Talk:Feedback (Janet Jackson song)/GA1

GA Review

Here are my comments. The article is currently on hold, meaning that you have about a week to fix the problems outlined below.

• Some of the prose is awkward, and I noticed some grammar and punctuation errors. I would strongly suggest performing (or asking WP:LOCE to do) a full, thorough copyedit.
• The lead needs to be expanded to fully summarize the article.
• Some information is missing from the article. The following sections would encompass what's missing. (for a good example, look at The Sweet Escape (song).
  • Background and writing (who wrote it, how the idea was conceived, etc.)
  • Expansion of the "Music and lyrics" section (analysis of the lyrics—not criticism; that belongs in the criticism section—the chords, the style, etc.)
  • The Critical reception section could do with more reviews and commentary.
  • A section describing the chart performance would be good, but not necessary.
  • It should have a "Personnel" section.
• In the Music video section, the references all shouldn't be at the end unless they're all referencing the last statement. References should come after the sentence that they reference.
• References usually belong after punctuation, at the end of a sentence. There were many references in the middle of sentences; they should be moved to the end of sentences in most cases. (WP:REF)
• I have added {{fact}} tags to all statements needing references.
• Was there any negative feedback on the song? I would suggest reading through reviews for the song, and finding an acceptable proportion of positive to negative reviews to quote in the critical feedback section.

I hope that this is helpful. Keilana|^{Parlez ici} 18:47, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

What I've done so far

• Resolved fact tags
• Put all sources at end of sentances - Sources all come after the punctuation
• Sorted the sources for the "Music Video" section
• Expanded both the "Critical" and "Commercial" sections
• Done "Personnel"
• Article copy edited by a former member of the Copy edit league
• Lead expanded
  • — Realist² (Come Speak To Me) 00:28, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

This looks good, I'll be passing the article shortly. Excellent work. Keilana|^{Parlez ici} 05:16, 20 June 2008 (UTC)

Thankyou, you did a great review, great advise. Yay, my first GA in what feels like ages. :-) — Realist² (Come Speak To Me) 05:19, 20 June 2008 (UTC)