. Harrias talk 11:26, 26 March 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • I'm not sure if you should have that quote from Vaughan in the lead only. Perhaps just note in the lead that he was critical and move the quote into the body with the other quote.
  • "In 12 previous" perhaps a personal preference, but I would read this better as "In the 12 previous..."
  • Another "due to" for the West Indies weakening, not keen.
  • Should link Twenty20.
  • "chronic injury on his right knee" I'm not sure you have an injury "on" something, more likely "to".
  • "This decision was not viewed universally accepted" is there a reason for "viewed" in here?
  • You could mention that Beefy and Athers were former captains...
  • I'm not certain, but I think you need a space before the ellipsis in the Beefy quote.
  • "to their squads, naming bowlers Ajmal Shahzad and James Tredwell in both squads" I don't think you need the first "to their squads"
  • "of impressive performance" needs an s.
  • "qualification period for England" this may be unclear to a non-expert.
  • " surrounding the England squad" to avoid repeating squad once again, perhaps just "surrounding England,"
  • Our article on Steve Davies calls him Steven. No big deal, but is that better?
  • " bad balls" I prefer the term "deliveries" (which can be linked)
  • I'm mildly confused why "down the wicket" is linked to Dot ball. I guess to get closer in the glossary? Either way it's a confusing.
  • I believe we can link "not out".
  • "Sher-e-Bangla National Cricket Stadium " appears to have the word "National" in its title.
  • Link spinner.
  • "match began in similar fashion to the first match, " try avoid reptitive prose, maybe replace one with ODI?
  • Is there a suitable link for "partnership"?
  • Ditto for "crease"?
  • And "run-rate"?
  • "Slow-scoring " no hyphen required.
  • "announced his retirement from international cricket two days earlier" I seem to recall in the lead that you went on to explain who replaced him, but that's not mentioned here?
  • "until wrongly dismissed" I would make this "until he was wrongly dismissed"
  • "follow on" is hyphenated.
  • Link "slip"?
  • And "sweep"?
  • "ESPNcricinfo " italics or not italics? Be consistent.
  • "from Abdur Razzak to allow" not linking to the right Razzak.
  • Not much to be gained from abbreviating DRS when it's never used.
  • "for the used of the " lose the d.
  • "both made starts" do you mean "good" starts?
  • "Bandladesh" switch the d for a g.
  • Ref 1, should be The Daily Telegraph.

I believe that is enough of my pedantry. I'll put the article on hold. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:14, 26 March 2015 (UTC)Reply

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