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Untitled
editFirst edit composed. All notes and corrections welcomed! Thanks Kalossoter (talk) 00:43, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Stylistic Choices and Unasked-For Suggestions: "The Farinograph is directly related to the invention of the Brabender Plastograph invented by Carl Wilhelm Brabender. Its use has been specialized for the baking industry and is used across the world as an objective measurement of a variety of flours." Could this be said, "The Farinograph is a Brabender Plastograph that has been specialized for the baking industry, its use produces an objective measurement for a variety of flours."? Or is the Brabender Plastograph a "brand-name" of sorts that merely represents a convergent technology?
For the list which follows this entry, it is unclear whether the items on the list are things the Farinograph measures, and thus allows bakers to formulate end products, or if the items on the list are parts of the formula a baker might change using the results of the Farinograph. If I understand the rest of the article, it might be restated, "A baker can formulate end product by using the Farinograph's results to determine the following:"
Also, consider rewording the first bullet, it is fragmentary even for a bullet point, contributes to my above confusion, and is unclear as described in my next paragraph.
As a point of clarity, when you discuss water absorption, do you mean the ability to absorb water or the current amount of water absorbed? In "arrival time" it sounds like it is the measure of the rate of absorption, but the rest of the article seems to indicate that water has already been added.
I think my confusion comes from lack of description of the Farinograph's actual usage and appearance. You could add something like, "a test sample of flour is prepared (thusly) and then the baker (does whatever he needs to do to make the Farinograph measure its properties)."
Finally, as a point of curiosity from the information in the article, here are some things that might be included but aren't directly relevant: Is every batch of flour different or is this device used to measure the properties of different flours from different grains? Is there some sort of lexicon of flour farinography that bakers might refer to or is the Farinograph needed with every batch of flour the baker comes to possess? Do millers distribute flour with specific farinographic properties or is it up to the baker to determine what they can realistically use each shipment of flour for on their own? I just asked the same question three times while making it appear as though they were different. I'm awesome.
Oh, and you use the male pronoun in that last section. "...the right flour for the job he is trying to complete." Tut, tut.
VoxLegio (talk) 03:25, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Fine I'll just do it myself.