Talk:Evelyn Nesbit/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Thine Antique Pen (talk · contribs) 10:38, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

• I shall review this article. Thine Antique Pen 10:38, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

WP:LASTNAME

Please remove all use of 'Evelyn' in the article, per WP:LASTNAME. Only include where you are stating their full birth name, which is in the lead. Use 'Nesbit' their surname or 'she' or something like that in the body of the article. Thine Antique Pen 11:40, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

References

To-do.

Lead

Needs lots of work. Does not summarise the article well enough. I would expect 2—3 paragraphs for this size of article. Thine Antique Pen 11:40, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

Early life

• Paragraph 1: MOS:BOLD issues. Unbold "Florence Evelyn Nesbit" and include in lead. Thine Antique Pen 12:27, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

Modeling career

“Super-Model,” and “Pin-up Girl”

• Paragraph 3: unreferenced, add references. Remove external link.Thine Antique Pen 12:27, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Edited entry

I've edited the entire Nesbit entry addressing the constructive comments provided by reviewers: Substituted "Nesbit" for "Evelyn" as appropriate throughout and re-wrote the lead in a summary format representative of the bio as a whole. Feedback welcomed. Betempte (talk) 19:47, 17 August 2012 (UTC)