Talk:Flotilla (video game)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Newyorkadam (talk · contribs) 06:22, 16 March 2014 (UTC)

Will review soon Newyorkadam (talk) 06:22, 16 March 2014 (UTC)

Pre-checklist comments:

• Everything seems great so far! Nothing looks unsourced, images seem kosher. Still gotta get to the prose though :-) -Newyorkadam (talk) 06:26, 16 March 2014 (UTC)Newyorkadam

• Will be comparing this against Infinity Blade, an existing video game good article.
  • Newyorkadam : It would be best if you compare it against Gravity Bone. Infinity Blade is not an indie game.

Comments:

• Sources for you to look at:

• bit-tech
• giant bomb
• dyk gamer
• 10dollargaming
• gamevortex
• Don't see any negative reviews in the article, and we want to get opinions from both positive and negative sources. Can you find any negative reviews?
  • Of these links you provided: the Giant Bomb one is a wiki (not reliable). The Bit-tech one might have something I could add. Diygamer too, and mostly because it received a promo code. Not sure about 10 Dollar gaming or Gamervortex. → Call me Hahc21 15:28, 16 March 2014 (UTC)

• wikilink Brendon Chung, I know it's a redirect, but maybe someone will make an article on him one day
  • I am against this by now. Chung is notable, and Blendo Games should be moved there and renamed. However, I have chosen not to do this yet (or to create an article about him separately). Until then, and given that red links and redirects are discouraged at FAC, I will have to refuse.
• wikilink Mike Rose (author)
  • Same as above.
• do you think we should wikilink the book 250 Indie Games You Must Play?
  • Not notable enough to have an article, so nope.
• "in a randomly generated galaxy. [1][2]" remove the space between period and references here
• "The game allows the player and non-playable opponents to issue orders to their ships each 30 seconds, and then performs these orders in real time."->"The game allows the player and non-playable opponents to issue orders to their ships every 30 seconds, and then perform these orders in real time."
• "Allen Cook from Gamers With Jobs commented that this gameplay set up worked "as if Homeworld only involved 2 ships and only let you set orders 30 seconds at a time.""->"Allen Cook from Gamers With Jobs commented that Flotilla's gameplay setup worked "as if Homeworld only involved 2 ships and only let you set orders 30 seconds at a time.""
  • Will do, but won't wikilink Allen Cook or Gamers With Jobs. Not notable to have an article.
• "The player is usually given no more than several ships to control, and they can be rotated arbitrarily in any direction."->"The player is usually given no more than a few (or a couple, you pick) ships to control, and they can be rotated arbitrarily in any direction.
  • or a couple, you pick? Makes no sense to me to add that.
    • I didn't mean literally to put that in. I mean, either use the words 'a few' or 'a couple' :P
• The reference for the above line doesn't really fit with the line. The ref says, "There are several ship types to find and fight against in adventure mode." This is different than what the line says; the line makes it sound like during a single game the player can control multiple ships, while the ref makes it sound like you can use different ships in different games, not in the same one. Also, I don't see where the reference mentions in which directions the ships can move.
  • The other ref in the sectino says about the direction. The player has the same ship in all games. By "several ship types to find and fight against," the source is referring to opponents, not the player.
• I don't see anything in the reference for this line that supports what it says: "The game's single-player mode is framed as a single adventure that can be played an indefinite number of times. These adventures have a fixed duration of 30 minutes. The character dies at the end of the adventure, and the player is given the option to start a new one."
  • Yes, it is in the two references provided in the section. Let me do something....
• "A hardcore mode was latter added to the game. It gives the players the possibility to remove the 30-minute duration of each adventure."->"A hardcore mode was later added to the game. It gives players the possibility to remove the 30-minute duration of each adventure."
• "Each time the player starts a new adventure, a new randomly genereated galaxy is created and filled"->"Each time the player starts a new adventure, a new randomly generated galaxy is created and filled"
  • And the suggestion is?
    • genereated->generated
      • Oh it was already fixed.
• "However, ships can only be harmed from behind or below; attacks from any other position will be countered by their shields." countered by whose shields?
  • The ship's shields...
    • So say that.
      • Done.
• "Upon succeeding, a new chapter is added to the player's character's story." The reference given doesn't say this. In fact, the reviewer even says that he couldn't succeed in beating the chapter; "I'm not sure what happens when you win instead of dying—primarily because I seem to really be pretty terrible at this game; I usually die 2-3 planets in."
  • it appears later in the text, or in the other ref...

