Talk:Fort Dansborg/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hchc2009 (talk · contribs) 18:13, 3 September 2013 (UTC)

I'll review this over the next few days. Hchc2009 (talk) 18:13, 3 September 2013 (UTC)

Thanks a lot for taking up the review.Ssriram mt (talk) 22:18, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

I think that's about done - I've made a couple of minor copyedits, but that should be good to go. Hchc2009 (talk) 07:55, 22 September 2013 (UTC)

Well-written:

(a) the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct;

• "Danish admiral Ove Gjedde" - Admiral should be capitalised here
• "The fort is the second largest Danish fort after the one in Elsinore. " - if you mean Kronborg, worth mentioning it by name.
• "the fort lost its significance as the town lost its significance as a trading post. " - repetition of "significance"
• "After India's independence in 1947" - worth wikilinking?
• " The fort is now used as a museum with the major artifacts of the fort and the Danish empire are displayed." - "with" and "are displayed" don't match ("where" and "are displayed", or "with" and "on display" would)
• "with the help of Danish royal family and Archeology Department in 2001" - "the Danish royal family". Whose Archaeology Department? (note spelling mistake, btw)
• "government of Tamil Nadu " - different capitalisation from the previous mention
• "The fort is one of the prominent tourist destination" - "destinations"
• "The Coramandel coast was an active international and commercial coast" - repetition of coast.
• "The European powers consisting of British, French, Dutch and Portuguese established maritime trade with India during the early 17th century." - The European Powers didn't consist of these countries - there were other countries in Europe. They need to be nouns rather than adjectives as well. How about "The European powers of Britain, France, Holland and Portugal established..."?
• " Danish East India Company " - wikilink?
• "admiral Ove Gjedde " - capitalisation
• "Ove Gjedde signed a deal with the then Thanjavur ruler king Raghunatha Nayak" - I'm not sure that you need the "then" here.
• "The rent was fixed as INR3111 (US$49) per annum " - what's the cite for a conversion of 17th century money into 17th century US dollars? (given that they didn't exist then...) If they're 21st century dollars, that's still going to need a strong cite as well (it is really difficult to do that sort of conversion accurately)
• " allowed the Danes to collect tax" - "taxes"
• "is maintained in Danish royal archives" - "in the Danish"
• "The fort is the second largest Danish fort after the one in Elsinore" - as above.
• " in Danish style" - "in a" or "in the"
• "The lower compartment " - I couldn't visualise a lower compartment - what was the original phrase?
• "godown" - I don't know what this is.
• " in the upper level" - the upper level of what?
• "the Colony" - "the colony"
• "and along with Tharangambadi," missing comma - "and, along with Tharangambadi,"
• " the fort lost its significance as the town lost its significance as a trading post" - as above

I have corrected all the above leaving "in Danish style". It actually refers Danish Architecture, so i am skeptical about the usage of "a" or "the".Ssriram mt (talk) 22:01, 6 September 2013 (UTC)

• "Fort Dansborg, along with the other 32 monuments" - I don't think the article has explained what the 33 monuments are.
• " The citadel encompasses" - this can mean two things; that it "encircles" or "encloses" these places, or that it "incorporates" them; for clarity, it may be worth choosing a slightly different phrase here.
• "Town Gateway built in 1792, Danish Governor Bungalow built in 1784" - the capitalisation is unusual here, unless they're preceded by "the"
• "and a series of tomb stones of Dutch and Danish built " - there's a word missing ("design"? "origin"?) after Danish
• "The fort is trapezoidal in shape with three rooms in the left" - "on the left", or "in the left wing"
• "The northern part of rectory was also used as a store room." - "the rectory"
• "and in modern times, used as a store room" - "was used as a store room"
• " The fort is in North-South orientation with doors in East and a veranda in the west." - I couldn't understand the north-south bit! Capitalisation of north/south/east/west needs to be consistent.
• "and the staircase leading to it was built with bricks" - are you happy with the past tense of "built with bricks"? All the rest is in the present tense, suggesting that it is no longer built with bricks.
• "The bastions of the fort were constructed with black stone." ditto
• "open fireplace and funnel" - "funnel"? Did you mean a chimney, or is this something else?
• I was finding the Architecture section hard going. Could I suggest breaking it into two paragraphs after "King's street", giving a para just on the fort? You could then reorder the sentences slightly, bringing the "general comments" about the fort to the start of the para, to produce something like:

