Talk:Franzisca Baruch/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 10:54, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

I'll have a go at this one. Chiswick Chap (talk) 10:54, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Comments

An interesting and well-written article.

Thanks!

• I think "Staatliche Kunstgewerbeschule Berlin" could have an interlanguage link Kunstgewerbeschule Berlin, which redirects to the fearsome Unterrichtsanstalt des Kunstgewerbemuseums Berlin.
  • done

• "A year later, in 1921, she drew the letters for the Passover Haggadah, which was decorated with woodcuts by Jacob Steinhardt,[2] she also wrote Hebrew and German text." Not sure I understand the last clause — what does it have to do with the rest of the sentence?
  • removed, I can't remember why should it be here.

• The quotations from "recombination of historical and modern" ... onwards need to be attributed and cited. The words might be Ishai Mishory's?
  • done

• "Reichskunstwart" is glossed "Reich art counselor", an awkward phrase which doesn't suggest the roles of regulation and mediation; the Reichskunstwart article has instead "Imperial Art Protector" which perhaps works better, though still with an odd ring. Google suggests "Imperial Art Warden", hmm. Perhaps "Imperial Art Monitor" would do.
  • done, though i think both "Reich art counselor" and "Imperial Art Monitor" sound strange...

• "in the centenary" - perhaps "on". The sentence ends with "!." which seems excessive.
  • done

• "based on the Haggadah from 1526 by Gershom ben Solomon Kohen" - perhaps "Gershom ben Solomon Kohen's 1526 Haggadah"?
  • done

• "aliyah": perhaps gloss this (immigration from the diaspora).
  • done

• "the King Amanullah" - drop the "the".
  • done

• The Jewish Virtual Library is flagged as a generally unreliable source. What makes it usable in this case?
  • I didn't know that it's unreliable. I removed it, everything in the text is supported by other sources so it's not really needed here.

• The 1947 portrait is by Alfred Bernheim. As a formal portrait it should be attributed in the caption. You could also i.l.l. him to the article on the German wiki.
  • done

OK, that's about it from me. Chiswick Chap (talk) 11:19, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap: Thanks a lot for the review! I think I've addressed everything. Artem.G (talk) 13:22, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Excellent, good work. Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:42, 3 January 2022 (UTC)