Will do moar later :D -Newyorkadam (talk) 11:35, 20 March 2014 (UTC)Newyorkadam

• "The upgrades available to the player vary upon finishing each encounter, and the player may not receive the same upgrade by playing the same encounter in two different adventures."->"The upgrades available to the player vary upon finishing each encounter with an enemy, and the player may not receive the same upgrade by playing the same encounter in two different adventures."
• wikilink Cooperative gameplay and change 'co-operative' to 'cooperative'.
• Article says, "Chung started coding Flotilla in 2009, after Pandemic Studios was shut down and all staff laid off by Electronic Arts", but source says "That all changed in November 2009 when the EA-owned Pandemic closed its doors. Around 200 staff were laid off a week before Thanksgiving, and Chung was among them." Were all of the staff laid off or just 200?
  • Changed to "around 200". I forgot that some of the staff were not laid off but moved to EA Los Angeles.
• "Chung ... has contributed to the development of Full Spectrum Warrior and Lord of the Rings: Conquest." needs a source
• "Chung had already used id Software's id Tech 2 engine to develop his previous release, Gravity Bone." wikilink Gravity Bone. Also, source given says nothing about this sentence.
  • The ref was there, but at the end of the paragraph. Added a citation after the sentence to avoid confusion. → Call me Hahc21 16:53, 25 March 2014 (UTC)

Continuing, sorry for the delay:

• I believe it's SquareGo as per the article, no Square-Go. And please wikilink SquareGo.
  • Woah, good catch!
• "An early prototype called Space Piñata was being worked by Chung before development of Flotilla took place."->"An early prototype called Space Piñata was developed by Chung, which laid the framework for what Flotilla would become."
  • I think that your addition breaks the following sentences. My flow was like this: mention prototype's existence --> expand on what it was --> mention it's relation to Flotilla. If I mention the relationship with Flotilla from the start, I will break this order.
• Wikilink Charge Shot
  • Not notable, so no wikilink
• "criticized the multi-player mode"->"criticized the multiplayer mode"
  • Done!
• wikilink Tom Dann
  • Not notable, so no wikilink
• For the GameZone review, you only state the criticism from the review. The line directly after the criticism line says, "However, if you let it, Flotilla can also be rewarding and entertaining." Consider adding some of the positive of that review in.
  • True. Added it and choped down the quote to avoid a QUOTEFARM.
• "In the article, the magazine considered the game to be"->"The magazine considered the game to be"
  • Done!
• "Flotilla was nominated for the 2011 Independent Games Festival Vision Award"->"Flotilla was nominated for the 2011 Independent Games Festival Vision Award, but lost to ...". (possible source to help you)
  • Oops!

• Done prose! Will do the checklist once these fixes are made :-) -Newyorkadam (talk) 00:52, 28 March 2014 (UTC)Newyorkadam

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	After fixes
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Summarizes the game, gives reviews, discusses development Y
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Don't see any bias.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Majority of recent edits are from a single user, the nominator.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	File:Flotilla Coverart.png seems to be valid fair use, and File:Flotilla - combat (Blendo Games).jpg is licensed via Flickr under CC BY-SA 2.0 Y File:Brendon Chung at GDC 2012.jpg is CC BY-2.0 Y
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Please add alt text to images. Done!
	7. Overall assessment.	Nice job Hahc21 and others :D

Final decision comment:

Passed! Congrats Hahc21, hope to review s'more GAs from ya soon :D -Newyorkadam (talk) 02:24, 28 March 2014 (UTC)Newyorkadam