Talk:Fluvidona anodonta/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Amitchell125 in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 16:16, 9 June 2022 (UTC)Reply


Happy to review the article.

Review

edit

Lead section / infobox

edit
  • Link Charles Hedley; Queensland; habitat; habitat fragmentation; vulnerable species.
  • or more commonly known as the North Pine River freshwater snail – improve the prose by putting this in brackets.
  • In the text, 'The naturalists Charles Hedley and Charles Tucker Musson', not Hedley & Musson.
  • is highly elusive and only can be omitted, as this is evident from the rest of the sentence.
  • Convert 2 mm and 1 mm (e.g. with {{convert|2|mm}}.
  • of a yellow-whiteish shade – make the text more concise by amending to ‘yellow-whitish'.
  • Replace Queensland. The four river systems are the to ‘Queensland: the'.
  • I would add a comma after imposed threats.
  • species specific is hyphenated.
  • I would include (either in the lead or in the main body) the original 1890s drawing, which is available at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:P._anodonta_(Fluvidona_anodonta).jpg

More comments to follow. I will cross any comments out when you let me know you have addressed them, and ad a small red cross ( N) if I think an issue has still not been resolved. Amitchell125 (talk) 20:11, 12 June 2022 (UTC)Reply

1 Discovery

edit
  • discovered by Hedley & Musson – ‘discovered by the naturalists Charles Hedley (linked) & Charles Tucker Musson (red linked)’.(cite names using https://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/hedley-charles-6628 and https://conchology.be/index.php?t=9001&id=25627)
  • “North Pine River Freshwater Snail” – why is this enclosed in quote marks when it isn’t in quotes in the lead?
  • Only the first sentence is about the snail’s discovery. Surely the remaining sentences need to be moved out of this section and placed elsewhere.
  • Sampling – am I correct in thinking this could be linked to Sampling (statistics)?
  • Southeast Queensland - 'South East Queensland' (linked).
  • Since then, scientists have only seen the snail four times – the lead says its has been sighted four times since its discovery, though, which doesn’t quite seem to be the same thing.
  • Link North Pine River.
  • the Fluvidona anodonta snail - 'Fluvidona anodonta'.

More to follow, but this is starting to look like a big job. Please ping me to confirm you are happy to deal with potentially a lot more comments before i proceed. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:59, 13 June 2022 (UTC)Reply

2 Shape

edit
  • Link spire (Spire (mollusc)); whorl (Whorl (biology)); dextral (Sinistral and dextral).
  • The title could do with being amended to ‘Description’, as the paragraph describes much more than the snail’s shape.
  • The North Pine River freshwater snail – it might it be simpler to refer it as Fluvidona anodonta throughout.
  • Convert the measurements as in the lead section.
  • Seam and pupiform could both do with explanations.
  • Amend 4 to ‘four’.
  • The last sentence requires a citation.

Conclusion

edit

I've changed my mind about continuing with the review. Each paragraph is generating too many issues for it to be considered as a GAN at this stage, so I'm going to fail it. If you or anyone else wants to re-nominate the article, the comments in this review will need to be addressed to avoid to being failed again. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:36, 13 June 2022 (UTC)Reply