Talk:Florianus/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 13:00, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
A couple of points:
- I have copy edited. Could you check and flag up anything you are not happy with.
- Probus appears rather suddenly, with no explanation as to who or what he was. Could you insert a sentence briefly giving his background to that point?
Done- Tacticus. In the lead he is "allegedly assassinated", in the article he "died... allegedly as a consequence of a military plot". How about 'allegedly assassinated as a consequence of a military plot'?
- Done
Optional prose points for your consideration:
- "allowing him to utilize guerrilla warfare to wage a war of attrition rather than a straightforward war." Consider 'a straightforward confrontation.' to avoid two "war"s in close proximity.
- Done
- "Probus launched skirmishes around the city". I am not sure if, grammatically, one can launch a skirmish. Consider 'raids'.
- Done
- "In total, Florianus' reign lasted only slightly more than 88 days." reads clumsily to me. Perhaps 'lasted less than three months'; or 'less than ninety days'?
- Done
- "However, Florianus soon had to deal with the revolt of Probus, who rose up soon after Florianus ascended" Two "soon"s in close proximity.
- Done
Gog the Mild (talk) 16:29, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- @Gog the Mild: Believe I have fixed all points. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 20:51, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Fine work there. A good tight little article. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:58, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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