"The fort is in north-south orientation with doors in the east and a veranda in the west; the length of the fort on the seaward side is 60 m (200 ft) and its width is about 11 m (36 ft). The fort has a complicated trapezoidal design, with the central part of the structure having four camel hump shaped domes, supported by the central pillar of the hall. The core of the building is made of brick. The fort has three rooms in the left wing, which was originally used as the governor's residence, including a kitchen with an open fireplace and funnel in the top left hand corner and a church room, now a museum, located in the centre of the building. In the right wing is the original rectory, which is now the store room, and the northern part of rectory was also used as a store room. The right side corner room acted as the residence of the commercial director and in modern times, used as a store room. The second storey of the fort has a set of guard rooms, and the staircase leading to it was built with bricks. There were originally citadel walls facing towards the sea, which eroded with time on account of the salty nature of the environment. The bastions of the fort were constructed from black stone. The fortification could not endure regular force, but acted as a protection for the citizens of the settlement against predatory cavalry."

• What do you reckon?

 Done - i have modified these portions. The major drawback, even with references, is the mention of fort/citadel. I have rearranged it - pls see if it is fine.

• "Tranquebar Association" - this usually seems to be termed "The Tranquebar Association"
• "the same kind of material used during the original construction" - does this just mean brick or stone, or is it more specific?
• "ASI" ?
• "Chemists from the ASI restored the portrait of Raja Ragunatha Naik, Tranquebar site map, pottery from Danish period, portrait of the Danish King, Christian IV in 2001 in Chennai and returned the restored artifacts to the museum." This sentence doesn't quite make sense - why did chemists need to restore the map of the site? "portrait of the Danish King, Christian IV in 2001 in Chennai" suggests that that portrait is in 2001, etc. I'd revisit the site map bit, and bring the date of the restoration (assuming it is 2001) to the front.
• "Metal Halide lamps, which gives a uniform green coloured lighting" - "which provide uniform green-coloured lighting"?
• "There was a rock project planned by the Government of Tamil Nadu to lay stones along the shores to protect the fort and the Masilamaninathar Temple in Tharangambadi from erosion." - I'm not sure that "a rock project" works here. I'd advise simply "A project was planned by the..."
• "a first of its kind initiative" - a little informal
• " iron cast street lamps" - "cast iron street lamps"
• " involved laying of cobble-stone pathways" - either " involved the laying of cobble-stone pathways" or " involved laying cobble-stone pathways"
• "Environmental protection measures like restraining movement " > "Environmental protection measures, like restraining the movement "
• " it stuck coins" - "struck coins" (or "minted coins")
• "In popular culture" - is this the right title for this section? Most of it doesn't feel very much like "popular culture"
• "Joh. Friedrich Koenig" - His first name needs expanding (assuming this is an abbreviation for Johann)
• " a large number of videos, cinemas and commercials" - do you mean cinemas or films? (the latter would make more sense from the context)

 Done - i have modified the culture/renovation sections.Ssriram mt (talk) 19:10, 15 September 2013 (UTC)

(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

Factually accurate and verifiable:

(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;

• The references appear in two different formats. Some are like this "Hamilton 1820, pp. 457–8", others like this, "Guillot, Claude; Lombard, Denys; Ptak, Roderich (1998). From the Mediterranean to the China Sea: Miscellaneous Notes. Otto Harrassowitz Verlag. p. 215. ISBN 9783447040983." - the format needs to be consistent across the article.

When more than one page is referred from the same book, short citation is used.

