Talk:Etta Federn/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: TompaDompa (talk · contribs) 18:08, 7 June 2023 (UTC)

I will review this. TompaDompa (talk) 18:08, 7 June 2023 (UTC)

This is a WP:QUICKFAIL. This article needs substantial work to meet WP:Good article standards. I'll list some of the issues I noted while reading through the article:

• Generally, the article needs a thorough copyediting.
• The stuff about Skuggan av Mart is only in the WP:LEAD, not the body.
• The production details about Skuggan av Mart as well as the biographical details about Stig Dagerman veer somewhat WP:OFFTOPIC, and are especially WP:UNDUE in the lead.
• The article uses the word "important" repeatedly without attribution. This is a WP:Word to watch.
• The paragraphs about Paul Federn and Walther Federn are unsourced.
• Raised in an assimilated Jewish family – what does "assimilated" mean in this context? It seems to me like a rather unfortunate phrasing with a whole bunch of implications.
• suffragist Ernestine (Spitzer) is an odd way of putting it. I'm guessing this is to say "Ernestine Federn, née Spitzer"?
• defeated the left – that's a pretty conspicuous way of describing the events of the Spanish Civil War. The usual description is "Republicans", not "the left".
• File:Etta Federn Portrait.jpg is tagged as "own work". Did you paint this, Gecko990? The caption and file description say "ca. 1947". The painting itself bears some sort of signature that I am unable to make out. Without looking into this any further, I strongly suspect that this might be a copyright violation.
• doing palm readings based on her psychological insights – it's unclear if this is meant to say that her psychological insights gave her the ability to read palms or the ability to make it seem like she could.
• Without being particularly familiar with the subject or having taken a closer look at the sources, I still must say that this article seems rather barebones, as if a lot of material that should be included is missing. There is nothing about her death, for instance.

I will add some maintenance tags to the article itself. TompaDompa (talk) 17:58, 8 June 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.