Talk:Focus (Ariana Grande song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 14:20, 22 May 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I'm MarioSoulTruthFan and I'll be reviewing this article.

Infobox

• Cover needs "alt" parameter, in other words, description.

Lead

• "The lead (introduction) should summarize the topic by touching on all of the various sections within the article. For articles of various lengths, guidelines recommend that the lead range from one to four paragraphs." → source: Nominating good articles
• No reference to charts (only has US), no relevant live performances.
• Genre of the song is missing.
• Mention of some certifications.
• Opinion of music critics?
• I could go on...so please take a look at Cry Me a River.

Background and release

• Everything is fine but the sources, see below.
• No information available of how she got involved with Max Martin doing the song, sessions with the composers?
• Not so fine after all, you have a "bunch" of dates of release of the song I don't see them mentioned in this section or misplaced at any other section by that matter.
• Producers and song-writers deserved another mention here, along with mixing personal, mastering, engineers.

Removal from Dangerous Woman

• Fine.

Composition

• Add a sample.
• Lyrics interpretation.
• The whole section needs to be re-written.
• More information is available for sure.

Critical reception

• 1st paragraph lacks "The song received mixed/bad/good reviews".
• 2nd paragraph: "On the other hand, Steven J. Horowitz and Alex Gale from Billboard rated the song". Those first three words will help discern the awful reviews from the good ones.
• No surprise, more problems with links formatting.

Commercial performance

• This section is ridiculous. The song has peaked in several countries worldwide and received enormous certifications. Only the UK and US are mentioned. How about the rest of the world and respective sales?
• Once again take a look at the Cry Me a River article.

Live performances

• Fine.
• Some references problems listed above.

Music video

The video surpassed 100 million views on November 19, 2015, making it Grande's eighth Vevo-certified music video after "Baby I". By May 2016, the video had been viewed more than 480 million times on YouTube. → Irrelevant

Synopsis

• Fine. How about add some sources of the reviews or description of the video to back it up.
• Image with description would be the cherry on top of the cake here.

Reception

It only has two critics commenting the video. Don't be afraid of adding some more.

Track listing

• Should be merged with the section below.

Release formats

• Should be merged with the section above. Either state this as a note that will appear on the bottom of the article or along with the summary of the release.

Charts

• Fine.

Certifications

• You should only state the sales in "South Korea (Gaon)" in the Commercial performance section.

Radio and release history

• Well done.

References

• First of all, some references have publisher and work, other only have work. Either add both to the link or remove publisher from every one of them. See reference 2 and 3.
• Wiki-link the work/publisher only once. Some of them are linked twice, others are not linked t all.
• I wouldn't use fuse as a reliable source.
• Billboard.com and Billboard. Which one is?
• Consequence of sound should be wiki-linked.

External links

• Fine.

Overall GA review

• This article was already a quick-fail just because of the lead, if that was not enough the commercial performance section is in the same vein.
• I strongly recommend you to take a careful and closer look at the guidelines of GAN and parameters of course.
• I can't stress this enough but take a look at more Featured articles such as the one I mentioned above or even at other GA articles, I have a few in my User page if you need.
• These are my findings with one look at the article, I didn't went much into grammar or vocabulary but I'm pretty sure this also needs some revision.
• I just saw this but there is no "Credits and personnel section". So Ariana Grande must have mastered, recorded, engineered, mixed the whole record by herself?
• So re-write the article, base yourself in other GA/FA, re-nominated it and I will be more than happy to review it again.
• Failing this article because of everything I mentioned. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:05, 22 May 2016 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.