Ah - I couldn't work out the pattern. The result, incidentally, is that the References section only covers part of the material used. It does meet the minimum required for a GAR, but I'd be recommending changes if it went to ACR or further. Hchc2009 (talk) 17:20, 6 September 2013 (UTC)

• "Thomas, Alastair H. (2010). The A to Z of Denmark. Scarecrow Press. ISBN 9781461671848." lacks a page number.

added.

• " Heinzelmann, Eva (2006). Der dänische Gesamtstaat: ein unterschätztes Weltreich?. www.verlag-ludwig.de. pp. 76–77. " - doesn't seem to be the right author for these pages

modified.

• "Archaeological Survey of India (1903). Annual Report of the Archaeological Department, Southern Circle, Madras. Madras." - does this have authors by chapter? Hchc2009 (talk) 18:14, 4 September 2013 (UTC)

It is prepared by the department - i didnt see individual authors. Short citation is used to differentiate page numbers.

• "Dept of Archaeology"'s proper name seems to be the "State Department of Archaeology". Hchc2009 (talk) 18:16, 4 September 2013 (UTC)

I referred the official site here -[1]. Ssriram mt (talk) 22:18, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

Have a look here for the full name on their official site. Hchc2009 (talk) 17:20, 6 September 2013 (UTC)

 Done

(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;

• Some of the citations are hard to link to the text. "The fort is believed to have been initiated at around 1620, while the actual construction completed by 1622. It was built by Ove Gjedde with the help of local laborers in Danish style. The fort is the second largest Danish fort after the one in Elsinore, the inspiration for Shakespeare's Hamlet. The lower compartment adjoining the fort was used as a godown, prison and a rest room for the soldiers, while the governor and priests resided in the upper level. Fort Dansborg was the base for Danish settlement in the region during the early 17th century. Originally a fishing village, Tharangambadi (referred as Tranquebar) was fortified by the Danish, who used the port as the main trading post for the Colony, with the major export of the colony being cotton textiles. During the mid of 18th century, the commercial importance of the town declined and the centre of textile production moved to Bengal. But Tranquebar still remained the headquarters of the Colony. The fort and the town was sold to the British in 1845 and along with Tharangambadi, the fort lost its significance as the town lost its significance as a trading post.[10][11][12][13][14][15][2][16][17]" for example, makes it really hard to see where any individual fact comes from. Is there any chance of clarifiying this (e.g. by giving an indication in the citation, or citing individual sentences?)

 Done

• "As a part of the first phase of the project, Cobble-stoned pathways and ornamental iron cast street lamps, common features of Danish architecture, were installed in the path around the fort. The cobble-stone pathways were laid for a total of 350 m (1,150 ft) in the facade and for 100 m (330 ft) on Goldsmith street..." - the citation doesn't quite support this para, saying that this is being worked on, that street lamps are being considered, phase II has been "proposed" etc.

 Done - have added another ref that details completion.

• "Fort Dansborg is built in Danish style characterized by large rooms, columned verandahs, tall ceilings and projecting pelmets." - the reference doesn't quite say this. It describes the town, rather than the fort, as "marked by spacious rooms, columned verandahs, high ceilings and projecting pelmets." NB: this is very close to the original text, and should probably be a direct quote. Hchc2009 (talk) 19:08, 5 September 2013 (UTC)

rephrased.

(c) it contains no original research.

• None found. Hchc2009 (talk) 07:50, 22 September 2013 (UTC)

Broad in its coverage:

(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;

• Yes. Hchc2009 (talk) 07:50, 22 September 2013 (UTC)

(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

• Yes. Hchc2009 (talk) 07:50, 22 September 2013 (UTC)

Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.

• Appears neutral on first read through. Hchc2009 (talk) 18:04, 4 September 2013 (UTC)

Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

• Stable. Hchc2009 (talk) 18:04, 4 September 2013 (UTC)

Illustrated, if possible, by images:

(a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;

• Yes. Hchc2009 (talk) 18:08, 4 September 2013 (UTC)

(b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

• Yes. Hchc2009 (talk) 18:08, 4 September 2013 (UTC)