Talk:Enjoy Yourself (Pop Smoke song)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Enjoy Yourself (Pop Smoke song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Drmies (talk · contribs) 14:30, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

• I'm sorry, but this is not ready to be nominated. It needs some serious copyediting for verbosity, mechanical and grammatical errors, etc. Most of all it needs pruning. Drmies (talk) 14:30, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
  • Drmies can you tell me what exactly is wrong with it? The Ultimate Boss (talk) 18:21, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
    • It needs some serious copyediting for verbosity, mechanical and grammatical errors, etc. Drmies (talk) 23:33, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
      • Drmies I have asked for another reviewer to take over and see if they agree. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 00:51, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
        • Drmies I have updated the article. How does it look? The Ultimate Boss (talk) 22:32, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
          • Well it is looking better every time, but I still see things that need work, even without going too deeply or looking at the sources. For instance, "Bianca Gracie of Paper wrote the song references" is awkward (because it seems like "references" is a noun, and the omitted relative pronoun just adds to that); really all those citations need to be tweaked. The next, with "mentioned the song is about a gangster" is also not elegant. I maintain that this stuff about legal names is just unnecessary in the lead; it's undue and distracting. "Tyga shared attached screenshots of tweets" should lose "attached", and the rest of that sentence is not very elegant either; more importantly, there is no connection between that statement and the previous one. What were fans criticizing who for? And what does it mean that someone says "but he asked me to participate"? And lose the comma after 50 Cent in the last sentence of that section.

            So, there's a lot of these little things that just need work before this can be a GA. I'm not saying it can't be--but I'll also add that I won't review the whole thing, since that's out of my league. What is in my league is GA writing, so if I were you I'd do the best I can on that and then ask for/find a reviewer who knows modern pop songs and all that. Binksternet is my go-to editor for pop, but I don't know if he's interested in reviewing; he might have some tips, though. Thanks, and good luck, Drmies (talk) 22:57, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

            • Kyle Peake, can you help with the review? The Ultimate Boss (talk) 23:26, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

I was pinged, so here I am. The writing is clumsy in this article, not "clear and concise" per Wikipedia:Good article criteria. I see that Burna Boy and the so-called remix (really the original version) are not mentioned in the lead section, which needs to happen. The song was explicitly called Latin trap by the Independent, but Rolling Stone was not so explicit in naming the genre as R&B – they said it was "R&B-inflected" which means R&B was an influence or element of the song. I think R&B must be removed from the infobox and from statements of the song's genre. Rolling Stone can be cited saying the song was one of several on the album with R&B influences. Binksternet (talk) 23:32, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

Drmies can you please just fail the review? I don't want a reviewer like Binksternet who finds the writing "clumsy". I will work on improving the article later this week. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 08:24, 15 March 2021 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Enjoy Yourself (Pop Smoke song)/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:35, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

During this review, I'll check the previous one to ensure no concerns from that are still in existence. --K. Peake 08:35, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Infobox looks good!
• The release info should be after the writing sentence

 Not done I think the release info should be put first.

The Ultimate Boss This is not the order that it is supposed to be followed in the lead, as the song was obviously written before its release. Also, I did make a typo with the Kenny G part like you pointed out. --K. Peake 07:58, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

• "as the second single on" → "as the second single from the album on" with the pipe
• "featuring Burna Boy was" → "featuring Burna Boy in place of Kenny G was" because otherwise the reader is unsure if both were featured

Don't you mean Karol G?

• "was written by Pop Smoke and Karol G," → "was written by the performers alongside"
• "it features flickers of Spanish guitar" → "the song features Spanish guitar" since "it" should not be used in the para's opening sentence
• Pipe sample to Sampling (music)
• Remove Moroccan-American rapper introduction to French Montana, as that being in the body is enough, plus remove the wikilink on him at this point

 Not done it's important to introduce who the people are, even in the lead.

• Pipe music critics to Music journalism

Background

• Retitle to Background and recording
• "and used his one of his beats" → "and used one of his beats"
• "to reach international territories, he" → "to chart in international territories, Pop Smoke"
• "of another song Pop Smoke, "Get Right"," → "of fellow Pop Smoke song "Get Right","
• Introduce Tyga as being a fellow rapper
• "Tyga shared attached screenshots of" → "Tyga shared screenshots of" per the previous review
• "from February 2020 showing" → "from February 2020, showing"
• "when Karol G replaced" → "with Karol G replacing"

Music and writing

• [8][6] should be put in numerical order
• Pipe sample to Sampling (music)
• "wrote the song pays" → "wrote that the song pays"
• "wrote the song is" → "observed that the song is"
• "under their legal names of" → "under their respective legal names of"
• "It was also written alongside" → "They co-wrote it with"
• I am confused about the above sentence; why have you referred to Rico Love and French Montana by their real names in the list of writers but not the other two until the end of the sentence? You could maybe add the real names mid-sentence for these tow; also, remove the pipe on Karim Kharbouch.

Release and reception

• Pipe single to Single (music)
• Are you sure Spotify is an appropriate source for the single release date?

Spotify is the biggest streaming service right now. It is reliable to use as a source.

• "from Pop Smoke's posthumous debut studio album Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon" → "from the album"
• "was later added as the 12th track" →"was later included as the 12th track on Pop Smoke's posthumous debut studio album Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon"
• Remove wikilink on Burna Boy
• "An EP for "Enjoy Yourself" of the same name" → "An EP for "Enjoy Yourself""
• "The EP also featured" → "The EP also features"
• "Pop Smoke's vocals to" → "Pop Smoke's vocals on "Enjoy Yourself" to"
• [24] and [25] should be swapped for correct order with the listing of the chart positions

Track listings

• Retitle to Track listing
• Remove the remix, as that is part of the album track list
• Wikilink Karol G

Credits and personnel

• Pipe Karim Kharbouch to French Montana
• Why is Rico Love's production not credited and why is he listed under his real name?

Rico Love did not produce the track though...

Charts

• Good

References

• Copyvio score looks great at 21.9%!!
• Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
• Cite Complex as work/website instead for ref 1
• Wikilink The Independent on ref 7
• Shouldn't Victor Victor Worldwide also be included for ref 9?

The media notes only include Republic

• Pipe Tidal to Tidal (service) on ref 18 for consistency

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but feel free to reach out if you are confused! --K. Peake 10:43, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

Kyle Peake Thanks for the review. I have addressed all of your concerns. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 07:20, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

Kyle Peake done. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 08:43, 1 April 2021 (UTC)

The Ultimate Boss ✓ Pass now; there were a few errors but these were not points you completely missed so I fixed them. --K. Peake 09:33, 1 April 2021 (UTC)