Talk:Focus (Ariana Grande song)/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Coolmarc (talk · contribs) 14:25, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Sadly, I think this a long way from GA status and am quick-failing as I don't believe it close to meeting most of the six criteria as from a quick glance you can see it is poorly written, not verifiable or broad in its coverage. Better research and more (relevant) expansion is needed for such a widely covered topic as a well a throrough copyedit which was not done prior to nomination. If anything, based on the article edit history this was hastily nominated by nominee after one minor expansion. From the lead alone:

• The prose is poorly written. There are long run-on, poorly constructed sentences and weird summaries like ""Focus" is instrumentally completed", "Commercially" and "brassy production", stupid mistakes like "her "Dangerous Woman Tour" (2017) - tour names are not put in quotation marks, "and its producers Ilya Salmanzadeh." - are Ilya and Salmazadeh the producers now not Max Martin or "Martin" according to the infobox?
• There are MOS violations like "It was noted for" (WP:NOTED), there is also WP:OR, "Many critics praised" (WP:WEASEL, WP:PUFF), "As of January 2016" (WP:ASOF)
• WP:SYNTH "received generally mixed reviews by music critics. Many critics praised the singer's vocals", "noted for being musically similar to Grande's 2014 song "Problem"." - unattributed and not provided in its source.
• Stuff like ""Focus" has sold 425,000 copies", "the video premiered on October 30, 2015 on the singer's Vevo channel." Do not belong in WP:LEAD which is a broad yet concise summary of the article.
• Verbosity - "It was also included as part of the set list" could simply be "included in the setlist"

Other concerns from a quick glance:

• Some sources used are not WP:RS, Hugh McIntyre from Forbes.com is WP:USERG, Renowned for Sound is a random blog. It also worries me that after your expansion that WP:OR was found by another editor.
• The amount of a WP:QUOTEFARM in the article suggests that no effort was put into actually writing a good article here.
• "Dee Locket of Vulture.com provided an explanation of why "Focus" was not included" - so you are telling me Dee Lockett of Vulture.com decided that Focus should not be on the album!?
• The sales for South Korea provided are blatant WP:SYNTH.
• The citation style is outdated and inconsistent with Template:Cite web/CS1 style

Sorry this has got a long way to go. CoolMarc 15:56, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.